Infield, Outfield, Mission Field

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Heading out to the field? The baseball field?

As my sons have grown up playing baseball, I've learned that gorgeous green playing field beckons kids from all walks of life--with all kinds of moms. Approaching this time of year once again, I think back to the many women I've shared these seasons with: single moms, widowed moms, and grandmoms with full parental custody of their grandchildren. Sports moms spend a great deal of time sitting on the sidelines cheering for their kids, and, like women are prone to do, forming relationships with one another. How can you share the love of Christ with the moms sharing the sidelines with you this year?

Get to know the other mothers. Don't be shy! Introduce yourself, and put together a list of names and phone numbers. An easy way to strike up a conversation with any mom is to ask her to tell you about her child.

Arrange carpooling. Find out where other teammates live and see if you can arrange to share rides. Lots of moms need help getting their children to afternoon practice times.

Open your home. My husband grew up in a home where all of his teammates were welcome. His mother would set another place at the table and somehow divide meal portions so there was always enough to go around. A Christian home is a safe haven that God wants you to share with others.

Pray for the team. One season, our team families experienced various crises, including the death of a grandmother, one mom’s broken engagement, and another parent’s major surgery which included a hospital stay. Knowing what was going on in people’s lives gave us the opportunity to pray for these families and share Christ’s love with them through active ministry.

Support the coach. Whether you have the best coach or the worst, trust that God put your child with this person for a reason. Show your support for the coach by submitting to his authority and expertise on the field. Avoid gossip or derogatory remarks about the coach and others who are investing so much of their time and energy on your child.

Different cultures, beliefs, and lifestyles intermingle with the love we share for baseball. Too often, we shy away from others because we are afraid of getting involved or we fear our attempts at friendship will be rejected. However, these are folks with whom you already have a lot in common: You have kids the same age playing on the same team! This is a great opportunity to shed a little light and sprinkle a little salt on those around you. Ask God to open your heart to the other moms and bless the development of new relationships, opening doors to share Christ.

Want more info on sharing Christ? Check out these posts:
Can I Get a Witness? Exploring Open Doors for Sharing the Good News!
Scripture is the Key to Revealing the Truth of Christ
Faith Means Taking a Risk

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Guest Post by David Powell: What Makes My Family Different

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Recently my son David (16) had the assignment in his Notgrass American History curriculum to write a paper on what makes his family different. We decided to use the assignment not for another paper, but for the opportunity to get creative with a Top Ten list! I was so tickled with what David came up with that I asked him to guest post for me today! This definitely gives you some insight into our family LOL! And if we're not so different, let us know. He'll be looking for your comments! :)

1. Say, “Bradys” or “80's,” and you've got three or four hours worth of Mom sing-along songs to choose from.

2. The rules in the house are as follows: (1) Obey all rules and (2) Do not write on the walls, as it is very hard to get writing off of walls.

3. Some people can't understand you because they speak a different language. My parents speak English but for some reason ask us to repeat ourselves often, as if they don't understand us. Example:

"Me and my friend want to go to the movies Friday," says the unassuming son.
"Who?" answers the confused parent.
"Me and my friend."
"Who?" comes the reply again, drawing an exasperated sigh from the son.
"My friend and I." I know, weird... We blame it all on the nights on Broadway.

4. The women of the family habitually make lists. These lists, however, do not appear physically but rather in essence. One feels the ethereal power of the list when the sister or mother speaks of your female friend as being "on my list." I have yet to see conclusive evidence that such a list exists, except spiritually, and am also inconclusive as to what being on the list means. It seems to be merely a tool to produce that which is awkward.

5. Organization is a state of mind...unless we’re talking coupons.

6. We have our own theory of relativity. It is based upon the hypothesis that everyone surrounding us can find some point of relativism with my dad. It’s a theory because we have found the hypothesis consistent with much data and many fourth cousins.

