Mom's Tip of the Day #175

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Lead your children to pursue forgiveness when they are convicted of sin. Compare sin to weeds and explain that if left unchecked, the weeds of wrong thoughts, habits, attitudes, and actions will choke out the healthy growth that God longs for us to enjoy.

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Mom's Tip of the Day #174

Glad you stopped by!  Mom's Tip of the Day is a power-packed parenting truth, posted every weekday. Looking for more tips? Check out my Archived Tips (#1-50)  and Tips By Topic!

Are you a praying parent? Be careful not to get praise and thanksgiving confused. Praise is about who God is; thanksgiving is about what God does.

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Fear Your Child Will Abandon Her Faith?

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You hear stories every day of prodigals. And if you're on the front end of a prodigal story, you're experiencing a believing mom’s greatest fear: that her child will deny or abandon the Christian faith. My friend Timm Glover (one of the smartest people I know!) says this is actually a healthy fear. “It is an appropriate fear,” he confirms, “because the number one goal of Christian parenting is to make citizens of Heaven. It is a realistic fear, given our liberal culture. Our entire society is geared away from Christian faith.”

My, oh my, you can say that again! Take a look at the world around you. The ads, entertainment, and celebrities. The books, magazines, and media. The clothes, fashions, and focus. It is hard to stay grounded. We must constantly be on guard for ourselves, and always in prayer for our children. What are some things you can do right now to help your child develop a firm foothold on her faith?

Family rituals are important. Habits can create distinct boundaries for a child. Whether it is church attendance, family devotional time, or the tradition of bedtime prayers, children thrive on routines and take great comfort in them. When the drama of growing up begins to manifest itself in your child’s life, habits are there to run toward. On the other hand, these rituals also provide a place for your child to assert his independence. Temper your response with patience and understanding when he wants to go against the flow.

Focus on your child. God has made your child uniquely. Help your child understand that God has particular gifts, talents, and abilities created within her makeup for the specific intent of bringing glory to Him. Do everything you can to help her develop those gifts and channel the fruit she bears in the right direction.

Hang on to hope. As parents, we must trust God when life begins to unfold. “The ‘Prodigal Son’ happens every day, in the best homes,” acknowledges Glover. “Parents cannot be paralyzed by that fear.” If you have a child who takes that prodigal turn, what do you do?

• Maintain the relationship with your child to the best of your ability.
• Make sure your own life is patterned after Christ.
• Stay focused on Him through prayer and the reading of His Word.
• Enlist prayer buddies who will keep you and your child on the top of their prayer list.

A fear-driven parent hides behind a façade of control. A faith-driven parent rests beside a throne of grace. Peace only comes when we surrender our fears to God and place our confidence in Him. The parable of the Prodigal Son has a happy ending, so hang on to that! Sometimes there are certain trials that a child must go through in order to become the person God intends her to be.  

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How Perfectionism and Procrastination Affect Your Relationship with Jesus

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It has always boggled my mind how good habits are so difficult to develop and bad habits are so easy to acquire! Maybe it's because bad habits "happen" to us, but we have to "happen" to good habits in order to make them stick! Author Marla "FlyLady" Cilley candidly admits her routines took months to become habits. Perhaps that's why so many people love the FlyLady and her wonderful website! She isn't ashamed to share that her good habits took a great deal of effort, and therefore, a great deal of time.

Unfortunately, our culture places a premium on speed. The battle cry is, "Get 'er done!" When our homes or our schedules don’t fall into perfect order immediately, we are quick to declare ourselves failures. But the truth is not everything can be popped in the microwave. Good habits will not be had at the drive-thru window. Nope...sometimes we are going to have to find a place to park before we go anywhere else!

Did you know your relationship with Christ can suffer from that same perfectionist mentality? Oh, believe me--it can! See if this scenario sounds familiar: You decide that you want a deeper walk with the Lord. So you begin reading God’s Word, praying more, and looking for ways to serve Him. After a mere few days of this resolve, you still aren’t the Christian you want to be. Life crowds in with its dirt and clutter: secret sins, favorite hurts, and familiar fears. Your resolve is shaken, and once again, you find yourself feeling defeated. What then?

Or this scenario: Trying to establish the habit of a daily quiet time. Dear readers, not only does this take daily determination, it must stand up to daily interruption! Whether it is your kids, your husband, or simply your own wandering mind, this is where the enemy will fight you the hardest. Will you fight back? Or will you say, "Well, there's no way I can have a decent time with the Lord today. There's too much going on. Or, I need my rest. Or, The kids are already up and going crazy. Or, I'll do it later."

