Upcoming Pure In Heart Conferences

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Exciting news: We have two more Pure In Heart Conference events scheduled for this year, coming up in October and November. If you live in the southeast and you've been waiting for a Pure In Heart Conference to come to your area, here's your chance!

OCTOBER 1, 2011 -- RICHMOND, KENTUCKY

NOVEMBER 12, 2011 -- CLEVELAND, TENNESSEE

If you are thinking about going, register now. These conferences are sell-outs, and there is limited seating.



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Follow Me On Twitter for Updates from the Pure In Heart Conference!

It's here! The Pure In Heart Conference happens tomorrow at the Trinity Baptist Church in Lake Charles, Louisiana!

And guess what? We have two more conferences scheduled for this fall! Perhaps one of them is near you! I hope so! I will be releasing the details of our upcoming conferences very soon!

This weekend, I'll be updating my Twitter just as often as possible. Danya is really good about updating her Twitter account too. Check in with us from time to time and see what is going on. I'll be tweeting prayer requests, too, and it would be great to know that I have your prayer support. We are going into enemy territory, you know, and going in on our knees is the very best strategy.

Thanks, everyone! Have a great weekend!


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Countdown to the Pure In Heart Conference in Lake Charles, LA!

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The countdown is on!

Five days from today, Danya and I will be at the Pure In Heart Conference in Lake Charles, LA! I so hope that I get to see some of you there!

There's so much to look forward to: Danya and I love the special time that we spend with the 11-12 year girls in our breakout sessions. The DANYA band will be leading worship, terrific keynote speakers are gearing up for the time they'll be spending with moms, grandmoms, and mentors, and--oh! It is such a watermark day that moms get to spend with their daughters as they take solid, steady steps in preparing their hearts to live wisely in a culture laden with foolishness. Sound good?

Today I'm posting several links that will give you more info about what we talk about with the girls at the Pure In Heart Conference.

Talking About Girls, Friends, and Accountability -- Accountability has become somewhat of a buzzword among Christians, especially among men’s and women’s small groups. If we are not careful, our children will get the impression that accountability is an adult thing, when it is really a Christian thing. (Read More)

You Can't Dig Up Culture -- Probably one of the most difficult concepts to explain to 5th- and 6th-graders is culture. When I'm talking to the tweens at the Pure In Heart Conference, one of the things I am trying to get them to understand is that their image of what they consider to be beautiful has been greatly influenced by the culture in which we live. (Read more)

Redefine Beautiful -- One of the lies prevalent in our girls' everyday culture is this one: If my friends like the way I look, then they will like me. (Read More)


If you're interested in bringing the Pure In Heart conference to your area, please contact us. You can read more about the conference at the official website.





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Imagine a World Where Purity is Preferred

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What a great weekend I got to spend visiting with children's ministry leaders from across the state of Kentucky! My friend Susan Henson, author and founder of the Pure In Heart Conference ministry, spoke to children's directors and leaders on the importance of equipping children and parents with teaching focused on purity. The statistics she shared with these leaders were heart-breaking.

• Statistics show that approximately 46% of teens 15-19 years of age have had sex at least once.
• The majority (59%) of sexually experienced teen females had a first sexual partner who was 1-3 years their senior.
• In one study, 12% of 12-year-olds had engaged in sexual intercourse, and nearly 30% in some type of sexual activity. (Study: Middle school youth are engaging in sexual intercourse as early as age 12, according to a study by researchers at The University of Texas School of Public Health)

There is a tremendous need for laying a biblical foundation of purity in the hearts of our very young children. They need to hear it from us, as parents and church leaders, before they hear what the world has to say about purity. That's why the Pure In Heart Conference is geared for moms/grandmoms/mentors and girls ages 7 to 12. We talk to the girls about specific cultural lies that will sneak up and grab them by the throat--and for the older girls, especially, they've heard those lies already, and they've bought into them. We go in like Nehemiah and begin re-building the wall of God-centered thinking, re-claiming those tender hearts for the Lover of their souls, Christ Jesus! We have a lot of fun with the girls, just talking about the fact that love, real love, comes from a pure heart (a heart that is undivided, sold out to Jesus), a clear conscience (living as unto Him, with a focused effort on positive, healthy relationships with friends and siblings), and a sincere faith (a faith that really looks like love in action!)

