Dr Lois Evans: "Invest in Your Kids"

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One thing that makes my interview with Priscilla Shirer really special is that several years ago, I got to interview her mom, Dr. Lois Evans (wife of Dr. Tony Evans), author of  Seasons of a Woman's Life. She shared with me her thoughts on motherhood, after having raised four kids and seeing them walk successfully in their relationships with God. There was so much wisdom in what she told me, and today, I want to share with you some of my notes from that interview.

"It is important to begin training your children early in establishing a daily devotional time. Use age-appropriate material. Start with an easy reader Bible, or even a Bible book of just pictures. Read to them. Talk to them. Sit with your kids around the table and teach them God’s Word. Eventually move them up to the next level of reading. Find Bible story books that you can share together. Once they have listened to a story, have them tell the story back to you. Integrate in their systems their need to be in God’s Word. For older children, start in the book of John. Tell them stories of God’s goodness in the lives of His people. You can even include your children in your devotional life. Start with one day a week, and move up from there. It is never too late to invest in your kids.

I realize child-rearing and the formative years seem long. It seems like you will never get out of this season in life, but you will. Today I am looking at my kids who are all in ministry. I was not a perfect parent—who is? We’ve got lots of stories of imperfection. But I’m grateful that I took the advice of people in my life and invested in this hard work, yes, in this long season of mothering."

Looking for Bible studies to help your middle schooler establish a daily quiet time? Check out Wise Up! and Get Real! for girls and Dig Deep for guys.


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Upcoming Interview for ParentLife Magazine with...

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I am so blessed to get to interview some really cool people for ParentLife magazine, and I'm really excited about an upcoming interview with--YES--Priscilla Shirer! If you've read any of her books or heard her speak, you know she is just amazing. In addition to her public ministry as a Bible teacher, she's a wife and a mom, parenting three growing boys. If you were me, what would you ask her about her parenting style? About being the only female in a house full of males? About what she's teaching her sons and what she's doing to point them to Christ? I've got plenty of questions of my own, but I'd love your suggestions, too! What would you like to know?


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Revive Our Hearts Broadcast with Rebecca and Danya Begins Today

QUICK LINKS

Visiting today after listening to the Revive Our Hearts broadcast? Thanks for stopping by!

• Listen to all this week's broadcasts with Rebecca and Danya. (These are no longer available in transcript form. You must order the CDs.)
• Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler wtih Passion and Purpose is available from Revive Our Hearts along with the audio set of the 4-part interview with Nancy Leigh.
• Purchase Season of Change for Kindle here.
• Take a look inside the book. 
• Take a look at Rebecca's Bible studies for girls: Wise Up! Experience the Power of Proverbs (6th grade-9th grade) and Get Real! Embrace the Reality of Ruth (7th grade-up, with Danya as contributing author)
• Get the new DANYA EP on iTunes or Amazon.
• Interested in learning more about the Pure In Heart Conferences this fall? Go here.

"How Do I Explain Modesty to My Young Child?"

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I'm not exactly sure what happened a couple of weeks ago when I posted "So, What's Wrong with My Daughter Wearing a Bikini?" but within a few days, it became the most-read post EVER on my blog. Wow! I really had no idea it would generate that kind of response.


While several people commented publicly, and plenty of you retweeted and voiced your "amen" to my thoughts, I also received some private messages and emails with questions that I will attempt to answer in the coming weeks. Let's get started!

* * * * *

I had to laugh when a friend called after my "bikini" post to express her concerns about her 5-year-old's penchant for lifting her shirt and flashing her mid-section to anyone who happened to be around. My friend had tried to explain to her daughter that she didn't need to be doing that. "Why not, Mommy?" her daughter replied. "It's fun!"

Well, sure, it's fun! She's a child; she's playing, and she's enjoying provoking a reaction from her mom and others. As Christian parents, however, if something like this becomes a problem, we need to stifle our own laughter, squelch the urge to assume we're dealing with an exhibitionist LOL, and get down to the business of laying a foundation of modesty (a respectful presentation of self) and reverence (a respectful understanding of God).

Explaining the physical boundaries of modesty to a little girl (3 to 6 years old) doesn't have to include graphic language. (Relieved?) In fact, it's as simple as telling a Bible story: Adam and Eve is the best place to start, so be sure that you are familiar with Genesis 3.

