Mom, Do You Listen Well?

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Although talking and texting with their friends comes naturally, as kids enter their adolescent years, talking with their parents can become strained. It seems we moms only get busier as our children grow, so we must train ourselves to become even more intentional about listening. Believe me, you don't want to miss anything they say! Try these three tips to become more purposeful in listening to your middle schooler.

Listen without talking. Middlers are sometimes slow to pull their thoughts together. After all, they are developing mentally, as well! Your child needs a patient listener who does not interrupt or try to rush him through a conversation by speaking for him. My middler knows that I often fall short in this area of listening. I try to keep the words of James 1:19 before me: ...be quick to listen, slow to speak...

• Make eye contact.
• Focus on your child.
• Don't plan how you're going to respond or reply until your child is finished talking.
• To be sure you were listening well, repeat what your child said. Say, "Okay, I heard you say that you wanted to..."

 Listen without fixing it. Often your twelve-year-old just wants to talk through a decision she is making. She does not want you to make it for her. Determine if your child is asking for advice or if she is simply turning to you as a sounding board. How will you know? Just let her keep talking!

• Does your silence lead her to continue reasoning, or is she looking at you expectantly?
• Rather than giving her an answer, ask questions that will lead her to a conclusion of her own. If you make this decision, how will you feel later today? How will you feel about it next month? Who will be affected by your decision?

Listen without distractions. A mom once told me how her son had sent his younger brothers and sisters outside after dinner one night, implying that he would join them soon to play. Instead, he began slowly helping her clear the table and load the dishwasher. It took her a few minutes, but she realized that he was trying to have some one-on-one time with her. He had sent his younger sibs outside so he could have his mom all to himself, knowing he would receive her undivided attention and listening ear.

• Take advantage of drives to sports practices and music lessons by showing your interest in listening to your child.
• Put the cell phone on silent and turn the radio down.
• Plan occasional dates with your growing child.

 The years are few and fleeting. Listen well!

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MTOD: Homeschool Edition #20

Got boys? Keep them active. After periods of sitting, let them go outside and let off some steam. Follow sedentary tasks with a hands-on activity (include not only crafts but also household chores). Boys weren't wired for long periods of physical inactivity. They will be able to focus and respond better to learning when you allow for this.

 
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Porn and Purity: Pictures in the Closet (A Message to Teen Guys)

New to Mom Seriously? Porn and Purity is an ongoing series of unique articles seeking to help parents understand this cultural issue and its impact on our familes. Read all the articles HERE.

When I was a young teen, I got my first job babysitting a six-year-old boy. He wanted to play hide and seek, so he ran to hide while I counted. His hiding place turned out to be the walk-in closet of his mom and dad’s bedroom. I found him there, crouching beside his dad’s shoes, underneath a poster of a nude woman.

Of course, I quickly got him out of the closet, gently asked him not to hide there again, and we resumed our game. Today, remembering that story, I wonder what it was like for that little boy to grow up thinking  pornography was normal. Since his daddy tacked pictures of naked women on the wall of his closet, this child grew up thinking that's what all daddies--and therefore, all men--did. I wonder how the little boy’s mom could walk by that poster day after day as she went to get her own clothes out of the closet. Why didn’t she rip it down? Unless, when she was growing up, her daddy did the same thing, and she thought that was what all daddies did.

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(But all daddies don't do that. And all daddies don't have to do that. All daddies were once like you: young men with choices to make.)

The thing about having a picture hidden in a closet is that God still sees it. The same is true with our minds. We can have thoughts and images taped up in the walls of our minds and think that they are there for our own viewing pleasure--that no one else can see them. But Someone can. He sees everything, and He charges us to keep our thoughts on things above. How do you do that?

Avoid things that cause your mind to think on things below. That requires some self-study and self-examination. Ask God to show you where you’re weak. He will. He wants you to control your thoughts and keep them pure. He’s in this with you.

Have a plan of replacement thoughts. The Bible says to flee when you are tempted. If the tempting thoughts are in your mind, you need some better thoughts to which you can flee. Try these:

• Praying for other people. Keep a list of lost friends or family members in your mind and pray for them when you try to redirect your thoughts.
• Praising God for His many holy characteristics. His faithfulness, goodness, mercy, and grace are worthy of our thoughts and our praise.
• Organizing a service project. Is there a ministry you could be involved in that would fill up your time and therefore your thoughts?
• Memorizing Scripture. God’s Word will take your mind and quickly set it back on things above.

