Upcoming Interview for ParentLife Magazine with...

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I am so blessed to get to interview some really cool people for ParentLife magazine, and I'm really excited about an upcoming interview with--YES--Priscilla Shirer! If you've read any of her books or heard her speak, you know she is just amazing. In addition to her public ministry as a Bible teacher, she's a wife and a mom, parenting three growing boys. If you were me, what would you ask her about her parenting style? About being the only female in a house full of males? About what she's teaching her sons and what she's doing to point them to Christ? I've got plenty of questions of my own, but I'd love your suggestions, too! What would you like to know?


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Porn and Purity: Pictures in the Closet (A Message to Teen Guys)

New to Mom Seriously? Porn and Purity is an ongoing series of unique articles seeking to help parents understand this cultural issue and its impact on our familes. Read all the articles HERE.

When I was a young teen, I got my first job babysitting a six-year-old boy. He wanted to play hide and seek, so he ran to hide while I counted. His hiding place turned out to be the walk-in closet of his mom and dad’s bedroom. I found him there, crouching beside his dad’s shoes, underneath a poster of a nude woman.

Of course, I quickly got him out of the closet, gently asked him not to hide there again, and we resumed our game. Today, remembering that story, I wonder what it was like for that little boy to grow up thinking  pornography was normal. Since his daddy tacked pictures of naked women on the wall of his closet, this child grew up thinking that's what all daddies--and therefore, all men--did. I wonder how the little boy’s mom could walk by that poster day after day as she went to get her own clothes out of the closet. Why didn’t she rip it down? Unless, when she was growing up, her daddy did the same thing, and she thought that was what all daddies did.

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(But all daddies don't do that. And all daddies don't have to do that. All daddies were once like you: young men with choices to make.)

The thing about having a picture hidden in a closet is that God still sees it. The same is true with our minds. We can have thoughts and images taped up in the walls of our minds and think that they are there for our own viewing pleasure--that no one else can see them. But Someone can. He sees everything, and He charges us to keep our thoughts on things above. How do you do that?

Avoid things that cause your mind to think on things below. That requires some self-study and self-examination. Ask God to show you where you’re weak. He will. He wants you to control your thoughts and keep them pure. He’s in this with you.

Have a plan of replacement thoughts. The Bible says to flee when you are tempted. If the tempting thoughts are in your mind, you need some better thoughts to which you can flee. Try these:

• Praying for other people. Keep a list of lost friends or family members in your mind and pray for them when you try to redirect your thoughts.
• Praising God for His many holy characteristics. His faithfulness, goodness, mercy, and grace are worthy of our thoughts and our praise.
• Organizing a service project. Is there a ministry you could be involved in that would fill up your time and therefore your thoughts?
• Memorizing Scripture. God’s Word will take your mind and quickly set it back on things above.

Purity isn’t a line you draw in the sand. It’s a life you live between your ears! Guard your thought closet, and it will pay off in every other area of your life.*

*Today's post excerpted from Dig Deep: Unearthing the Treasures of Solomon's Proverbs. (Pleasant Word, 2006) ©2006 Rebecca Ingram Powell. All rights reserved. May not be used without permission.

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Infield, Outfield, Mission Field

New to Mom Seriously? Welcome! You'll find tons of great parenting articles, homeschooling encouragement, and every day, a Mom's Tip of the Day. Enjoy!

Heading out to the field? The baseball field?

As my sons have grown up playing baseball, I've learned that gorgeous green playing field beckons kids from all walks of life--with all kinds of moms. Approaching this time of year once again, I think back to the many women I've shared these seasons with: single moms, widowed moms, and grandmoms with full parental custody of their grandchildren. Sports moms spend a great deal of time sitting on the sidelines cheering for their kids, and, like women are prone to do, forming relationships with one another. How can you share the love of Christ with the moms sharing the sidelines with you this year?

Get to know the other mothers. Don't be shy! Introduce yourself, and put together a list of names and phone numbers. An easy way to strike up a conversation with any mom is to ask her to tell you about her child.

Arrange carpooling. Find out where other teammates live and see if you can arrange to share rides. Lots of moms need help getting their children to afternoon practice times.