Here's what you say:
"Honey, did you know that the need for clothing began with the very first people? You see, in the beginning, the very first people God made, Adam and Eve, were allowed to run around naked in the beautiful garden of Eden where they lived. Things were much different then, because Adam and Eve had only one rule to follow: They weren't allowed to eat from a certain tree in the garden. That was their only rule! But when they broke that one rule that God had, then there ended up being a bunch of rules that people had to follow. One of those was that people had to wear clothes."

You might want to ask, What are some rules that you have to follow? Have you ever broken a rule? What happened? After listening carefully to your child's responses, continue on with the story.

"You see, when Adam and Eve broke that first rule, they realized that they had better get dressed quick! So they decided to cover up their most important boy and girl body parts* with fig leaves."

Go outside with your child and find some leaves. (Any leaves will do.) Hold the leaves up to your chest and your bottom. Ask your child, "Honey, would these leaves cover up Mommy very well?" No, of course they wouldn't. Compare the leaves to underwear. Underwear covers your important boy or girl parts, but it doesn't cover up very well.

With your child, read this verse from the Bible. (It's important that your child sees you opening the Bible and reading from it specifically, rather than just off a sheet of paper.)  When God saw that Adam and Eve were trying to cover up with fig leaves, He gave them animal skins to dress in instead (Genesis 3:21).

Get a coat or a robe now, and show your child how God dressed Adam and Eve. He covered them up, and He covered them up very well--just like our clothes do a much better job of covering us up than our underwear does.

When it comes to talking about God, you'll find that most children have tender hearts. They want to follow through with a desire to do what He wants them to do, especially when you emphasize the fact that God loves them so very, very much! Everything He asks us to do is for our good and His glory.

Finish up by explaining to your child:
"God wants us to respect the careful and wonderful way that He made our bodies. He wants us to remember that our bodies are very special. We need to be modest and keep our special boy or girl parts private. One day, you will share those parts with the person you marry. Right now, only Mommy (or the doctor) needs to look at those parts. If anyone else ever asks to see those special parts, you need to come quickly to tell Mommy."

*I do recommend that you call these "parts" by their biological names, but I really didn't want to use those specific labels on my blog! :)


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Sundays: The Quest for Rest

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How can you make Sundays a day that is set apart for your family? Simple fellowship is an integral part of your quest for rest.

Family Dinners. My husband remembers spending every Sunday afternoon on his grandparents’ farm in rural Kentucky. With his large extended family of uncles, aunts, and cousins, Sundays were spent in worship together, followed by a big family dinner. The weekly gathering fostered family ties that continue to be strong today.

But even with no family nearby, my friend Vicki prepares a meal every Sunday, then asks God with whom she should share it. She and her husband Jim invite friends or strangers home from church to fellowship around their table, as the Lord leads. Years ago, Rich and I were the visitors at their church that God urged them to take home one chilly Sunday afternoon. What sweet fellowship, and what a precious blessing that was!

Go offline. Can you imagine a day without the Internet? One father found a note taped to his laptop screen one Sunday afternoon as he opened it to do some work from home. “Dear Dad,” it read in his son’s childish scrawl, “Let me take a nap. You go play with Ben. Love, the Computer.” A day offline is good for the whole family.

Game day. Forget the game on TV--why not play a game with your family? Board games, card games, or pickup games in the neighborhood! Often weeknights are busy with extracurricular activities and other obligations. Why not start a Sunday afternoon tradition?

After service. After worshipping corporately with your church family, why not gather at the lunch table with your crew for a time of family thanks? During the week, leave strips of paper on the table for family members to write down special things for which they want to thank the Lord. Read each strip aloud at Family Thanks, so everyone can rejoice in the good works of the Lord.

Hobbies. Sunday can be a great time to enjoy the things in which you find pleasure: scrapbooking, reading, biking, walking, crafting, even couponing! Often, our minds are best rejuvenated by engaging in those hobbies or games that are far removed from our daily mental tasks.

Simple suppers. Growing up as a pastor’s daughter, my Sunday was spent at church, both morning and evening services. After church on Sunday nights, my family came home to a late, simple supper of tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, followed by doughnuts we picked up on the way home at Krispy Kreme and hot chocolate that my mother made sweet and creamy on the stovetop. It was a special time to reconnect after a day spent in ministry. Just thinking of those evenings is a special treasure.