7. Rebelliousness is tempered with homeschooledness. A great prank is pouring food coloring into the toilets after the Chemistry tutorial. #bad2thebone

8. My brother and I walk into women's restrooms every week... because we're janitors.

9. My mom's dad is a pastor. Whenever we're with him, we engage in Bible trivia. The questions range anywhere from the dimensions of the Sea of Galilee, to the authors of different books, to all the different Mary’s in the New Testament. And it's awesome.

10. Mom’s giving me credit for writing this; that, my friends, is homeschooling in all its glory.



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Weekly Wrap-Up: The Truth about Hookah

Let me begin by saying that I'm sure this will be the only Weekly Wrap-Up that mentions hookah smoking.

Photo courtesy: Rebecca Poole Images

 Soooo....here's the story: Last weekend I was relaxing at the coffee shop where my daughter's band sometimes plays and previews new material. There were a lot of people there who had come specifically to see DANYA, including my niece who, as the latest member of Nashville's music paparazzi, came armed with her hot pink Barbie camera! Friday is always open mic night at this place and it's a magnet for young people, so it is a pretty "happening" nightspot. It is obvious if you are over 30 that you must be someone's parent, or else it must be your first time there and you won't be coming back now that you know it is really not your crowd...LOL

DANYA is (L -R): Danya Powell, Mat Poole, Asa Wiggins, Matt Morris
(Photo courtesy: Rebecca Poole Images)

So my sister-in-law, Karla, had invited a friend, and they had both brought their little girls (8-year-olds) who had seen the band before and are big fans. :) With our smoothies, milkshakes, and coffees ordered, we were chatting amiably when someone said, "What is that smell?" And then a server strolled past our table to the one next to us with a hookah pipe in hand. (It looks just like a bong.) And one of the moms said, "And what is that?"

Photo courtesy:
shishapipe.com

Just so you know, seating is at a premium in this place, so the table next to us was literally a couple of inches away. Well, good grief--I was really embarrassed and not prepared for this. Hookahs are a recent addition to this coffee place, and I had not really noticed it before because they were smoking outside. With the colder weather, however, they were smoking hookah inside. I had not mentioned to Karla that it would be something she would have to deal with and be prepared for because I was not aware. Anything pretty and shiny immediately attracts the attention of 8-year-old girls (ok, yeah, any-year-old girls!), and we were doing some fancy footwork to explain to the kids that it was wrong, harmful, etc., while I was also explaining to the moms just what it was. Since I've just learned about hookahs recently, let me fill you in with this info from tobaccofreeu.org.

What is a Hookah and Shisha?

• A hookah is a water pipe used to smoke tobacco through cooled water. The tobacco is heated in the bowl at the top of the hookah and the smoke is filtered through the water in the base of the hookah.
• Alternate names for hookahs include: water pipe, goza, hubble-bubble, borry, arhile, and narghile.
• Shisha is the tobacco smoked in a hookah. It is a very moist and sticky tobacco that has been soaked in honey or molasses.
• There are a variety of shisha flavors including apple, plum, coconut, mango, mint, and strawberry.

It's weird, it's different, it's sort of mystical. For teenagers, it definitely has the rebellious "cool factor" that many are seeking. I shouldn't have been too surprised when I saw some of my former writing students (homeschoolers) over in the corner of this establishment puffing away. And here's what the kids are saying about it:

It's not really smoking.

It's a water-base, and way more filtered than regular cigarettes, so it's not unhealthy.

It's okay--it's not addictive.

Don't worry, there's no secondhand smoke effects.

Well, I'm not sure where they got their information, er, misinformation, but I came home and started doing some research. All of the above statements, er, misstatements, are refuted with cold hard facts at tobaccofreeu.org. And here's more info from that site:

Quick Facts
Compared to a single cigarette, hookah smoke is known to contain:

• Higher levels of arsenic, lead, and nickel1
• 36 times more tar
• 15 times more carbon monoxide

Smoking a hookah requires taking longer and harder drags, increasing levels of inhaled nicotine and carcinogens in the lungs. The longer the hookah session, the more nicotine and toxins one takes in.
A 45 to 60 minute hookah session exposes the smoker to approximately the same amount of tar and nicotine as one pack of cigarettes.
Sharing mouthpieces (gross!) without washing them can increase the risk of spreading colds, flu,and infections—even oral herpes.
Health risks of smoking hookahs include cancer, heart disease, lung damage, and dental disease.
Do not think that if you are just visiting a hookah bar, that you are in the clear. There are still high levels of damaging secondhand smoke to all who are present.