Purity isn’t a line you draw in the sand. It’s a life you live between your ears! Guard your thought closet, and it will pay off in every other area of your life.*

*Today's post excerpted from Dig Deep: Unearthing the Treasures of Solomon's Proverbs. (Pleasant Word, 2006) ©2006 Rebecca Ingram Powell. All rights reserved. May not be used without permission.

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Mom Seriously Interview: Clay Crosse with Advice for Mothers Raising Sons

New to Mom Seriously? Welcome! You'll find tons of great parenting articles, homeschooling encouragement, and every day, a Mom's Tip of the Day. Enjoy!

Click HERE to view all my Porn and Purity articles!

Clay and Renee share their
story in I Surrender All

For Contemporary Christian Music recording artist and Dove Award winner Clay Crosse, his first introduction to pornography was in the fourth grade. (Today, the national average for first-time exposure to porn is eight years old.) Clay and his wife Renee’s ministry, Holy Homes, seeks to help parents set a standard of holiness for their families. In a personal interview with Clay, who records his experience with porn addiction in the book, I Surrender All: Rebuilding a Marriage Broken by Pornography, we talked about how moms can make themselves aware of the extreme temptation pornography presents for their sons, and also, its damaging results.

MomSeriously (MS): Besides the Internet, how else does pornography make its way into our homes?

Clay Crosse (CC): Pornography slips in--through clothing catalogs, commercials, television, even comic books.

MS: What can moms do to help safeguard their boys?

CC: It’s really about a mom being aware, caring that this is potentially coming into a young boy’s life. There are some simple steps: Don’t let TV be the babysitter. No online access in the bedroom or other private, closed off room in the house. And no computer should be without a filter or reporting service to see where your kids are going.

MS: Sometimes moms can feel pretty awkward discussing issues like pornography with their sons. How can moms communicate successfully with their boys when it comes to talking about porn?

CC: Well, it’s important for moms to realize that boys need a dad, or a strong male figure in their life who says, Hey, I get it. I know how you feel and I know how those images make you feel and I know what they do for you. It’s not a foreign thought to me. I understand that. But let me encourage moms to challenge their sons to look at themselves as young Christian men, which means they look at themselves in a different way.

Moms can say, You will feel those lures, but know that God created you this way and offers you this amazing gift that you will enjoy one day with your wife. Until then, you’ve got to focus on Christ and be in His Word and try as best you can to grow in Him. You’ve got to walk this life. There will be times when you will fall, but God loves you so much and He has a great plan for you. And when it comes to sex in your life, it’s an amazing thing He has for you and your wife one day. So you need to be praying for your wife. And moms can help their sons respect the girls who are around them, even if everything about those girls doesn’t seem to be asking for their respect.

MS: What do you mean?

CC: Guys out there are going to have girls all around them, all the time, that are not respectful of themselves. They don’t seem to care about themselves or their bodies. I believe that’s missing out there for guys: a respect factor for girls. Moms need to impart that to their young men, and they can. My mom was the most influential in raising me.

* * * * *

Clay's latest CD release!

Hey readers, do you doubt your influence on your son? Read Clay's words again. The impact of your example along with the power of your prayers for your son must never be discounted.

I was tickled pink when Clay agreed to write the forward for my Bible study for boys, Dig Deep: Unearthing the Treasures of Solomon's Proverbs. If you have a boy 6th - 9th grade, you will want to check it out HERE.

Clay recently released a CD entitled, Everytime I Feel the Spirit: An Americana Collection of Hymns and Such available HERE. Take some time to check out his conference and resource ministry with his beautiful wife Renee at HolyHomes.org!




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Protect Purity When You Downplay Dating

New to Mom Seriously? Welcome! You'll find tons of great parenting articles, homeschooling encouragement, and every day, a Mom's Tip of the Day. Enjoy!

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Much of the confusion Christian parents and teens experience when it comes to dating exists because this modern-day tradition is not mentioned in the Bible. God’s Word was written in a time, at a place, and to a people familiar with betrothal. Arranged marriages and even legal customs were firmly in place to provide for a man and a woman to be linked together to raise a family and to continue a lineage. Interestingly, when a couple’s love story is mentioned in the Bible, the record shows that God actually did drop the right woman right in front of the man who was looking for her.