Open your home. My husband grew up in a home where all of his teammates were welcome. His mother would set another place at the table and somehow divide meal portions so there was always enough to go around. A Christian home is a safe haven that God wants you to share with others.

Pray for the team. One season, our team families experienced various crises, including the death of a grandmother, one mom’s broken engagement, and another parent’s major surgery which included a hospital stay. Knowing what was going on in people’s lives gave us the opportunity to pray for these families and share Christ’s love with them through active ministry.

Support the coach. Whether you have the best coach or the worst, trust that God put your child with this person for a reason. Show your support for the coach by submitting to his authority and expertise on the field. Avoid gossip or derogatory remarks about the coach and others who are investing so much of their time and energy on your child.

Different cultures, beliefs, and lifestyles intermingle with the love we share for baseball. Too often, we shy away from others because we are afraid of getting involved or we fear our attempts at friendship will be rejected. However, these are folks with whom you already have a lot in common: You have kids the same age playing on the same team! This is a great opportunity to shed a little light and sprinkle a little salt on those around you. Ask God to open your heart to the other moms and bless the development of new relationships, opening doors to share Christ.

Want more info on sharing Christ? Check out these posts:
Can I Get a Witness? Exploring Open Doors for Sharing the Good News!
Scripture is the Key to Revealing the Truth of Christ
Faith Means Taking a Risk

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Mom Seriously Interview: Clay Crosse with Advice for Mothers Raising Sons

New to Mom Seriously? Welcome! You'll find tons of great parenting articles, homeschooling encouragement, and every day, a Mom's Tip of the Day. Enjoy!

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Clay and Renee share their
story in I Surrender All

For Contemporary Christian Music recording artist and Dove Award winner Clay Crosse, his first introduction to pornography was in the fourth grade. (Today, the national average for first-time exposure to porn is eight years old.) Clay and his wife Renee’s ministry, Holy Homes, seeks to help parents set a standard of holiness for their families. In a personal interview with Clay, who records his experience with porn addiction in the book, I Surrender All: Rebuilding a Marriage Broken by Pornography, we talked about how moms can make themselves aware of the extreme temptation pornography presents for their sons, and also, its damaging results.

MomSeriously (MS): Besides the Internet, how else does pornography make its way into our homes?

Clay Crosse (CC): Pornography slips in--through clothing catalogs, commercials, television, even comic books.

MS: What can moms do to help safeguard their boys?

CC: It’s really about a mom being aware, caring that this is potentially coming into a young boy’s life. There are some simple steps: Don’t let TV be the babysitter. No online access in the bedroom or other private, closed off room in the house. And no computer should be without a filter or reporting service to see where your kids are going.

MS: Sometimes moms can feel pretty awkward discussing issues like pornography with their sons. How can moms communicate successfully with their boys when it comes to talking about porn?

CC: Well, it’s important for moms to realize that boys need a dad, or a strong male figure in their life who says, Hey, I get it. I know how you feel and I know how those images make you feel and I know what they do for you. It’s not a foreign thought to me. I understand that. But let me encourage moms to challenge their sons to look at themselves as young Christian men, which means they look at themselves in a different way.

Moms can say, You will feel those lures, but know that God created you this way and offers you this amazing gift that you will enjoy one day with your wife. Until then, you’ve got to focus on Christ and be in His Word and try as best you can to grow in Him. You’ve got to walk this life. There will be times when you will fall, but God loves you so much and He has a great plan for you. And when it comes to sex in your life, it’s an amazing thing He has for you and your wife one day. So you need to be praying for your wife. And moms can help their sons respect the girls who are around them, even if everything about those girls doesn’t seem to be asking for their respect.

MS: What do you mean?

CC: Guys out there are going to have girls all around them, all the time, that are not respectful of themselves. They don’t seem to care about themselves or their bodies. I believe that’s missing out there for guys: a respect factor for girls. Moms need to impart that to their young men, and they can. My mom was the most influential in raising me.

* * * * *

Clay's latest CD release!

Hey readers, do you doubt your influence on your son? Read Clay's words again. The impact of your example along with the power of your prayers for your son must never be discounted.

I was tickled pink when Clay agreed to write the forward for my Bible study for boys, Dig Deep: Unearthing the Treasures of Solomon's Proverbs. If you have a boy 6th - 9th grade, you will want to check it out HERE.