Don't be misled and don't be uninformed about what is making headway and becoming trendy with our teens. Arm yourself with the facts, because evidently, hookah has some pretty good word-of-mouth going for it with the rumors abounding of it not being as "bad" as cigarettes.

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Redefine Beautiful

New to Mom Seriously? Welcome! You'll find tons of great parenting articles, homeschooling encouragement, and every day, a Mom's Tip of the Day. Enjoy!

One of the lies prevalent in our girls' everyday culture is this one: If my friends like the way I look, then they will like me.

This lie is kind of tricky to explain because, unfortunately, there are some people who will like you just because they like the way you look. This lie hinges on the word "friends." Real friends are going to be there when you look your best and when you are simply not having a good hair day. :) And even the most gorgeous person can't be guaranteed the blessing of real friends because it is not just about the way you look! It's about your heart.

At the Pure In Heart Conference this Saturday, I'll be talking about that lie, and I will be countering it with the weapon of God's Word! The verse I will be using is one of my favorites, Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2). I like the way the Amplified Bible expounds on this verse:

Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

That's a lot to explain to 11 and 12 year olds, so I'm thankful that the Holy Spirit will be present to speak to their hearts and interpret the Word for them in a way that they can each understand it! After all, He is the one Who takes on the responsibility of making the Word plain!

Photo by Redefining Beautiful

There are a group of girls at a high school in Colleyville, TX (where a Pure In Heart Conference was held last year!), who have taken on the responsibility of redefining beauty by way of a brave, personal statement. Six girls wanted to send a small yet symbolic statement to their peers that girls don't need all the goop and glitter of makeup to be beautiful. So, they had T-shirts made (every great cause has its own T-shirt!) that proclaimed Redefining Beautiful on the front, and One Girl at A Time on the back, and every Tuesday, these six girls arrive at school sans makeup--all because they want people to know that it's okay to do that. It's okay to not do what everyone else does. In just a few weeks time, that half-dozen girls snowballed into over 200! Two hundred fresh-faced, makeup-free gals who are getting a little extra sleep :) and employing the power of sisterhood to just be themselves!

 

Photo by Redefining Beautiful



I didn't start leaving the house without makeup on until I was an adult--really! Something about toddlers and no diapers in the house led to an early morning run to the grocery once and I was cured! LOL! I'm proud of these girls for taking a stand. Incredibly, their story made the national news. They are an oddity. They are rare. They merit the status newsworthy because they are going against the flow and redefining beautiful.

"What you believe about beauty will be determined by where you look." ~Nancy Leigh Demoss

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You Can't Dig Up Culture

Culture Queens

Probably one of the most difficult concepts to explain to 5th- and 6th-graders is culture. When I'm talking to the tweens at the Pure In Heart Conference, one of the things I am trying to get them to understand is that their image of what they consider to be beautiful has been greatly influenced by the culture in which we live.

In our first breakout session this Saturday, I'll be focusing on three specific lies that girls believe. (Btw, if you've ever read Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss or Lies Young Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Dannah Gresh, then you will recognize these lies! Great books, too!)

1. Beautiful girls are worth more.
2. The culture tells me who I'm supposed to be.
3. If my friends like the way I look, then they will like me.

(Yes, obviously, not much has changed in the way of lies since I was a tween! LOL! My friends and I bought it all back then, too.)

Adults frequently toss around the word "culture." Tweens hear us talking about it on the radio, at church, and in all kinds of media. But what is it?

Archaeologists dig up remnants of cultures. They excavate ruins and paw through piles of broken pottery, bones, and other artifacts that tell a story of the culture from one perspective--they reflect it. We can study language, literature, customs, art, and governments of the past, but once again, while these may reflect the culture, they are not culture in and of themselves. The culture is:

What it's like to live here, right now, with these people, in these circumstances.