While the girls are in their break-out sessions, mothers and mentors are getting some girl talk of their own, with powerful speakers who don't mince words when it comes to getting over a broken past in order to present your daughter with an intact future. They talk about the hard stuff: forgiving yourself; being determined to stand up against a raging, sin-sick culture; and receiving the true worth and value that Christ offers.

And that's why, everywhere the conference has been held, it has sold out--with literally hundreds left on a waiting list.

We're coming to Trinity Baptist Church in Lake Charles, LA, in just a few weeks. What would it take to get you and your daughter there? What mountains must be moved for you to attend? Consider yourself most cordially invited! I would love to see you there!


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My Pure In Heart Pictures

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Better late than never...here are a few of my pics from the Pure In Heart Conference in Tampa, FL!

That gorgeous castle is the backdrop for the keynote speakers in the main sessions. It is definitely "ooohh" and "awwwww" worthy! Who's that behind the keyboard? My favorite princess!

Several of our teen volunteers for the 11-12 year old group! They were great!

• You can see lots more photos on the Pure In Heart Facebook page!
• Read more about Pure In Heart Conference and watch a video when you go HERE.
• Pure In Heart Founder Susan Henson wants moms to understand the culture their daughters confront. Read that post HERE.

  

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Pure In Heart is on Facebook!

What a great weekend!

We had such a blast at the Pure In Heart Conference Saturday! It is so hard to describe everything that goes on and just the atmosphere at the conference--it is so unlike anything else! One mom I met kept saying, "I just didn't know, I didn't know--I didn't know what this day would bring!" I think that she, like a lot of the moms there, really didn't expect to meet God the way she did at this event. Moms go for their girls. They go wanting their daughters to get a divine perspective on life, love, and the LORD. And what they don't expect is how God has plans for them to meet Him in new ways. They are surprised by His love and concern for them--for the moms. They are freshly taken aback by His nearness, His tenderness, His "I'm-still-right-here-ness." Isn't He so good like that? :)

Danya and I just loved our teen volunteers! At every conference, we have had the privilege of learning a few of their stories, and it never fails to move me. I'm thankful for all those teens who gave up their Saturday to be the extra hands and feet--and hearts--that we need for our PIH girls.

Want to see people's comments and pics of last weekend's Pure In Heart Conference? Check out the FB page HERE.


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Hoping You Get Caught!

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One of the best things about the Pure In Heart Conference is that I get to serve alongside my daughter Danya. We make a pretty good team! A few years ago, Danya served as a contributing author for the Bible study I wrote on the book of Ruth: Get Real! Embrace the Reality of Ruth.   Today I'm sharing an excerpt she wrote for Get Real!  (This was written when she was 15 years old.)

Caught

Have you ever broken something made of glass? Glass is strong, but once something hits it, it shatters into a million pieces. I dropped a glass cup once while unloading the dishwasher, and it broke into several pieces. Now, imagine a glass jar sitting on top of a refrigerator, filled to the brim with

Love Is A Feeling? Not Always

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One of the biggest lies in our culture today is this one: Love is a feeling. We'll be talking about this briefly at the Pure In Heart Conference on Saturday, and in our do-what-feels-right world, this particular deception is pretty hard to crack. After 22+ years of marriage, however, I have learned that while love the emotion can be a roller coaster ride, love the action will keep a relationship on track.

In truth, the picture of love that our kids see expressed in our marriages is the one that will reign as the standard for their lives. It's like a measuring stick. Every male-female relationship they see will

Redefine Beautiful

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One of the lies prevalent in our girls' everyday culture is this one: If my friends like the way I look, then they will like me.