Adam and Eve. While Adam was sleeping, God formed Eve from one of his ribs, and then He brought her to him.
Isaac and Rebekah. Father Abraham sent his trusted servant in search of a wife for his son, Isaac. Through prayer, completely relying on God, the servant was able to spot Rebekah immediately, and she agreed to be Isaac’s wife, though they had never met!

Your daughter can explore the story
of Ruth in Get Real!

Ruth and Boaz. Ruth was a beautiful young widow, and the Bible suggests that Boaz was quite a bit older than she. Upon her arrival in Bethlehem, she “just happened” to go to work in Boaz’s field. When Ruth let him know that she was willing to be his wife, he said, “God bless you, my dear daughter! What a splendid expression of love! And when you could have had your pick of any of the young men around” (Ruth 3:10, Msg).

When we de-emphasize dating, we are helping our child display a splendid expression of love to his future spouse. The choice to forego dating (as our culture knows it) guards the heart, in order that it may be given fully to the future spouse, with no outstanding emotional ties. It gives kids the chance for real-time relationships, by providing the opportunity to develop lifelong friendships with persons of the opposite sex.

Why waste kisses? Why squander intimacy? Why grieve the Holy Spirit by defiling the body—the temple of God? Wouldn’t it be better if our kids could look back on their teen relationships without regrets but with plenty of fun memories? So how do you do that? Click on the links below!

Prepare your young children with positive imagery.
Provide your tweens with present-day examples.

This article and its links are excerpted from Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose by Rebecca Ingram Powell.

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Weekly Wrap-Up: The Power of a Mentor

New to Mom Seriously? Welcome! You'll find tons of great parenting articles, homeschooling encouragement, and every day, a Mom's Tip of the Day. Enjoy!

Who is your mentor? Can you think of those people who have played "Mr. Miyagi" to your "Daniel"? Maybe it was a beloved high school teacher, a dear friend, or a next-door neighbor who poured their own life--by example and instruction--into your own. Maybe it was your big sister or a beloved aunt. Heaven-sent, they made a difference that will eventually be re-invested into a life you touch one day, and passed on again from there.

When it comes to parenting, we long to be our child's mentors, and when they are little, we definitely are. As they grow, however, especially when they reach their teen years, we have to pursue, pray for, and provide for other folks to step in to those mentoring roles. Coaches, teachers, youth pastors, and other instructors come along who share like interests with your child and who offer them a fresh perspective. They possess the experience and knowledge on subjects that are appealing to our kids--subjects that aren't necessarily "our thing."

(Lto R) Kelli, Josh, and Derek

About a year ago, my son Derek's love for music and radio connected him in a unique way with a local Christian radio station, WNAZ, owned by and housed on the campus of Trevecca Nazarene University. The student deejays there still run call-in contests and take requests when they're on the air, and after Derek won a succession of several contests, he began calling on a daily basis just to talk with the guys. We found out we had a mutual friend with DJ Josh Taylor, then a senior (who also happens to have been homeschooled). Josh invited both my boys, Derek and his older brother David, out to tour the studio and sit in on his shift last December. Yeah, after one visit, Derek was hooked! He returned several times to see Josh and learn more about what it's like to work in radio.

Then just a few months ago, we found out that Trevecca was going to sell the station. My boys became activists, setting up a Facebook page and seeing how the nature of a quiet protest works. (You can read about that HERE.) I'm not sure if Trevecca realized they were losing a potential student when they opted to sell the station LOL, but they did, and Derek's dream of one day being a student DJ on campus at WNAZ was pretty much shot...until he saw this video on Facebook.

Josh and his wife Kelli make the big announcement!

This Saturday, beginning at 1pm CST, Derek will be hosting his own shift at WNAZ! We hope all our Nashville friends and family will be listening (and call in a request, if you'd like!) and for those who live out of the area, the station broadcasts online with live streaming at WNAZ.com.

My thanks to Josh for his willingness to share his gifts, talents, and love for radio with Derek. That's what a mentor does! And when it comes to raising boys today, I am so very thankful for godly young men like Josh who are willing to invest the costliest gift in the next generation: time.



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One Mom's Story: Clicking On Ads Led to Son's Porn Addiction

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New to Mom Seriously? Welcome! You'll find tons of great parenting articles, homeschooling encouragement, and every day, a Mom's Tip of the Day. Enjoy!