It can't be dug up.

The culture is something that we carry around with us. It is a part of who we are, and it surrounds us. It can tell us how to think...if we let it.

But whereas the culture tells girls today that they should look and act like a celebrity pop star, God's Word says something very different: Man looks on the outside, but God looks on the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). God's culture, His way of thinking (about ourselves and others) is what we need to carry around with us. His Word, when taken daily, will penetrate our hearts and become a part of us. If we choose to, we can surround ourselves with His Word: memorizing it, reading it, studying it, and thinking about it.

*For a better understanding of the culture we confront, go HERE.

Do you know a 6th - 9th grade girl who would like to study God's Word? Check out my Bible study, Wise Up! Experience the Power of Proverbs.



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Mom's Tip of the Day #95

Boys think pornography is harmless. They have to be convinced and convicted that it is wrong and has damaging effects.

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From Porn Addict to Kiss-Saver: Part Two of the Mom Seriously Interview with Youth Pastor/Speaker Troy Perry

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ABC’s Extreme Makeover Show was in Nashville last week, rebuilding the Lighthouse Christian Preschool, which was destroyed in the Historic Flood back in May. I love a good rescue, don’t you? I love it when people can pitch in on a work of God’s amazing grace, take something that looks like it has no hope, and restore, renew, refinish, rebuild, yes, rescue what was perishing, forgotten, and beyond repair. And to think the Lord does that with hearts and lives! WOW!

Remember Troy Perry, whom you met a few weeks ago in the post entitled, Porn, The Secret Cancer? Well, Troy went from a porn addict to a redeemed life. He was so committed to serving the Lord with purity that he made a decision to save all his future kisses for the bride he believed God would bring him one day. Take a look at the second part of my interview with Troy.

Mom Seriously (MS): How did you go from being an Internet porn addict to saving your kiss?

Mom's Tip of the Day #96

Mom, understand how your adolescent son is wired and the battle he faces every day. Support him prayerfully and practically in his every effort to stand strong against our sexually-charged culture.

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Are Hemlines a Heart Issue?

Tomorrow, I'll be posting Part Two of my interview with Youth Pastor/Speaker Troy Perry. We'll be talking about modesty among other things, but I came across this clip and I just wanted to post it and see what you think about it. Agree? Disagree? Please feel free to leave comments! (If you're subscribing via email and the video doesn't play for you, please come over to MomSeriously.com to view it!)




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Porn, The Secret Cancer: A Mom Seriously Interview with Youth Pastor/Speaker Troy Perry



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Troy Perry with son Noah

Today I'm so pleased to introduce you to Troy Perry, who is our youth pastor at Madison First (yes, my teens are so blessed!) and a youth speaker. Troy is the proud husband of Sara and father to four-year-old Noah. Some of you who have been my readers for a while may remember that Troy and his wife Sara spoke at the very first Pure In Heart Conference , which then included a high school track, back in 2006! Troy is a former porn addict--redeemed by God's Grace! Today he graciously shares a portion of his story with my readers in this exclusive interview. Parents of middle schoolers, please notice that while Troy's initial exposure began at a truly young age, it really picked up speed when he was 13. Are you talking to your kids about this "secret cancer"? Be on the lookout for more from Troy in the weeks to come!

Mom Seriously (MS): When was your first exposure to porn?

Troy Perry (Troy): I remember my dad and granddad watching porn movies. They would tell me to close my eyes during the X-rated scenes, but I would peek through my hands to watch too. So I was exposed to it at a really young age. Then when I was around the age of 13, I remember finding a magazine. I took it and hid it under the mattress.

MS: Troy, as we talk today, we need a working definition of what porn is. How would you define it?

Troy: Porn is anything that would cause a male or female to think about sex. And that is key—it has to be male or female in our definition. It is an addiction that can affect both sexes these days.

MS: So, anything that generates lust?