This lie is kind of tricky to explain because, unfortunately, there are some people who will like you just because they like the way you look. This lie hinges on the word "friends." Real friends are going to be there when you look your best and when you are simply not having a good hair day. :) And even the most gorgeous person can't be guaranteed the blessing of real friends because it is not just about the way you look! It's about your heart.

At the Pure In Heart Conference this Saturday, I'll be talking about that lie, and I will be countering it with the weapon of God's Word! The verse I will be using is one of my favorites, Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2). I like the way the Amplified Bible expounds on this verse:

Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

That's a lot to explain to 11 and 12 year olds, so I'm thankful that the Holy Spirit will be present to speak to their hearts and interpret the Word for them in a way that they can each understand it! After all, He is the one Who takes on the responsibility of making the Word plain!

Photo by Redefining Beautiful

There are a group of girls at a high school in Colleyville, TX (where a Pure In Heart Conference was held last year!), who have taken on the responsibility of redefining beauty by way of a brave, personal statement. Six girls wanted to send a small yet symbolic statement to their peers that girls don't need all the goop and glitter of makeup to be beautiful. So, they had T-shirts made (every great cause has its own T-shirt!) that proclaimed Redefining Beautiful on the front, and One Girl at A Time on the back, and every Tuesday, these six girls arrive at school sans makeup--all because they want people to know that it's okay to do that. It's okay to not do what everyone else does. In just a few weeks time, that half-dozen girls snowballed into over 200! Two hundred fresh-faced, makeup-free gals who are getting a little extra sleep :) and employing the power of sisterhood to just be themselves!

 

Photo by Redefining Beautiful



I didn't start leaving the house without makeup on until I was an adult--really! Something about toddlers and no diapers in the house led to an early morning run to the grocery once and I was cured! LOL! I'm proud of these girls for taking a stand. Incredibly, their story made the national news. They are an oddity. They are rare. They merit the status newsworthy because they are going against the flow and redefining beautiful.

"What you believe about beauty will be determined by where you look." ~Nancy Leigh Demoss

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InHAIRited: What's Your Legacy?

I'm wondering if we should just do an entire breakout session for the girls (and the women, too!) at the next Pure In Heart on a subject with which we all struggle: HAIR.

Hair brings one's self-image into focus; it is vanity's proving ground. Hair is terribly personal, a tangle of mysterious prejudices. ~Shana Alexander

Years ago, before kids, Rich and I were part of a church we loved in Charlotte, NC. When we joined, the church was seeking a pastor, and when they brought in a guy for the church to consider, I had a few issues. (Please don't be too hard on me. I was used to my daddy being my pastor for my whole life. Is there a preacher's kid (PK) support group somewhere? It is hard to be an adult church member when you have always been a PK!) This guy had the whole I'm-balding-so-in-a-clever-only-to-me-attempt-to-disguise-it-I-will-do-a-combover thing going on, and I remarked to Rich, "I'm not sure about him. He is evidently a little too preoccupied with his hair."

And Rich, without skipping a beat, said, "This coming from a woman who is absolutely psycho about her hair?"

Psycho? Really? We'd only been married a few years, and he felt like he could make that kind of judgment about me?

Well, yeah, okay, I totally am. But I'm a girl!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't I get a pass or something? :)

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like. ~Author Unknown

One thing I never wanted to do, however, was pass on my hair craziness to Danya. Her hair is just like mine. When she was around four or five years old, I was spinning the merits of curly hair to her one day, and I said, "Oh Danya, your curls frame your face just like a picture! God only frames the most beautiful faces with curly hair!" (Please excuse my theology on that one--I was in my twenties! LOL)

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!

I didn't know that David, who was about two at the time, had been listening, and he piped up with, "I want to have a frame!"