Monica* discovered her teen son, Ty*, was viewing pornography on their home computer by accident—his accident. He had been exploring porn sites for some time; he just knew how to cover his tracks. One day, however, he forgot to clear the computer’s history. When she questioned Ty, he first blamed his older brother. After more questioning, however, he confessed. It all began when, as a curious 15-year-old,

After The Talk, Sex Should Be An Ongoing Conversation

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When my kids were just toddlers, I received some great advice from an older mom. She said, “You want to be the first one to tell your children about sex. Then, everything else they hear will be measured against what you said.” My husband had that initial, biological, let’s-define-these-terms talk with each of our boys, and I talked with our daughter. We understood that when Mom or Dad is the first place a child learns about sex, it makes that parent an expert on the subject. It also makes that parent a safe place to go with questions. You see, after The Talk, sex should be an ongoing conversation.

It is ironic that the very facts of life are what seem to interrupt the way our kids live it! Hormones come barging in like an unexpected detour. Suddenly the well-worn path of childhood becomes a super highway of never-ending construction work! One evening a girl puts a tooth under her pillow for the tooth fairy to whisk away. The next morning, she starts her menstrual cycle! A boy who finally figures out his choir solo one week cannot even stay on pitch the next. The physical changes and emotional challenges that confront our kids come at lightning speed. How will they figure it all out?

You are the tour guide. A few years ago, my husband and I were planning a trip to New York City. I was excited about it, but as the date of departure drew closer, I began to panic. We had never been to a really big city. The fear of the unknown was overwhelming to me. How would we figure it all out? Then I remembered that I had a friend from college, Keith, who lived in Manhattan. A quick call was all it took and we had our own personal tour guide! Keith showed us the town—his town! The subways were a cinch to navigate with a seasoned New Yorker at our side. Hailing a cab was a breeze! As a transplanted Tennessean, Keith shared some insider information about New York’s culture and people. (He also acted as translator for all the folks who couldn't understand our southern accents!) Having adjusted well to the big city, he wanted us to see all the things he loved about it.

When it comes to Planet Growing-Up, the fear of the unknown can be overwhelming to your child. Yet you have been there; you know your way around.  Now it's time for you to act as tour guide (and translator!). You can help her feel comfortable in a changing body and a developing mind. You can share information about the people and the culture in this new adult world. Don’t you want her to see all the things you love about it?

Check out my book, Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose loaded with tips and tools for leading your child through the awkward stages of growing up!




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Mom's Tip of the Day #95

Boys think pornography is harmless. They have to be convinced and convicted that it is wrong and has damaging effects.

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From Porn Addict to Kiss-Saver: Part Two of the Mom Seriously Interview with Youth Pastor/Speaker Troy Perry

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ABC’s Extreme Makeover Show was in Nashville last week, rebuilding the Lighthouse Christian Preschool, which was destroyed in the Historic Flood back in May. I love a good rescue, don’t you? I love it when people can pitch in on a work of God’s amazing grace, take something that looks like it has no hope, and restore, renew, refinish, rebuild, yes, rescue what was perishing, forgotten, and beyond repair. And to think the Lord does that with hearts and lives! WOW!

Remember Troy Perry, whom you met a few weeks ago in the post entitled, Porn, The Secret Cancer? Well, Troy went from a porn addict to a redeemed life. He was so committed to serving the Lord with purity that he made a decision to save all his future kisses for the bride he believed God would bring him one day. Take a look at the second part of my interview with Troy.

Mom Seriously (MS): How did you go from being an Internet porn addict to saving your kiss?

Mom's Tip of the Day #96

Mom, understand how your adolescent son is wired and the battle he faces every day. Support him prayerfully and practically in his every effort to stand strong against our sexually-charged culture.

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Porn, The Secret Cancer: A Mom Seriously Interview with Youth Pastor/Speaker Troy Perry



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Troy Perry with son Noah

Today I'm so pleased to introduce you to Troy Perry, who is our youth pastor at Madison First (yes, my teens are so blessed!) and a youth speaker. Troy is the proud husband of Sara and father to four-year-old Noah. Some of you who have been my readers for a while may remember that Troy and his wife Sara spoke at the very first Pure In Heart Conference , which then included a high school track, back in 2006! Troy is a former porn addict--redeemed by God's Grace! Today he graciously shares a portion of his story with my readers in this exclusive interview. Parents of middle schoolers, please notice that while Troy's initial exposure began at a truly young age, it really picked up speed when he was 13. Are you talking to your kids about this "secret cancer"? Be on the lookout for more from Troy in the weeks to come!