Troy: Yes, and boys get hooked on pornography easily. Usually, what happens is, a boy finds his dad’s collection of magazines or videos. The problem with guys is that we don’t have to have a lot of product to get hooked on it. We are visual. When we see provocative or sensual images, there is a certain chemical that is released into our minds. Eventually, it takes more and more stimulation to create the secretion of that hormone, so we move on to harder and harder things.

MS: That can all be done with the click of a mouse these days. You can get anything you want online.

Troy: What started in the 60s, when Hustler and Playboy hit the market, has progressed to what we have online today. And with the Internet, you don’t even have to be ashamed.

MS: Mom Seriously readers are going to want some tips and resources—strategies for fighting porn in their homes. What do you recommend?

Troy: I recommend the site XXXChurch.com. Parents get naïve and think, This will not happen to my kid. But we have to approach porn by going on the defensive and saying, Hey, this very well could happen to my kid. You’ve got to be real. Every guy is going to struggle with porn. We have to be vocal about it. The effectiveness of porn comes from the secrecy. When we keep it a secret, it continues to be a cancer.

MS: Troy, your addiction to porn continued even after you became a Christian.

Troy: Yeah, I was a believer, but I was hooked on Internet porn.

MS: Like a lot of people.

Troy: Well, I was trying to quit, but I was trying on my own. Then one day, my girlfriend (at the time) found it on my computer. She was hurt and angry, and I had nothing to say. It was almost a sense of freedom when she found it, because it was no longer a secret. I felt that I was free to go get help. I went to talk to my youth pastor who hooked me up with XXX church.com and software filters. We formed a small accountability group and committed to support each other. I also read Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series) and just ate it up. (It was the first book I ever read all the way through!) From that book, I picked up the tips of bouncing my eyes. Also, since I lived alone, I had friends put restrictions and different passwords on my computer. When you get addicted to that kind of stuff, you can pick your own way of love and you can pick who loves you back. There’s nothing real about it.

MS: Troy, thanks for talking with me today. Readers, do you have a question for Troy? He will be checking my author page on Facebook throughout the day, so if you have something you would like to ask about pornography addiction, please drop by my page and leave your question there for him! You can count on Troy to shoot straight and give you the best answer he possibly can!

Remember: A great Bible study for your coming-of-age son is Dig Deep: Unearthing the Treasures of Solomon's Proverbs. 


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M&M's and A Battle Plan for Purity



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Trying to live a pure life in a filthy world is no easy task--not for us adults, and not for our kids. Talking about purity seems so abstract, especially when it is accompanied by a list of do's and don'ts. Our kids hear our voices all the time. What do they see us living? What does a pure life really look like? And do we really understand what it's like for them?

The MnM's Empathy Crash Course. I promised a battle plan, a I'm getting to that, but I've got a little something to share with you moms to help you understand the appeal of porn and how the world is constantly after your son to have some. (Some of you do understand. But some of you don't.) Okay, do you like chocolate? I mean, are you like me and you really, really like chocolate? Get three packs of MnM's--plain or peanut, whichever is your fave--put one package in your purse. Put one in your cupholder in your car. Put one next to your favorite reading chair. Now, do not eat any of them. Do not even open the packages. Let that candy tempt you, taunt you, yell at you, even scream at you to have some. But don't. Now, just to make it interesting: Give all the other members of your family three packs of MnM's as well (Keep this age-appropriate, of course. I don't recommend giving 3 packs of MnM's to your 4 yo! LOL). Place no restrictions on them.

How long can you make it without opening one of your packs of MnM's?
It would be easier if you didn't keep running into it (purse), seeing it wherever you go (car), dealing with it right in front of you whenever you try to relax (by your favorite chair).
It would be easier if you didn't keep thinking, But there's not anything wrong with it.
It would be easier if the people around you didn't keep eating it in front of you.
It would be easier if everyone else had a problem with it too.

Live with it for at least a week, Mom. Get a real clue of what your son faces on the battlefield. Every time you see that candy and you desire it, pray for your son to be strong in a world filled with pornography and lustful images constantly beckoning for his attention.