Clay recently released a CD entitled, Everytime I Feel the Spirit: An Americana Collection of Hymns and Such available HERE. Take some time to check out his conference and resource ministry with his beautiful wife Renee at HolyHomes.org!




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Mom's Tip of the Day #6

You’ve had the “drugs and alcohol” talk with your tween. Don’t forget to have the “pornography” talk. Make it an on-going dialogue.

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Weekly Wrap-Up: The Power of a Mentor

New to Mom Seriously? Welcome! You'll find tons of great parenting articles, homeschooling encouragement, and every day, a Mom's Tip of the Day. Enjoy!

Who is your mentor? Can you think of those people who have played "Mr. Miyagi" to your "Daniel"? Maybe it was a beloved high school teacher, a dear friend, or a next-door neighbor who poured their own life--by example and instruction--into your own. Maybe it was your big sister or a beloved aunt. Heaven-sent, they made a difference that will eventually be re-invested into a life you touch one day, and passed on again from there.

When it comes to parenting, we long to be our child's mentors, and when they are little, we definitely are. As they grow, however, especially when they reach their teen years, we have to pursue, pray for, and provide for other folks to step in to those mentoring roles. Coaches, teachers, youth pastors, and other instructors come along who share like interests with your child and who offer them a fresh perspective. They possess the experience and knowledge on subjects that are appealing to our kids--subjects that aren't necessarily "our thing."

(Lto R) Kelli, Josh, and Derek

About a year ago, my son Derek's love for music and radio connected him in a unique way with a local Christian radio station, WNAZ, owned by and housed on the campus of Trevecca Nazarene University. The student deejays there still run call-in contests and take requests when they're on the air, and after Derek won a succession of several contests, he began calling on a daily basis just to talk with the guys. We found out we had a mutual friend with DJ Josh Taylor, then a senior (who also happens to have been homeschooled). Josh invited both my boys, Derek and his older brother David, out to tour the studio and sit in on his shift last December. Yeah, after one visit, Derek was hooked! He returned several times to see Josh and learn more about what it's like to work in radio.

Then just a few months ago, we found out that Trevecca was going to sell the station. My boys became activists, setting up a Facebook page and seeing how the nature of a quiet protest works. (You can read about that HERE.) I'm not sure if Trevecca realized they were losing a potential student when they opted to sell the station LOL, but they did, and Derek's dream of one day being a student DJ on campus at WNAZ was pretty much shot...until he saw this video on Facebook.

Josh and his wife Kelli make the big announcement!

This Saturday, beginning at 1pm CST, Derek will be hosting his own shift at WNAZ! We hope all our Nashville friends and family will be listening (and call in a request, if you'd like!) and for those who live out of the area, the station broadcasts online with live streaming at WNAZ.com.

My thanks to Josh for his willingness to share his gifts, talents, and love for radio with Derek. That's what a mentor does! And when it comes to raising boys today, I am so very thankful for godly young men like Josh who are willing to invest the costliest gift in the next generation: time.



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One Mom's Story: Clicking On Ads Led to Son's Porn Addiction

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New to Mom Seriously? Welcome! You'll find tons of great parenting articles, homeschooling encouragement, and every day, a Mom's Tip of the Day. Enjoy!

Monica* discovered her teen son, Ty*, was viewing pornography on their home computer by accident—his accident. He had been exploring porn sites for some time; he just knew how to cover his tracks. One day, however, he forgot to clear the computer’s history. When she questioned Ty, he first blamed his older brother. After more questioning, however, he confessed. It all began when, as a curious 15-year-old,

From My Inbox: "My Young Sons were Exposed to Online Porn"

New to Mom Seriously? Porn and Purity is an ongoing series of unique articles seeking to help parents understand this cultural issue and its impact on our familes.

This Porn and Purity post is adapted from an email I received and the answer I shared. My prayer, and that of the mom who wrote to me, is that God will use this information to help and comfort someone today.

My sons, ages seven and five, were innocently exposed to online porn today by an eight-year-old boy in my parents’ neighborhood. My 5-year-old started asking me if it was ok to say the word "sexy" and as I investigated, they led me to the sites they were shown. It was mainly pornographic videos (both hetero and homo) from YouTube. I didn't make them feel guilty; obviously, they were innocent here. My oldest said he felt inside that it might not be right. Praise the Lord for the Holy Spirit’s guidance there. I'm looking forward to being able to teach him how to "listen" to God through this. Any prayers and advice are appreciated.