Mom Seriously (MS): When was your first exposure to porn?

Troy Perry (Troy): I remember my dad and granddad watching porn movies. They would tell me to close my eyes during the X-rated scenes, but I would peek through my hands to watch too. So I was exposed to it at a really young age. Then when I was around the age of 13, I remember finding a magazine. I took it and hid it under the mattress.

MS: Troy, as we talk today, we need a working definition of what porn is. How would you define it?

Troy: Porn is anything that would cause a male or female to think about sex. And that is key—it has to be male or female in our definition. It is an addiction that can affect both sexes these days.

MS: So, anything that generates lust?

Troy: Yes, and boys get hooked on pornography easily. Usually, what happens is, a boy finds his dad’s collection of magazines or videos. The problem with guys is that we don’t have to have a lot of product to get hooked on it. We are visual. When we see provocative or sensual images, there is a certain chemical that is released into our minds. Eventually, it takes more and more stimulation to create the secretion of that hormone, so we move on to harder and harder things.

MS: That can all be done with the click of a mouse these days. You can get anything you want online.

Troy: What started in the 60s, when Hustler and Playboy hit the market, has progressed to what we have online today. And with the Internet, you don’t even have to be ashamed.

MS: Mom Seriously readers are going to want some tips and resources—strategies for fighting porn in their homes. What do you recommend?

Troy: I recommend the site XXXChurch.com. Parents get naïve and think, This will not happen to my kid. But we have to approach porn by going on the defensive and saying, Hey, this very well could happen to my kid. You’ve got to be real. Every guy is going to struggle with porn. We have to be vocal about it. The effectiveness of porn comes from the secrecy. When we keep it a secret, it continues to be a cancer.

MS: Troy, your addiction to porn continued even after you became a Christian.

Troy: Yeah, I was a believer, but I was hooked on Internet porn.

MS: Like a lot of people.

Troy: Well, I was trying to quit, but I was trying on my own. Then one day, my girlfriend (at the time) found it on my computer. She was hurt and angry, and I had nothing to say. It was almost a sense of freedom when she found it, because it was no longer a secret. I felt that I was free to go get help. I went to talk to my youth pastor who hooked me up with XXX church.com and software filters. We formed a small accountability group and committed to support each other. I also read Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series) and just ate it up. (It was the first book I ever read all the way through!) From that book, I picked up the tips of bouncing my eyes. Also, since I lived alone, I had friends put restrictions and different passwords on my computer. When you get addicted to that kind of stuff, you can pick your own way of love and you can pick who loves you back. There’s nothing real about it.

MS: Troy, thanks for talking with me today. Readers, do you have a question for Troy? He will be checking my author page on Facebook throughout the day, so if you have something you would like to ask about pornography addiction, please drop by my page and leave your question there for him! You can count on Troy to shoot straight and give you the best answer he possibly can!

Remember: A great Bible study for your coming-of-age son is Dig Deep: Unearthing the Treasures of Solomon's Proverbs. 


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M&M's and A Battle Plan for Purity



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Trying to live a pure life in a filthy world is no easy task--not for us adults, and not for our kids. Talking about purity seems so abstract, especially when it is accompanied by a list of do's and don'ts. Our kids hear our voices all the time. What do they see us living? What does a pure life really look like? And do we really understand what it's like for them?

The MnM's Empathy Crash Course. I promised a battle plan, a I'm getting to that, but I've got a little something to share with you moms to help you understand the appeal of porn and how the world is constantly after your son to have some. (Some of you do understand. But some of you don't.) Okay, do you like chocolate? I mean, are you like me and you really, really like chocolate? Get three packs of MnM's--plain or peanut, whichever is your fave--put one package in your purse. Put one in your cupholder in your car. Put one next to your favorite reading chair. Now, do not eat any of them. Do not even open the packages. Let that candy tempt you, taunt you, yell at you, even scream at you to have some. But don't. Now, just to make it interesting: Give all the other members of your family three packs of MnM's as well (Keep this age-appropriate, of course. I don't recommend giving 3 packs of MnM's to your 4 yo! LOL). Place no restrictions on them.

How long can you make it without opening one of your packs of MnM's?
It would be easier if you didn't keep running into it (purse), seeing it wherever you go (car), dealing with it right in front of you whenever you try to relax (by your favorite chair).
It would be easier if you didn't keep thinking, But there's not anything wrong with it.
It would be easier if the people around you didn't keep eating it in front of you.
It would be easier if everyone else had a problem with it too.