When I battled perfectionism with my quiet time, the Lord reminded me of one boy, two fish, and five barley loaves. I hate to think if I had been there and had anything to do with that day! I would have immediately dismissed that child's lunch because it wouldn't have been enough. But not Jesus. He knows it is never going to be enough. That's why we need Him. When it comes your quiet time, there will never be enough time. There will never be enough energy. There will never be enough focus. There will never be enough holiness. That's why whatever we bring to Him is just loaves and fishes. He does the multiplying. He makes sure there is enough.

Maybe the tendency to perfectionism is rooted in not fully understanding the Grace of God. But we don’t have to be perfect to please Him. He loved us first! That undeserved love washes over our sin with the grace of forgiveness and the healing power of a Father’s favor. Whether it is our homes or our hearts, there is nothing we can do without Him. Surrender your imperfections to the power of the perfect Savior. He will strengthen your weak resolve, heal your hurts, and dismiss your defeated mindset. Give Him your loaves and fishes: Got 30 minutes? Great! Only got 5 minutes? Give them to Him anyway!

The FlyLady says, "Housework done incorrectly still blesses your family." So then, it makes sense to me that a quiet time done imperfectly will still bless your heart. :)

Posts in this series:

• Do Your Routines Work for You and Your Family?
• Three Steps That Will Take You from Wanting to Be Organized to Actually BEING Organized
• Simple Routines for Kids (That Really Work!)
• How Perfectionism and Procrastination Affect Your Relationship with Jesus

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Mom's Tip of the Day #137

 

It will take time to really pray for your baby and for his future… Let this fact alone motivate you to pray: The enemy knows the power of prayer. Do you?

~From Baby Boot Camp

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Praying for Girls: Before It's Too Late

A few years ago, I was preparing to lead a high school girls' conference in Louisiana. I had asked the conference coordinator to send me a list of the names of the girls who had registered, so that I could pray over them. As I was going down the list, I came to one name--Shawna*--and I just began to weep. I had never had an experience like this before; I was literally sobbing over this girl, and I had no idea why. I asked the Lord, "What's up with this girl, Lord? Why am I crying over Shawna?" The more I prayed, the more burdened I became. Deep in my heart, I was convinced that this young woman's purity was at stake--her heart, her emotions, her future, and everything else that a girl lays down at the altar of pursuing a premature relationship with a guy who does not have her best as his priority.

On conference day, there were over 50 girls there, and as I made my way through the crowd, I was scanning every girl's nametag for Shawna. I couldn't find her. At the end of the day, the event coordinator wanted to anoint and pray over every girl who was there, one at a time. Since these were her girls, and it was her event, I moved aside to let her do this. She was spending at least ten minutes with each one of the girls, praying, admonishing, and encouraging each one as she anointed and blessed them. After about an hour, another adult leader came to me and said, "You've got to help her--she will pass out before she gets finished!" Well, I don't mind telling you that at that time, I was a little out of my element with the anointing oil and all (Did I mention that I am Baptist??? LOL), but I went to take my place at the front as the leaders shuffled the girls around to form a second prayer line. They handed me several viles of oil and parked an assistant by my side, and as I began, I looked down into the first beautiful face in the line and read her nametag: Shawna.

Yeah. Shawna.

I grabbed her by both shoulders and said (as the tears began to fall) "Shawna--I have wept over you for two weeks! Do you know why?"

And then it all came out: a crush on an older guy...a relationship she was unsure about...the strange feeling she had inside that something wasn't right...but it wasn't too late!!! Oh, praise the LORD--it wasn't too late for Shawna! We prayed and we cried and we hugged and we did, indeed, rejoice. And when I saw her the next day, she had ended it--breaking all ties and getting herself out of the relationship.

Coming up in just two weeks is the Pure In Heart Conference, which is all about capturing the hearts of tweens for the Lord Jesus Christ--before it is too late.

Before they are teenagers in full bloom.
Before they make decisions that could their lives up.
Before a lot of things.

The conference is sold out and with good reason! This event is planned, produced, and fervently prayed over, with the purposeful intention of:

• Bringing moms and tween daughters together (and grandmoms, too)
• Bringing a tween generation to God
• Bringing an adult generation back to (or closer to) God

Do you think the enemy likes this? You're right--he doesn't like it at all!