To which I replied, "Honey, frames are just for girls." :)

I always wanted hair like Marcia Brady's. The complete opposite of mine, hers was blond and straight as a stick. (You think she wished for curls her whole life? LOL!) But I wonder how hard it would be for us to honor our hair for the sake of our daughters. Just whatever you've got, consider it your frame, your crowning glory as a daughter of the King. Truthfully, you set the tone on whether your daughter inherits a healthy attitude about her hair, or if she fusses and frets with it all her life.

The hair is the richest ornament of women. ~Martin Luther

Is there anyone who hasn't had hair issues? Anyone who hasn't, at some point, been preoccupied with her hair? Here's how to help your daughter through some of her own harried days:

• Compliment her often on having a "great hair day!"
• Let her experiment in age-appropriate ways with new styles (and teenagers, with different colors. It will grow out!)
• Remember that she is not you, and she needs to do her own thing, okay? 
• Hair styling products are the greatest thing since sliced bread. Adopt the philosophy: The More, The Merrier! :)

I know y'all have got some hair stories, too. Please share: What have you inHAIRited? And what do you want your legacy to be?

  

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Talking About Girls, Friends, and Accountability

I'll be tackling several components of friendship at the Pure In Heart Conference in Tampa (ten days away!). One of those has to do with accountability. Below is an excerpt from my book, Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose.

Accountability has become somewhat of a buzzword among Christians, especially among men’s and women’s small groups. If we are not careful, our children will get the impression that accountability is an adult thing, when it is really a Christian thing.

Accountability simply means to be held answerable for accomplishing a goal, completing a task, or even behaving in a certain way. In our Christian circles, it can mean that one is held responsible for the knowledge she has gained. For example, if your pastor preaches on tithing one Sunday morning, you are then accountable to act like a person who has learned about tithing. Having learned what God’s Word says about that financial principle, you are expected to act on it. As a Christian, you are accountable to apply those biblical truths to your life.

In the same way, our kids need to understand that in close Christian friendships, accountability has the right to ask questions:
Why did you do that?

Accountability has the permission to confront:
Dude, she is your sister! Don’t treat her that way!

Accountability has the privilege to probe:
Why don’t you like playing with your little brother? He just wants to hang around us.

Accountability in a friendship must exist to tackle the hard questions as both people are called higher in relationship with Christ.

As children grow into middlers, they will be approaching their friends more and more with their various problems and life issues. This doesn’t mean that they won’t be coming to you, Mom! It just means they will also be turning to their friends. They need to be choosing friends who can provide them with trustworthy counsel and good, solid advice.

Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose (2008, Tate Publishing) is available as a book, e-book, audio book, and on Kindle. Click HERE for all your purchase options!


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You Can't Dig Up Culture

Culture Queens

Probably one of the most difficult concepts to explain to 5th- and 6th-graders is culture. When I'm talking to the tweens at the Pure In Heart Conference, one of the things I am trying to get them to understand is that their image of what they consider to be beautiful has been greatly influenced by the culture in which we live.

In our first breakout session this Saturday, I'll be focusing on three specific lies that girls believe. (Btw, if you've ever read Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss or Lies Young Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Dannah Gresh, then you will recognize these lies! Great books, too!)

1. Beautiful girls are worth more.
2. The culture tells me who I'm supposed to be.
3. If my friends like the way I look, then they will like me.

(Yes, obviously, not much has changed in the way of lies since I was a tween! LOL! My friends and I bought it all back then, too.)

Adults frequently toss around the word "culture." Tweens hear us talking about it on the radio, at church, and in all kinds of media. But what is it?

Archaeologists dig up remnants of cultures. They excavate ruins and paw through piles of broken pottery, bones, and other artifacts that tell a story of the culture from one perspective--they reflect it. We can study language, literature, customs, art, and governments of the past, but once again, while these may reflect the culture, they are not culture in and of themselves. The culture is:

What it's like to live here, right now, with these people, in these circumstances.

It can't be dug up.

The culture is something that we carry around with us. It is a part of who we are, and it surrounds us. It can tell us how to think...if we let it.