Now, a pure life? And how to go about it? Tell your son it looks like this:

• Following God’s teachings (God’s Strategy for Purity is here.)
• Refusing to look at pornography (Job’s Eye Commitment is here. The Psalmist’s is here.)
• Remembering that nothing is ever truly hidden. Satan will tell you that no one will find out. He lies.
• Turning your eyes from girls who are immodestly dressed--on television, in catalogs, at the beach, mall, school, and even at church. Even if she wants you to look at her! (Especially if she wants you to look at her.)
• Protecting the girls around you by checking your flirtatiousness, guarding their hearts, saving your kiss, and reminding yourself that there is only one girl that will be your wife. All the other girls belong to their own future husbands.
• Committing your purity to God, and
• Cooperating with Him to establish a firm resolve that sex is for marriage, and your life belongs to Jesus. And you're good with that. You are content.

Tell your son: You’re not alone in this war, but sometimes it will feel as though you are. Make sure you spend time with the Lord every day. He will expose the schemes of the enemy and provide you with the weapons necessary for victory.

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Taking It A Step Further: God's Definition of Adultery



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One thing I’ve noticed in raising my kids—and in simply living my life—is that the way the world defines certain issues and topics is not the way that God defines them. For example, the dictionary defines adultery as: sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his/her spouse. But God’s Word describes adultery somewhat differently from the dictionary. Taking it one step further, the Jewish Law of the Old Testament calls it: any unlawful sexual intercourse. This would include fornication (sex between unmarried people) as well.

But hold on, don’t stop there. In the New Testament, Jesus, when He was teaching His disciples one day, took the definition yet another step further:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28)

Hmmm. So that means viewing pornography belongs in the definition of adultery, too. Well, that certainly puts a different spin on it. How would your son react if, when you're having one of those important talks with him about life issues, you explained to him that viewing pornography is committing adultery? And that all manner of infidelity (disloyalty, marital unfaithfulness) is the kind of life, King Solomon warned, that leads to death?

It's not just pictures. It is leading him to death.

Does your son know he has an enemy? Have you told him? Do you really understand this yourself?

Satan dresses up sin. He makes sin look attractive and enticing. As moms, we must help our boys understand that the world has targeted their sensual appetites, making everything easily available in order to satisfy them. As they grow into manhood, they have to learn how to access what is just as easily available to them as a child of God: self-control. It is when a man does not control himself that he succumbs to the sensual, and to death.
Death of a family.
Death of a dream.
Death by guilt.
Death by regrets.

Let’s pray together today that our sons won’t be fooled by death dressed up.
And if they are? Well, let's pray too that we will love them unconditionally, that we will not react in fear or anger, that we will do whatever we can to help them be overcomers, and that we will trust God to do the work that only He can do in their hearts.

Check back tomorrow for some real, practical strategies for helping our sons with living a pure life in today’s world. Ladies, we've got to do better than lecture...we've got to show them what it looks like, what it acts like, what it sounds like, and what it thinks like.

(Check out my Bible study for boys, Dig Deep: Unearthing the Treasures of Solomon's Proverbs. The Psalmist noted that the key to living a pure life was in studing God's precepts, or principles. Studying God's Word is life-changing!)



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Refocusing On Your Child's Gifts

Several years ago, after a disappointing baseball season, my son David, then ten, was thinking of giving up the sport he loved. We took a family trip to the Louisville Slugger Museum in Louisville, Kentucky, and spent an afternoon touring the bat factory and adjoining museum filled with memorabilia from Major League Baseball. Freshly inspired, David spent the off season that year training for the coming spring. He created a personal workout program and designed his own weight-training routine. After seeing what he could do and be, David recognized the losing season as a learning experience and resolved to practice more. His hard work paid off the following spring when he helped his team have a winning season and earn the championship.

So, how does a parent know when to allow a child to quit or back off, and when to step in and help a child to simply refocus his efforts? After all, for many children, music and dance lessons, along with participation in sports, have not been merely perceived as activities but as investments.