I think you have already shown great wisdom in how you have handled things so far. I'm very glad you didn't "go off the deep end!" That was the Holy Spirit working in you, as well! And you are so wise in looking at this from the very positive view of being able to use this as a "teachable moment." If we can glean anything redeeming from this, here’s something: Now your boys know that they can come to you. Yes, these conversations are happening before you were "ready," however, now the stage is set for that "ongoing conversation" that will be so beneficial throughout the years.

Our boys are going to be confronted by the demon of porn throughout their lives, and the culture is making it more and more acceptable. As Christian moms, we have our work cut out for us. The conversation with your boys has already started, so just make sure it continues. Be sure your husband is involved, too.

Your sons may not even know how to process what they saw, but as you continue to talk through this with them, capitalize on the fact that the pictures/video/images they saw were wrong. They were not true examples of God's best. I once heard a speaker recommend that parents explain sex this way to a kindergartener: Sex is a special kind of love that husbands and wives share behind the closed door of their bedroom. (That one sentence covers a lot of ground! It is special, it is love, it is for husbands and wives, and it is private.) Tell your boys that God doesn't want people to misuse His special gift of sex, or to watch His gift of sex misused.

Let the boys know that the people who are in those videos are lost, and they don't know God or how wonderful His plan (for both marriage and salvation) is. Let them know by your tone of voice that these are people to feel sorry for--they don't know Jesus, and so they don't understand true love. I think it would be okay to express anger, as well--anger that this kind of thing is out there and so easily accessed, anger that the enemy uses sin to keep people far away from Jesus and His love--but my caution would be that your boys understand that your anger is not directed toward them.

Emphasize to your boys that, as godly young men, they have the responsibility to turn their eyes away from pictures and videos like this. It is wickedness, and it is a great sadness. God grieves over this misuse of His special gift of sex. Let them know this, and pray with them that they would listen when the Holy Spirit in their hearts gives them a warning like He did in this instance. Help them understand that boys who do not have the Holy Spirit (like the neighbor boy) will not be listening for Him, and they are going to do what they want to do and what the enemy tells them to do, not what Jesus wants them to do. There will always be a choice--every time.

Pray, pray, pray that God would be glorified through this experience. Trust Him that through this, you as a parent are going to be even sharper. Be diligent to continue to help your sons (for example, when you are watching TV together. Help them learn to turn the channel and turn their eyes away when scantily-dressed women are on. Even things like Weight Watchers commercials can go too far.) I would also pray about talking to this neighbor boy's parents. I think they need to know. If this boy is looking at porn regularly at eight years old, he is going to need help. As parents we are quick to give the drugs and alcohol talk, but we do not give our boys the porn talk like we should. It is just as addictive and just as destructive. If an 8-year-old had shared drugs or alcohol with your boys, you would tell his parents, right? I think they need to know this, too.

_______________________
Thanks very much to the mom who gave me permission to share her letter. To see all the Porn and Purity articles, go HERE.




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Mom's Tip of the Day #95

Boys think pornography is harmless. They have to be convinced and convicted that it is wrong and has damaging effects.

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From Porn Addict to Kiss-Saver: Part Two of the Mom Seriously Interview with Youth Pastor/Speaker Troy Perry

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ABC’s Extreme Makeover Show was in Nashville last week, rebuilding the Lighthouse Christian Preschool, which was destroyed in the Historic Flood back in May. I love a good rescue, don’t you? I love it when people can pitch in on a work of God’s amazing grace, take something that looks like it has no hope, and restore, renew, refinish, rebuild, yes, rescue what was perishing, forgotten, and beyond repair. And to think the Lord does that with hearts and lives! WOW!

Remember Troy Perry, whom you met a few weeks ago in the post entitled, Porn, The Secret Cancer? Well, Troy went from a porn addict to a redeemed life. He was so committed to serving the Lord with purity that he made a decision to save all his future kisses for the bride he believed God would bring him one day. Take a look at the second part of my interview with Troy.

