Porn, The Secret Cancer: A Mom Seriously Interview with Youth Pastor/Speaker Troy Perry



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Troy Perry with son Noah

Today I'm so pleased to introduce you to Troy Perry, who is our youth pastor at Madison First (yes, my teens are so blessed!) and a youth speaker. Troy is the proud husband of Sara and father to four-year-old Noah. Some of you who have been my readers for a while may remember that Troy and his wife Sara spoke at the very first Pure In Heart Conference , which then included a high school track, back in 2006! Troy is a former porn addict--redeemed by God's Grace! Today he graciously shares a portion of his story with my readers in this exclusive interview. Parents of middle schoolers, please notice that while Troy's initial exposure began at a truly young age, it really picked up speed when he was 13. Are you talking to your kids about this "secret cancer"? Be on the lookout for more from Troy in the weeks to come!

Mom Seriously (MS): When was your first exposure to porn?

Troy Perry (Troy): I remember my dad and granddad watching porn movies. They would tell me to close my eyes during the X-rated scenes, but I would peek through my hands to watch too. So I was exposed to it at a really young age. Then when I was around the age of 13, I remember finding a magazine. I took it and hid it under the mattress.

MS: Troy, as we talk today, we need a working definition of what porn is. How would you define it?

Troy: Porn is anything that would cause a male or female to think about sex. And that is key—it has to be male or female in our definition. It is an addiction that can affect both sexes these days.

MS: So, anything that generates lust?

Troy: Yes, and boys get hooked on pornography easily. Usually, what happens is, a boy finds his dad’s collection of magazines or videos. The problem with guys is that we don’t have to have a lot of product to get hooked on it. We are visual. When we see provocative or sensual images, there is a certain chemical that is released into our minds. Eventually, it takes more and more stimulation to create the secretion of that hormone, so we move on to harder and harder things.

MS: That can all be done with the click of a mouse these days. You can get anything you want online.

Troy: What started in the 60s, when Hustler and Playboy hit the market, has progressed to what we have online today. And with the Internet, you don’t even have to be ashamed.

MS: Mom Seriously readers are going to want some tips and resources—strategies for fighting porn in their homes. What do you recommend?

Troy: I recommend the site XXXChurch.com. Parents get naïve and think, This will not happen to my kid. But we have to approach porn by going on the defensive and saying, Hey, this very well could happen to my kid. You’ve got to be real. Every guy is going to struggle with porn. We have to be vocal about it. The effectiveness of porn comes from the secrecy. When we keep it a secret, it continues to be a cancer.

MS: Troy, your addiction to porn continued even after you became a Christian.

Troy: Yeah, I was a believer, but I was hooked on Internet porn.

MS: Like a lot of people.

Troy: Well, I was trying to quit, but I was trying on my own. Then one day, my girlfriend (at the time) found it on my computer. She was hurt and angry, and I had nothing to say. It was almost a sense of freedom when she found it, because it was no longer a secret. I felt that I was free to go get help. I went to talk to my youth pastor who hooked me up with XXX church.com and software filters. We formed a small accountability group and committed to support each other. I also read Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series) and just ate it up. (It was the first book I ever read all the way through!) From that book, I picked up the tips of bouncing my eyes. Also, since I lived alone, I had friends put restrictions and different passwords on my computer. When you get addicted to that kind of stuff, you can pick your own way of love and you can pick who loves you back. There’s nothing real about it.

MS: Troy, thanks for talking with me today. Readers, do you have a question for Troy? He will be checking my author page on Facebook throughout the day, so if you have something you would like to ask about pornography addiction, please drop by my page and leave your question there for him! You can count on Troy to shoot straight and give you the best answer he possibly can!

Remember: A great Bible study for your coming-of-age son is Dig Deep: Unearthing the Treasures of Solomon's Proverbs. 


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