But whereas the culture tells girls today that they should look and act like a celebrity pop star, God's Word says something very different: Man looks on the outside, but God looks on the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). God's culture, His way of thinking (about ourselves and others) is what we need to carry around with us. His Word, when taken daily, will penetrate our hearts and become a part of us. If we choose to, we can surround ourselves with His Word: memorizing it, reading it, studying it, and thinking about it.

*For a better understanding of the culture we confront, go HERE.

Do you know a 6th - 9th grade girl who would like to study God's Word? Check out my Bible study, Wise Up! Experience the Power of Proverbs.



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Praying for Girls: Before It's Too Late

A few years ago, I was preparing to lead a high school girls' conference in Louisiana. I had asked the conference coordinator to send me a list of the names of the girls who had registered, so that I could pray over them. As I was going down the list, I came to one name--Shawna*--and I just began to weep. I had never had an experience like this before; I was literally sobbing over this girl, and I had no idea why. I asked the Lord, "What's up with this girl, Lord? Why am I crying over Shawna?" The more I prayed, the more burdened I became. Deep in my heart, I was convinced that this young woman's purity was at stake--her heart, her emotions, her future, and everything else that a girl lays down at the altar of pursuing a premature relationship with a guy who does not have her best as his priority.

On conference day, there were over 50 girls there, and as I made my way through the crowd, I was scanning every girl's nametag for Shawna. I couldn't find her. At the end of the day, the event coordinator wanted to anoint and pray over every girl who was there, one at a time. Since these were her girls, and it was her event, I moved aside to let her do this. She was spending at least ten minutes with each one of the girls, praying, admonishing, and encouraging each one as she anointed and blessed them. After about an hour, another adult leader came to me and said, "You've got to help her--she will pass out before she gets finished!" Well, I don't mind telling you that at that time, I was a little out of my element with the anointing oil and all (Did I mention that I am Baptist??? LOL), but I went to take my place at the front as the leaders shuffled the girls around to form a second prayer line. They handed me several viles of oil and parked an assistant by my side, and as I began, I looked down into the first beautiful face in the line and read her nametag: Shawna.

Yeah. Shawna.

I grabbed her by both shoulders and said (as the tears began to fall) "Shawna--I have wept over you for two weeks! Do you know why?"

And then it all came out: a crush on an older guy...a relationship she was unsure about...the strange feeling she had inside that something wasn't right...but it wasn't too late!!! Oh, praise the LORD--it wasn't too late for Shawna! We prayed and we cried and we hugged and we did, indeed, rejoice. And when I saw her the next day, she had ended it--breaking all ties and getting herself out of the relationship.

Coming up in just two weeks is the Pure In Heart Conference, which is all about capturing the hearts of tweens for the Lord Jesus Christ--before it is too late.

Before they are teenagers in full bloom.
Before they make decisions that could their lives up.
Before a lot of things.

The conference is sold out and with good reason! This event is planned, produced, and fervently prayed over, with the purposeful intention of:

• Bringing moms and tween daughters together (and grandmoms, too)
• Bringing a tween generation to God
• Bringing an adult generation back to (or closer to) God

Do you think the enemy likes this? You're right--he doesn't like it at all!

Here at Mom Seriously, I'm going to spend some time over the next two weeks talking about the conference, filling you in on what I'll be talking to the 11- and 12-year-old girls about, and also asking you to be in prayer for this event and everyone who is a part of it. Will you join me at the throne of God's Mercy? Oh, how I need you to join me in prayer! Will you pray for the girls and women who will be attending this conference? Would you be willing to invest your prayers--and your tears--in girls you do not even know--girls you will probably never meet this side of Heaven?

It's prevention. I think we need to be investing more in prevention, don't you? Even tween girls may be coming with some deep needs, and God can meet those needs! Simply pray, "Lord, may the girls coming to this conference receive everything You have for them in full. You are faithful to supply all our needs according to Your riches in glory" (Philippians 4:18, 19).

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*That is not the girl's real name.