Mom Seriously (MS): How did you go from being an Internet porn addict to saving your kiss?

Mom's Tip of the Day #96

Mom, understand how your adolescent son is wired and the battle he faces every day. Support him prayerfully and practically in his every effort to stand strong against our sexually-charged culture.

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Porn, The Secret Cancer: A Mom Seriously Interview with Youth Pastor/Speaker Troy Perry



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Troy Perry with son Noah

Today I'm so pleased to introduce you to Troy Perry, who is our youth pastor at Madison First (yes, my teens are so blessed!) and a youth speaker. Troy is the proud husband of Sara and father to four-year-old Noah. Some of you who have been my readers for a while may remember that Troy and his wife Sara spoke at the very first Pure In Heart Conference , which then included a high school track, back in 2006! Troy is a former porn addict--redeemed by God's Grace! Today he graciously shares a portion of his story with my readers in this exclusive interview. Parents of middle schoolers, please notice that while Troy's initial exposure began at a truly young age, it really picked up speed when he was 13. Are you talking to your kids about this "secret cancer"? Be on the lookout for more from Troy in the weeks to come!

Mom Seriously (MS): When was your first exposure to porn?

Troy Perry (Troy): I remember my dad and granddad watching porn movies. They would tell me to close my eyes during the X-rated scenes, but I would peek through my hands to watch too. So I was exposed to it at a really young age. Then when I was around the age of 13, I remember finding a magazine. I took it and hid it under the mattress.

MS: Troy, as we talk today, we need a working definition of what porn is. How would you define it?

Troy: Porn is anything that would cause a male or female to think about sex. And that is key—it has to be male or female in our definition. It is an addiction that can affect both sexes these days.

MS: So, anything that generates lust?

Troy: Yes, and boys get hooked on pornography easily. Usually, what happens is, a boy finds his dad’s collection of magazines or videos. The problem with guys is that we don’t have to have a lot of product to get hooked on it. We are visual. When we see provocative or sensual images, there is a certain chemical that is released into our minds. Eventually, it takes more and more stimulation to create the secretion of that hormone, so we move on to harder and harder things.

MS: That can all be done with the click of a mouse these days. You can get anything you want online.

Troy: What started in the 60s, when Hustler and Playboy hit the market, has progressed to what we have online today. And with the Internet, you don’t even have to be ashamed.

MS: Mom Seriously readers are going to want some tips and resources—strategies for fighting porn in their homes. What do you recommend?

Troy: I recommend the site XXXChurch.com. Parents get naïve and think, This will not happen to my kid. But we have to approach porn by going on the defensive and saying, Hey, this very well could happen to my kid. You’ve got to be real. Every guy is going to struggle with porn. We have to be vocal about it. The effectiveness of porn comes from the secrecy. When we keep it a secret, it continues to be a cancer.

MS: Troy, your addiction to porn continued even after you became a Christian.

Troy: Yeah, I was a believer, but I was hooked on Internet porn.

MS: Like a lot of people.

Troy: Well, I was trying to quit, but I was trying on my own. Then one day, my girlfriend (at the time) found it on my computer. She was hurt and angry, and I had nothing to say. It was almost a sense of freedom when she found it, because it was no longer a secret. I felt that I was free to go get help. I went to talk to my youth pastor who hooked me up with XXX church.com and software filters. We formed a small accountability group and committed to support each other. I also read Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series) and just ate it up. (It was the first book I ever read all the way through!) From that book, I picked up the tips of bouncing my eyes. Also, since I lived alone, I had friends put restrictions and different passwords on my computer. When you get addicted to that kind of stuff, you can pick your own way of love and you can pick who loves you back. There’s nothing real about it.

MS: Troy, thanks for talking with me today. Readers, do you have a question for Troy? He will be checking my author page on Facebook throughout the day, so if you have something you would like to ask about pornography addiction, please drop by my page and leave your question there for him! You can count on Troy to shoot straight and give you the best answer he possibly can!

Remember: A great Bible study for your coming-of-age son is Dig Deep: Unearthing the Treasures of Solomon's Proverbs. 


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M&M's and A Battle Plan for Purity



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Trying to live a pure life in a filthy world is no easy task--not for us adults, and not for our kids. Talking about purity seems so abstract, especially when it is accompanied by a list of do's and don'ts. Our kids hear our voices all the time. What do they see us living? What does a pure life really look like? And do we really understand what it's like for them?