Doing Hard Things

Hey Everybody,

It is an interesting thing to be in school all morning, break for lunch, and your sons have a message waiting for them to call a local reporter concerning a breaking news story! Enjoy the story below--the FaceBook page the reporter mentions is the one my boys created. (Keep in mind this foray into activism was inspired by the "Do Hard Things" conference we attended exactly one week ago!) When the boys found out the university that owns this station, their favorite radio station, was considering selling, they wanted to do something about it. After all, one of them had already made up his mind to go there in a few years!

Over the past year, the boys had become friends with several of the student DJ's, and they had visited the campus station often. My younger one was learning lots of technical stuff, and it had really whet his appetite for broadcasting. They said, "Mom, we think that this might be one of those "hard things" they were talking about at the conference. We want to do something."

Go, guys--and keep going--even though the decision was not what you hoped for. Do Hard Things!

Weekly Wrap-Up: Why Haven't I Done This Before?

We’re wrapping up our second week of homeschooling in this, my 15th year to teach my children at home (unbelieveable in and of itself—I’m so thankful for God’s amazing grace in allowing me to do this!). Things are a lot different this year, with my oldest preparing to start her freshman year of college next week. I was telling her that in many ways, her college freshman year is easier for me than her high school freshman year was. Four years ago, when she was beginning high school studies, she re-located from our homeschool room to a desk in her bedroom. Our school room was a teensy bit crowded,

Today on Tennessee Mornings: What do you say to your kids when their role models take a fall?

If you're visiting my site today because you saw my segment on Tennessee Mornings, welcome!

When celebrities that our kids are well-acquainted with, like Lindsay Lohan of the great family features like "The Parent Trap," "Freaky Friday," and "Herbie," take a moral fall, we can use the opportunity to talk to our kids about some valuable life lessons. Before you start talking, however, be sure that you are ready to be a good listener who respects your child's thoughts and opinions. You're not going after a time of lecture; you are aiming for a dialogue and an opportunity to have a conversation with your child that takes your relationship deeper.

Ask, What happened to Lindsay? Open up the dialogue by finding out what your child knows or doesn’t know about what’s happened. Summarize the issue briefly: Lindsay abused drugs and alcohol. She got in trouble and was given a certain punishment or set of boundaries by which she had to abide. She continued to make bad choices by ignoring what a judge told her to do and dismissing her punishment. So now, she is going to jail. Remember: It’s critical that you give your child time to talk. Give her room to process the information. Let her talk without thinking about what you’re going to say next, because if you do that, you miss everything she's saying. (And I’ve been so guilty of doing that as a parent—that’s something that I really have to watch about myself.)

How do we turn these current events into a platform for sharing life lessons with our kids when we begin talking? Use this simple acronym: ROLE.

R—Real-Life Choices

O—Owning Your Behavior

L—Living with Consequences

E—Emulating Good Mentors





Have you got a child in middle school? Check out my book, Season of Change: Parenting Your Child with Passion and Purpose. Order today and get free shipping!

BUGS: The (Icky) Badge of Thrill-Seeking Honor

So...on the way home from Family Camp, my boys spent Sunday with friends at an amusement park.  They just got in last night, and this morning, David brings me his favorite T-shirt and, well, here's our conversation.

David: (sweetly) Hey, can you spray 'n wash this?

Me: (surveying the dark speckly-ish stains all across the front of the shirt) Sure...what is this? Blood?

David: (casually) No. Bugs.

Me: (dropping T-shirt on the floor) Eeeewww!

David: (thrilled and smiling proudly at my reaction) We were in the front seats of the Top Thrill Dragster.


What's gross to me is like a badge of thrill-seeking honor to my son! Boys are sooooo different! Summer is a great time to get to know your son better, and it's a great time for him to cultivate his relationship with the Lord. I'd love for you to check out my Bible study just for boys, 7th grade and up, Dig Deep: Unearthing the Treasures of Solomon's Proverbs.

Here's what one mom said about Dig Deep:

My homeschooled son is 14 1/2 and has been working through Dig Deep. He is
halfway through and absolutely loves it. He especially likes how you direct him to God and cover heart issues that a lot of people shy away from.
I also appreciate your straightforward approach and how you guide them to take ownership of their relationship with Christ. It is difficult to find material that will talk about life issues, like sex, without going into full-blown details. Many materials today, although they are Christian, follow the world's view on these difficult teen subjects. Thank you for the conservative but straightforward approach you have taken.