Here at Mom Seriously, I'm going to spend some time over the next two weeks talking about the conference, filling you in on what I'll be talking to the 11- and 12-year-old girls about, and also asking you to be in prayer for this event and everyone who is a part of it. Will you join me at the throne of God's Mercy? Oh, how I need you to join me in prayer! Will you pray for the girls and women who will be attending this conference? Would you be willing to invest your prayers--and your tears--in girls you do not even know--girls you will probably never meet this side of Heaven?

It's prevention. I think we need to be investing more in prevention, don't you? Even tween girls may be coming with some deep needs, and God can meet those needs! Simply pray, "Lord, may the girls coming to this conference receive everything You have for them in full. You are faithful to supply all our needs according to Your riches in glory" (Philippians 4:18, 19).

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*That is not the girl's real name.

What's Keeping You From A Daily Quiet Time?

When I was a young parent, the realities of my life's new role not only increased my desire to meet with God every day, but also forced me to realize anew my critical need for His power and presence in my life. So often, I looked at my children and wondered, How could He have entrusted me with the care of this little person’s life? I felt so inadequate. I wanted to spend time with God. I longed to hear His voice through prayer and Bible study. But just "wanting to" didn’t make the establishment of a daily quiet time easy.

A lack of discipline is the main hindrance. Discipline, or self-control, is best illustrated by Olympian athletes. They spend extensive hours in physical training, sacrificing their lives in pursuit of a goal. Their rigorous preparation does not take shortcuts or play hooky. What's their secret? Desire. They are motivated by how desperately they want the gold.

Whether it’s eating right, exercising, staying organized, or having a daily quiet time, most of us know what we should be doing, yet we allow our human nature to keep us from doing it. We are caught in the apostle Paul’s timeless paradox of not doing what we should, and doing with gusto what we should not. As new creatures saved by Christ’s sacrifice, we foolishly continue to live in the flesh, although the spirit is willing. So it's a battle. The spirit makes to-do lists, and the flesh doesn’t get them done. The spirit thinks about making a grocery list and using coupons, and the flesh goes to the store hungry and buys everything that looks good. The spirit plans to get up in the morning for time in God's Word, and the flesh hits the snooze button...repeatedly.

Most moms lay enough guilt trips on themselves without being told that they don’t pray enough. Where do I find a balance? some ask. What else can I do? What am I doing wrong? In the struggle of spirit over flesh, we must come to a place of deeper surrender. It’s really not about trying harder to achieve more self-control. It’s about letting go of more. When I empty my arms and unclench my fists, I’ll receive more of God’s grace in raising my children and becoming the parent He wants me to be.

Today, what do you need to let go of? If you find yourself in a desperate place, as difficult as it may be, thank God for it. Let that situation, relationship, or circumstance take you to your knees for some quiet time with the Lord. The best gift you can give your family is the time you spend with the Lord every day.



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Depositing Currency in Your Child's Account

Hey Everybody,

What does it mean to invest in your child? Well, what does it mean to invest in anything?

Here's an answer I found online:

"Your focus in investing is on return and can run the spectrum from conservative to very aggressive in terms of risk. One way you measure results is by the expected return weighed against the anticipated risks." I invest in my children because I want to see a return. How much I invest is determined by what I anticipate the results will be.

Financially, for example, I have invested a lot of money in teeth around here! I was willing to invest the money in orthodontics because I knew that the results would be worth it. (That investment decision was also influenced by the fact that, years ago, my parents invested in my teeth. Thanks, Mom and Dad!)

But the real investment that any mom makes is on her knees. And quite frankly, I do not think that any of us truly understands the "expected return weighed against the anticipated risks." If we did, we would pray a whole lot more! For years now, I've prayed through Stormie Omartian's book, "The Power of a Praying Parent," every month. With 30 days' worth of prayers, it is a great resource to include as part of your quiet time each day. I highly recommend it! It is never too early or too late to begin praying for your children.

When you pray, you can count on the fact that God is working. You may not see it immediately. Then again, you might! But you can count on it--He is at work, behind the scenes and often right in front of your nose! Are you willing to invest some prayer time in your kids? The results will be worth it!

What I Wish I'd Known About The Investment of Prayer (Part One)
What I Wish I'd Known About the Investment of Prayer (Part Two)