The MnM's Empathy Crash Course. I promised a battle plan, a I'm getting to that, but I've got a little something to share with you moms to help you understand the appeal of porn and how the world is constantly after your son to have some. (Some of you do understand. But some of you don't.) Okay, do you like chocolate? I mean, are you like me and you really, really like chocolate? Get three packs of MnM's--plain or peanut, whichever is your fave--put one package in your purse. Put one in your cupholder in your car. Put one next to your favorite reading chair. Now, do not eat any of them. Do not even open the packages. Let that candy tempt you, taunt you, yell at you, even scream at you to have some. But don't. Now, just to make it interesting: Give all the other members of your family three packs of MnM's as well (Keep this age-appropriate, of course. I don't recommend giving 3 packs of MnM's to your 4 yo! LOL). Place no restrictions on them.

How long can you make it without opening one of your packs of MnM's?
It would be easier if you didn't keep running into it (purse), seeing it wherever you go (car), dealing with it right in front of you whenever you try to relax (by your favorite chair).
It would be easier if you didn't keep thinking, But there's not anything wrong with it.
It would be easier if the people around you didn't keep eating it in front of you.
It would be easier if everyone else had a problem with it too.

Live with it for at least a week, Mom. Get a real clue of what your son faces on the battlefield. Every time you see that candy and you desire it, pray for your son to be strong in a world filled with pornography and lustful images constantly beckoning for his attention.

Now, a pure life? And how to go about it? Tell your son it looks like this:

• Following God’s teachings (God’s Strategy for Purity is here.)
• Refusing to look at pornography (Job’s Eye Commitment is here. The Psalmist’s is here.)
• Remembering that nothing is ever truly hidden. Satan will tell you that no one will find out. He lies.
• Turning your eyes from girls who are immodestly dressed--on television, in catalogs, at the beach, mall, school, and even at church. Even if she wants you to look at her! (Especially if she wants you to look at her.)
• Protecting the girls around you by checking your flirtatiousness, guarding their hearts, saving your kiss, and reminding yourself that there is only one girl that will be your wife. All the other girls belong to their own future husbands.
• Committing your purity to God, and
• Cooperating with Him to establish a firm resolve that sex is for marriage, and your life belongs to Jesus. And you're good with that. You are content.

Tell your son: You’re not alone in this war, but sometimes it will feel as though you are. Make sure you spend time with the Lord every day. He will expose the schemes of the enemy and provide you with the weapons necessary for victory.

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Taking It A Step Further: God's Definition of Adultery



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One thing I’ve noticed in raising my kids—and in simply living my life—is that the way the world defines certain issues and topics is not the way that God defines them. For example, the dictionary defines adultery as: sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his/her spouse. But God’s Word describes adultery somewhat differently from the dictionary. Taking it one step further, the Jewish Law of the Old Testament calls it: any unlawful sexual intercourse. This would include fornication (sex between unmarried people) as well.

But hold on, don’t stop there. In the New Testament, Jesus, when He was teaching His disciples one day, took the definition yet another step further:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28)

Hmmm. So that means viewing pornography belongs in the definition of adultery, too. Well, that certainly puts a different spin on it. How would your son react if, when you're having one of those important talks with him about life issues, you explained to him that viewing pornography is committing adultery? And that all manner of infidelity (disloyalty, marital unfaithfulness) is the kind of life, King Solomon warned, that leads to death?

It's not just pictures. It is leading him to death.

Does your son know he has an enemy? Have you told him? Do you really understand this yourself?

Satan dresses up sin. He makes sin look attractive and enticing. As moms, we must help our boys understand that the world has targeted their sensual appetites, making everything easily available in order to satisfy them. As they grow into manhood, they have to learn how to access what is just as easily available to them as a child of God: self-control. It is when a man does not control himself that he succumbs to the sensual, and to death.
Death of a family.
Death of a dream.
Death by guilt.
Death by regrets.

Let’s pray together today that our sons won’t be fooled by death dressed up.
And if they are? Well, let's pray too that we will love them unconditionally, that we will not react in fear or anger, that we will do whatever we can to help them be overcomers, and that we will trust God to do the work that only He can do in their hearts.