Live with it for at least a week, Mom. Get a real clue of what your son faces on the battlefield. Every time you see that candy and you desire it, pray for your son to be strong in a world filled with pornography and lustful images constantly beckoning for his attention.

Now, a pure life? And how to go about it? Tell your son it looks like this:

• Following God’s teachings (God’s Strategy for Purity is here.)
• Refusing to look at pornography (Job’s Eye Commitment is here. The Psalmist’s is here.)
• Remembering that nothing is ever truly hidden. Satan will tell you that no one will find out. He lies.
• Turning your eyes from girls who are immodestly dressed--on television, in catalogs, at the beach, mall, school, and even at church. Even if she wants you to look at her! (Especially if she wants you to look at her.)
• Protecting the girls around you by checking your flirtatiousness, guarding their hearts, saving your kiss, and reminding yourself that there is only one girl that will be your wife. All the other girls belong to their own future husbands.
• Committing your purity to God, and
• Cooperating with Him to establish a firm resolve that sex is for marriage, and your life belongs to Jesus. And you're good with that. You are content.

Tell your son: You’re not alone in this war, but sometimes it will feel as though you are. Make sure you spend time with the Lord every day. He will expose the schemes of the enemy and provide you with the weapons necessary for victory.

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Taking It A Step Further: God's Definition of Adultery



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One thing I’ve noticed in raising my kids—and in simply living my life—is that the way the world defines certain issues and topics is not the way that God defines them. For example, the dictionary defines adultery as: sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his/her spouse. But God’s Word describes adultery somewhat differently from the dictionary. Taking it one step further, the Jewish Law of the Old Testament calls it: any unlawful sexual intercourse. This would include fornication (sex between unmarried people) as well.

But hold on, don’t stop there. In the New Testament, Jesus, when He was teaching His disciples one day, took the definition yet another step further:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28)

Hmmm. So that means viewing pornography belongs in the definition of adultery, too. Well, that certainly puts a different spin on it. How would your son react if, when you're having one of those important talks with him about life issues, you explained to him that viewing pornography is committing adultery? And that all manner of infidelity (disloyalty, marital unfaithfulness) is the kind of life, King Solomon warned, that leads to death?

It's not just pictures. It is leading him to death.

Does your son know he has an enemy? Have you told him? Do you really understand this yourself?

Satan dresses up sin. He makes sin look attractive and enticing. As moms, we must help our boys understand that the world has targeted their sensual appetites, making everything easily available in order to satisfy them. As they grow into manhood, they have to learn how to access what is just as easily available to them as a child of God: self-control. It is when a man does not control himself that he succumbs to the sensual, and to death.
Death of a family.
Death of a dream.
Death by guilt.
Death by regrets.

Let’s pray together today that our sons won’t be fooled by death dressed up.
And if they are? Well, let's pray too that we will love them unconditionally, that we will not react in fear or anger, that we will do whatever we can to help them be overcomers, and that we will trust God to do the work that only He can do in their hearts.

Check back tomorrow for some real, practical strategies for helping our sons with living a pure life in today’s world. Ladies, we've got to do better than lecture...we've got to show them what it looks like, what it acts like, what it sounds like, and what it thinks like.

(Check out my Bible study for boys, Dig Deep: Unearthing the Treasures of Solomon's Proverbs. The Psalmist noted that the key to living a pure life was in studing God's precepts, or principles. Studying God's Word is life-changing!)



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Refocusing On Your Child's Gifts

Several years ago, after a disappointing baseball season, my son David, then ten, was thinking of giving up the sport he loved. We took a family trip to the Louisville Slugger Museum in Louisville, Kentucky, and spent an afternoon touring the bat factory and adjoining museum filled with memorabilia from Major League Baseball. Freshly inspired, David spent the off season that year training for the coming spring. He created a personal workout program and designed his own weight-training routine. After seeing what he could do and be, David recognized the losing season as a learning experience and resolved to practice more. His hard work paid off the following spring when he helped his team have a winning season and earn the championship.

So, how does a parent know when to allow a child to quit or back off, and when to step in and help a child to simply refocus his efforts? After all, for many children, music and dance lessons, along with participation in sports, have not been merely perceived as activities but as investments.