Take advantage of FREE SHIPPING and order your son a copy of Dig Deep today!

A Few of My Favorite Books for Encouraging Parents

Hey Everybody,

There are so many books that have ministered to me--thus far!--along my journey of homeschooling. This list is just a random sampling of the books that have made a difference in my life and, in so many ways, the lives of my children.

The Power of a Praying Wife and The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian.

These books are mainstays of my daily quiet time.

Disciplines of a Beautiful Woman by Anne Ortlund (a favorite author!) -- I read this one over and over in the early years of parenting. Also by this author, Children are Wet Cement. A classic read!

The Shaping of a Christian Family by Elisabeth Elliot. I was a mother of preschoolers when I first read this book, and I learned from Mrs. Elliot that teenagers do not have to be rebellious, nor should the Christian parent expect them to be. That was actually news to me at that time in my life. I stand firmly rooted now, however, on the belief that it is true. :)

Home Grown Kids and Home Style Teaching, by the fabulous duo of Raymond and Dorothy Moore. These grandparents of the homeschool movement were in Nashville for a speaking engagement just as Sandy and I had started homeschooling. We went to their seminar and oh my--we were affirmed, confirmed, and undeniably sold on the value of what we had only just begun in the lives of our children.

Don't Make Me Count to Three and Wise Words for Moms by my dear friend Ginger Plowman. The best, most practical, instructive guide to biblical discipline that I have ever read. The peaceful home for which I had been praying came fully into reality once I started implementing the Word of God as these resources detail.

Age of Opportunity by Paul Tripp. Great book on parenting teens. This one actually inspired my book for parenting tweens, Season of Change!

These are just a few of my picks for encouraging reads!

 

Al and Tipper

Hey Everybody,

You may have heard by now of the news of Al and Tipper Gore's legal separation. No matter which side of the political fence you're on, when a 40-year marriage breaks up, it is devastating, heartbreaking news.

Before Al Gore's stint as VP, he was a Tennessee senator. Can you believe I interviewed Al Gore back in 1988, when I was a college student at MTSU? It was my very first interview. I really had no idea what I was doing. I was the editor of Collage, MTSU's fine arts magazine, and since it was an election year, I wanted to give students the opportunity to write some political essays. I interviewed Gore--he's always been one of Tennessee's favorite sons, and he had just run in the Democratic primary. (The nod for Democratic presidential candidate went to Michael Dukakis that year, and the rest, of course, is in the history books.) I really don't remember much of that interview, except that at the end of it, he told me that he thought I had pretty much covered everything with my questions. LOL! Unfortunately, although I tape recorded the phone interview with him, I later recorded over that interview because I needed the tape for something else. Oh my. Hindsight.

I don't know what happened between Al and Tipper, and I don't need to know, but I do think that when something like this happens, it would benefit us all to remember that our marriages need to be given top priority in our lives. It is all too easy to take one another for granted, or to let the kids (or work) assume that front and center position unnecessarily. My prayers are with the Gores and their family.

Marriage has and always will be harder than it looks.

Top Five Ways to Help Students Stay Safe at School

Hey Everybody,

Missy Jenkins is a modern day hero. As a survivor of the Heath High School 1997 shooting, Missy has given her life to helping troubled kids, serving as a high school counselor and speaking to teens everywhere about her life experience as a victim (she is paralyzed from the waist down) and as a victor. Take a look at today's Top 5: Missy's advice to parents who want to keep their students safe.


1. Ask your kids and their friends questions. It’s the best way to get and stay involved.

2. Keep all firearms properly locked up. Store the key separate from the gun case.

3. Remember the two B’s: Always take bullying and boasting seriously.

4. If you notice any sudden changes in a child or teen’s attitude, do some investigating.

5. Remind students of how to treat each other. Popularity is not remembered; kindness is.