Check back tomorrow for some real, practical strategies for helping our sons with living a pure life in today’s world. Ladies, we've got to do better than lecture...we've got to show them what it looks like, what it acts like, what it sounds like, and what it thinks like.

(Check out my Bible study for boys, Dig Deep: Unearthing the Treasures of Solomon's Proverbs. The Psalmist noted that the key to living a pure life was in studing God's precepts, or principles. Studying God's Word is life-changing!)



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Refocusing On Your Child's Gifts

Several years ago, after a disappointing baseball season, my son David, then ten, was thinking of giving up the sport he loved. We took a family trip to the Louisville Slugger Museum in Louisville, Kentucky, and spent an afternoon touring the bat factory and adjoining museum filled with memorabilia from Major League Baseball. Freshly inspired, David spent the off season that year training for the coming spring. He created a personal workout program and designed his own weight-training routine. After seeing what he could do and be, David recognized the losing season as a learning experience and resolved to practice more. His hard work paid off the following spring when he helped his team have a winning season and earn the championship.

So, how does a parent know when to allow a child to quit or back off, and when to step in and help a child to simply refocus his efforts? After all, for many children, music and dance lessons, along with participation in sports, have not been merely perceived as activities but as investments.

Doing Hard Things

Hey Everybody,

It is an interesting thing to be in school all morning, break for lunch, and your sons have a message waiting for them to call a local reporter concerning a breaking news story! Enjoy the story below--the FaceBook page the reporter mentions is the one my boys created. (Keep in mind this foray into activism was inspired by the "Do Hard Things" conference we attended exactly one week ago!) When the boys found out the university that owns this station, their favorite radio station, was considering selling, they wanted to do something about it. After all, one of them had already made up his mind to go there in a few years!

Over the past year, the boys had become friends with several of the student DJ's, and they had visited the campus station often. My younger one was learning lots of technical stuff, and it had really whet his appetite for broadcasting. They said, "Mom, we think that this might be one of those "hard things" they were talking about at the conference. We want to do something."

Go, guys--and keep going--even though the decision was not what you hoped for. Do Hard Things!

Weekly Wrap-Up: Why Haven't I Done This Before?

We’re wrapping up our second week of homeschooling in this, my 15th year to teach my children at home (unbelieveable in and of itself—I’m so thankful for God’s amazing grace in allowing me to do this!). Things are a lot different this year, with my oldest preparing to start her freshman year of college next week. I was telling her that in many ways, her college freshman year is easier for me than her high school freshman year was. Four years ago, when she was beginning high school studies, she re-located from our homeschool room to a desk in her bedroom. Our school room was a teensy bit crowded,

BUGS: The (Icky) Badge of Thrill-Seeking Honor

So...on the way home from Family Camp, my boys spent Sunday with friends at an amusement park.  They just got in last night, and this morning, David brings me his favorite T-shirt and, well, here's our conversation.

David: (sweetly) Hey, can you spray 'n wash this?

Me: (surveying the dark speckly-ish stains all across the front of the shirt) Sure...what is this? Blood?

David: (casually) No. Bugs.

Me: (dropping T-shirt on the floor) Eeeewww!

David: (thrilled and smiling proudly at my reaction) We were in the front seats of the Top Thrill Dragster.


What's gross to me is like a badge of thrill-seeking honor to my son! Boys are sooooo different! Summer is a great time to get to know your son better, and it's a great time for him to cultivate his relationship with the Lord. I'd love for you to check out my Bible study just for boys, 7th grade and up, Dig Deep: Unearthing the Treasures of Solomon's Proverbs.

Here's what one mom said about Dig Deep:

My homeschooled son is 14 1/2 and has been working through Dig Deep. He is
halfway through and absolutely loves it. He especially likes how you direct him to God and cover heart issues that a lot of people shy away from.
I also appreciate your straightforward approach and how you guide them to take ownership of their relationship with Christ. It is difficult to find material that will talk about life issues, like sex, without going into full-blown details. Many materials today, although they are Christian, follow the world's view on these difficult teen subjects. Thank you for the conservative but straightforward approach you have taken.

Take advantage of FREE SHIPPING and order your son a copy of Dig Deep today!