Protect Purity When You Downplay Dating

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Much of the confusion Christian parents and teens experience when it comes to dating exists because this modern-day tradition is not mentioned in the Bible. God’s Word was written in a time, at a place, and to a people familiar with betrothal. Arranged marriages and even legal customs were firmly in place to provide for a man and a woman to be linked together to raise a family and to continue a lineage. Interestingly, when a couple’s love story is mentioned in the Bible, the record shows that God actually did drop the right woman right in front of the man who was looking for her.

Adam and Eve. While Adam was sleeping, God formed Eve from one of his ribs, and then He brought her to him.
Isaac and Rebekah. Father Abraham sent his trusted servant in search of a wife for his son, Isaac. Through prayer, completely relying on God, the servant was able to spot Rebekah immediately, and she agreed to be Isaac’s wife, though they had never met!

Your daughter can explore the story
of Ruth in Get Real!

Ruth and Boaz. Ruth was a beautiful young widow, and the Bible suggests that Boaz was quite a bit older than she. Upon her arrival in Bethlehem, she “just happened” to go to work in Boaz’s field. When Ruth let him know that she was willing to be his wife, he said, “God bless you, my dear daughter! What a splendid expression of love! And when you could have had your pick of any of the young men around” (Ruth 3:10, Msg).

When we de-emphasize dating, we are helping our child display a splendid expression of love to his future spouse. The choice to forego dating (as our culture knows it) guards the heart, in order that it may be given fully to the future spouse, with no outstanding emotional ties. It gives kids the chance for real-time relationships, by providing the opportunity to develop lifelong friendships with persons of the opposite sex.

Why waste kisses? Why squander intimacy? Why grieve the Holy Spirit by defiling the body—the temple of God? Wouldn’t it be better if our kids could look back on their teen relationships without regrets but with plenty of fun memories? So how do you do that? Click on the links below!

Prepare your young children with positive imagery.
Provide your tweens with present-day examples.

This article and its links are excerpted from Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose by Rebecca Ingram Powell.

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Protect Purity: Provide Your Tween with Present-Day Examples

Click HERE to view all my Porn and Purity articles!

My family attended a wedding a few years ago where the bride and groom had chosen drastically different dating. Sara and Troy had never kissed each other. They had chosen a higher standard for their dating: purity. The year they spent getting to know each other and each other’s family was also spent diligently guarding each other’s purity, which started by keeping their kisses for after they were married. We had a front row seat for their first kiss! It was the most exciting wedding I have ever been to, and today, they are a beautiful Christian couple—in sync with God and with each other. (You can read more about Sara and Troy's story HERE.)

Sure couples like Sara and Troy are rare, but there does seem to be a grassroots movement, especially among homeschooling families, of radical Christian young people who are devoted to serving God through purity. We attended two more weddings last summer where the couples had saved that first kiss. What an example it was to my teenagers! (And what a lot of boo-hooing for me!) Ask the Lord to bring some godly examples of purity into your son or daughter's life. And pray diligently for the role models they already respect, like their youth pastor, church leaders, and relatives whom they admire and trust.

Check Out the Pure
In Heart Conferences!

There is a war being waged on your middler’s purity. You’ve got to join her in her fight to stay pure! If you choose to discourage dating, then you can encourage a host of other great things: entrepreneurship, volunteerism, and excellence in academics, sports, and the arts. You can also encourage her to embrace a radical mindset that demands more from life than to simply do “what everyone else is doing.”

Learn More:
Protect Purity When You Downplay Dating
Prepare Your Young Children with Positive Imagery

This article and its links are excerpted from Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose by Rebecca Ingram Powell.

Don't miss any great parenting info: Subscribe to my daily email newsletter! Click HERE.

Protect Purity: Prepare Young Children with Positive Imagery

Click HERE to view all my Porn and Purity articles!

I must admit that I have been brainwashing my children against dating since they were very young. At times, I think there is really very little any parent can do when it comes to this sort of thing, but then again, that is what the enemy would have me believe—he would have me believe that I have no influence on my child, that my relationship with my child will end as these years approach, and that I can do very little about it. But no! That is simply not true. One of the ways I have de-emphasized dating is in drawing a picture for my kids, when they were little, of what their teenage years would look like. I didn’t talk about dating as the most important part of those years. Instead, I described how they could do anything, explaining, “When you’re a teenager, you’ll be old enough to really explore different careers and life skills and see in what direction God has you aimed.” I would speak ruefully about my teen days spent mostly on the phone or watching television. Oh, what wasted time! But then, smiling, I would add, “But look what you can do! You’ll have time to pursue the desires of your heart!”

Getty Images

Several years ago, just as I was beginning to talk to my daughter about what it would be like to be a teenager, there was a interesting story in the news. Anu Kotha, a fourteen-year-old high school freshman in Florida, studied Resveratrol, a compound found in grapes and believed to be a powerful antioxidant, for her science project. Because cancer ran in her family, she wanted to see if she could be a part of the cure. This young teen went to the Moffit Cancer Center in Tampa and asked the researchers if she could work in their labs and put Resveratrol to the test. Impressed with her data as well as her determination, they agreed. The result? Anu discovered the compound could kill tumor cells while having no effect on the healthy cells.

At fourteen, Anu was using her time to learn and pursue research, which she already knew she loved. She was on a mission to find a cure for cancer. And no one was telling her she couldn’t (or shouldn't) do it. I remember taking that article and showing it to my daughter, just delighting over this teenager who was doing something besides pursuing a social life! Over and over I would tell my kids, “What do you want to do when you’re a teenager? Daddy and I will be paying your bills. You don’t have to worry about a family or a roof over your head. You can do whatever you want to do, and we will help you.” The catch here is that you have to mean it.

Learn more:
Protect Purity When You Downplay Dating
Provide your tweens with present-day examples.

This article and its links are excerpted from Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose by Rebecca Ingram Powell.

Don't miss any great parenting info: Subscribe to my daily email newsletter! Click HERE.