What are you doing this Sunday? Is it a special day at your house? Got any ideas to share for ways to "unplug" and rest with your family? I'd love to hear them!



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Mom's Tip of the Day #175

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Lead your children to pursue forgiveness when they are convicted of sin. Compare sin to weeds and explain that if left unchecked, the weeds of wrong thoughts, habits, attitudes, and actions will choke out the healthy growth that God longs for us to enjoy.

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Mom's Tip of the Day #174

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Are you a praying parent? Be careful not to get praise and thanksgiving confused. Praise is about who God is; thanksgiving is about what God does.

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Mom's Tip of the Day #170

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Don’t let your desire for changed behavior usurp your desire for a changed heart. Once you take care of the heart problem, the behavior will take care of itself.

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Mom's Tip of the Day #169

Glad you stopped by!  Mom's Tip of the Day is a power-packed parenting truth, posted every weekday. Looking for more tips? Check out my Archived Tips (#1-50)  and Tips By Topic!

If you are not in the habit of requiring immediate obedience from your child, then your child will not be in the habit of responding to you (and ultimately, to the Lord) with immediate obedience.

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Jim Bob Duggar's Great Advice for Managing Your Anger

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Today's post is excerpted from an interview I did with the Duggars on behalf of ParentLife magazine. If you're not familiar with the Duggars, they are the Arkansas family that has become nationally-known for their many children, their abiding Christian faith, and how they make those elements work successfully in front of an amazed television audience on The Discovery Channel's "19 Kids and Counting!"

The Duggars seem rather unflappable, but dad Jim Bob admits to struggling with an anger problem early on. Yes, they are real people! For most of us parents, our greatest personal testing has come through our children. God uses them to refine us, challenge us, and lead us to understanding our Heavenly Father's unconditional love and unlimited mercy. Read on as Jim Bob Duggar shares some great advice for how parents can manage their anger, rather than allowing their anger to manage them.

I never really had an anger problem—until I had children! When I saw them disobeying in different situations, it would make me upset and frustrated. Sometimes I would raise my voice in my efforts to correct them. Michelle and I quickly realized that a parent’s anger is detrimental to a child’s spirits. It creates separation between the parent and child, and its damaging effects can spread quickly to sibling relationships, as well.

Anger separates. It was actually through another man’s testimony that God revealed my anger problem to me. I heard a man sharing about how his anger had affected his home, and I saw quickly that I was headed down the same path. If a parent yells at a child or uses any kind of rejecting words toward him, it creates a wall between them. After listening to this man share what he had learned, I began to implement key biblical principles in my parenting.

The first was confession. After repenting before God, I also apologized to my children and asked them to forgive me. I realized what I was doing—reacting with anger—was worse than what they were doing, whatever their misbehavior might be.

Second, I asked my whole family to hold me accountable. I told my children that if they saw me getting angry and raising my voice, they had permission to put a hand on my arm and say, “Daddy, I think you’re getting angry. Could you whisper to me?” When that happens, it is like getting a bucket of cold water poured over your head! I have learned that if the children are in tune to my words, they are also in tune to each other’s words. My willingness to be accountable for my speech has created a whole spirit in our family, along with Michelle’s sweet spirit, for each of the children to talk kindly to each other.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry...
(James 1:19)

Love the Duggars? Check out the family's favorite books HERE!


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Fear Your Child Will Abandon Her Faith?

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You hear stories every day of prodigals. And if you're on the front end of a prodigal story, you're experiencing a believing mom’s greatest fear: that her child will deny or abandon the Christian faith. My friend Timm Glover (one of the smartest people I know!) says this is actually a healthy fear. “It is an appropriate fear,” he confirms, “because the number one goal of Christian parenting is to make citizens of Heaven. It is a realistic fear, given our liberal culture. Our entire society is geared away from Christian faith.”

My, oh my, you can say that again! Take a look at the world around you. The ads, entertainment, and celebrities. The books, magazines, and media. The clothes, fashions, and focus. It is hard to stay grounded. We must constantly be on guard for ourselves, and always in prayer for our children. What are some things you can do right now to help your child develop a firm foothold on her faith?