Doing Hard Things

Hey Everybody,

It is an interesting thing to be in school all morning, break for lunch, and your sons have a message waiting for them to call a local reporter concerning a breaking news story! Enjoy the story below--the FaceBook page the reporter mentions is the one my boys created. (Keep in mind this foray into activism was inspired by the "Do Hard Things" conference we attended exactly one week ago!) When the boys found out the university that owns this station, their favorite radio station, was considering selling, they wanted to do something about it. After all, one of them had already made up his mind to go there in a few years!

Over the past year, the boys had become friends with several of the student DJ's, and they had visited the campus station often. My younger one was learning lots of technical stuff, and it had really whet his appetite for broadcasting. They said, "Mom, we think that this might be one of those "hard things" they were talking about at the conference. We want to do something."

Go, guys--and keep going--even though the decision was not what you hoped for. Do Hard Things!

Weekly Wrap-Up: Why Haven't I Done This Before?

We’re wrapping up our second week of homeschooling in this, my 15th year to teach my children at home (unbelieveable in and of itself—I’m so thankful for God’s amazing grace in allowing me to do this!). Things are a lot different this year, with my oldest preparing to start her freshman year of college next week. I was telling her that in many ways, her college freshman year is easier for me than her high school freshman year was. Four years ago, when she was beginning high school studies, she re-located from our homeschool room to a desk in her bedroom. Our school room was a teensy bit crowded,

BUGS: The (Icky) Badge of Thrill-Seeking Honor

So...on the way home from Family Camp, my boys spent Sunday with friends at an amusement park.  They just got in last night, and this morning, David brings me his favorite T-shirt and, well, here's our conversation.

David: (sweetly) Hey, can you spray 'n wash this?

Me: (surveying the dark speckly-ish stains all across the front of the shirt) Sure...what is this? Blood?

David: (casually) No. Bugs.

Me: (dropping T-shirt on the floor) Eeeewww!

David: (thrilled and smiling proudly at my reaction) We were in the front seats of the Top Thrill Dragster.


What's gross to me is like a badge of thrill-seeking honor to my son! Boys are sooooo different! Summer is a great time to get to know your son better, and it's a great time for him to cultivate his relationship with the Lord. I'd love for you to check out my Bible study just for boys, 7th grade and up, Dig Deep: Unearthing the Treasures of Solomon's Proverbs.

Here's what one mom said about Dig Deep:

My homeschooled son is 14 1/2 and has been working through Dig Deep. He is
halfway through and absolutely loves it. He especially likes how you direct him to God and cover heart issues that a lot of people shy away from.
I also appreciate your straightforward approach and how you guide them to take ownership of their relationship with Christ. It is difficult to find material that will talk about life issues, like sex, without going into full-blown details. Many materials today, although they are Christian, follow the world's view on these difficult teen subjects. Thank you for the conservative but straightforward approach you have taken.

Take advantage of FREE SHIPPING and order your son a copy of Dig Deep today!

Protect Purity: Provide Your Tween with Present-Day Examples

Click HERE to view all my Porn and Purity articles!

My family attended a wedding a few years ago where the bride and groom had chosen drastically different dating. Sara and Troy had never kissed each other. They had chosen a higher standard for their dating: purity. The year they spent getting to know each other and each other’s family was also spent diligently guarding each other’s purity, which started by keeping their kisses for after they were married. We had a front row seat for their first kiss! It was the most exciting wedding I have ever been to, and today, they are a beautiful Christian couple—in sync with God and with each other. (You can read more about Sara and Troy's story HERE.)

Sure couples like Sara and Troy are rare, but there does seem to be a grassroots movement, especially among homeschooling families, of radical Christian young people who are devoted to serving God through purity. We attended two more weddings last summer where the couples had saved that first kiss. What an example it was to my teenagers! (And what a lot of boo-hooing for me!) Ask the Lord to bring some godly examples of purity into your son or daughter's life. And pray diligently for the role models they already respect, like their youth pastor, church leaders, and relatives whom they admire and trust.

Check Out the Pure
In Heart Conferences!

There is a war being waged on your middler’s purity. You’ve got to join her in her fight to stay pure! If you choose to discourage dating, then you can encourage a host of other great things: entrepreneurship, volunteerism, and excellence in academics, sports, and the arts. You can also encourage her to embrace a radical mindset that demands more from life than to simply do “what everyone else is doing.”

Learn More:
Protect Purity When You Downplay Dating
Prepare Your Young Children with Positive Imagery

This article and its links are excerpted from Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose by Rebecca Ingram Powell.

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