Family rituals are important. Habits can create distinct boundaries for a child. Whether it is church attendance, family devotional time, or the tradition of bedtime prayers, children thrive on routines and take great comfort in them. When the drama of growing up begins to manifest itself in your child’s life, habits are there to run toward. On the other hand, these rituals also provide a place for your child to assert his independence. Temper your response with patience and understanding when he wants to go against the flow.

Focus on your child. God has made your child uniquely. Help your child understand that God has particular gifts, talents, and abilities created within her makeup for the specific intent of bringing glory to Him. Do everything you can to help her develop those gifts and channel the fruit she bears in the right direction.

Hang on to hope. As parents, we must trust God when life begins to unfold. “The ‘Prodigal Son’ happens every day, in the best homes,” acknowledges Glover. “Parents cannot be paralyzed by that fear.” If you have a child who takes that prodigal turn, what do you do?

• Maintain the relationship with your child to the best of your ability.
• Make sure your own life is patterned after Christ.
• Stay focused on Him through prayer and the reading of His Word.
• Enlist prayer buddies who will keep you and your child on the top of their prayer list.

A fear-driven parent hides behind a façade of control. A faith-driven parent rests beside a throne of grace. Peace only comes when we surrender our fears to God and place our confidence in Him. The parable of the Prodigal Son has a happy ending, so hang on to that! Sometimes there are certain trials that a child must go through in order to become the person God intends her to be.  

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Infield, Outfield, Mission Field

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Heading out to the field? The baseball field?

As my sons have grown up playing baseball, I've learned that gorgeous green playing field beckons kids from all walks of life--with all kinds of moms. Approaching this time of year once again, I think back to the many women I've shared these seasons with: single moms, widowed moms, and grandmoms with full parental custody of their grandchildren. Sports moms spend a great deal of time sitting on the sidelines cheering for their kids, and, like women are prone to do, forming relationships with one another. How can you share the love of Christ with the moms sharing the sidelines with you this year?

Get to know the other mothers. Don't be shy! Introduce yourself, and put together a list of names and phone numbers. An easy way to strike up a conversation with any mom is to ask her to tell you about her child.

Arrange carpooling. Find out where other teammates live and see if you can arrange to share rides. Lots of moms need help getting their children to afternoon practice times.

Open your home. My husband grew up in a home where all of his teammates were welcome. His mother would set another place at the table and somehow divide meal portions so there was always enough to go around. A Christian home is a safe haven that God wants you to share with others.

Pray for the team. One season, our team families experienced various crises, including the death of a grandmother, one mom’s broken engagement, and another parent’s major surgery which included a hospital stay. Knowing what was going on in people’s lives gave us the opportunity to pray for these families and share Christ’s love with them through active ministry.

Support the coach. Whether you have the best coach or the worst, trust that God put your child with this person for a reason. Show your support for the coach by submitting to his authority and expertise on the field. Avoid gossip or derogatory remarks about the coach and others who are investing so much of their time and energy on your child.

Different cultures, beliefs, and lifestyles intermingle with the love we share for baseball. Too often, we shy away from others because we are afraid of getting involved or we fear our attempts at friendship will be rejected. However, these are folks with whom you already have a lot in common: You have kids the same age playing on the same team! This is a great opportunity to shed a little light and sprinkle a little salt on those around you. Ask God to open your heart to the other moms and bless the development of new relationships, opening doors to share Christ.

Want more info on sharing Christ? Check out these posts:
Can I Get a Witness? Exploring Open Doors for Sharing the Good News!
Scripture is the Key to Revealing the Truth of Christ
Faith Means Taking a Risk

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Six Tips You Need to Know For Accepting or Rejecting Advice

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We may need more time, money, and patience, but one thing most parents get plenty of is unasked-for advice! What do you do when someone offers you her thoughts on the current issues you're having with your kids? Whether you're dealing with toddlers or teens, here are six things to consider the next time someone says, "Well, if I were you..."

Photo courtesy: Getty Images

A- Accept advice graciously. You don't have to agree to do it. You don't have to mention that you didn't ask for it. A simple, "Thanks, I'll take that into consideration" will usually bring the conversation to a close.

D- Don’t get defensive. It's hard not to want to defend your child or your parenting. However, if the advice-giver is out of line, trust the Lord to reveal that to that person in His own way and through His own means.

V- View the advice-giver from the eyes of Christ. That definitely puts a different spin on it, doesn't it? His eyes are always looking at us with love and mercy--and forgiveness. How many times do you speak out of turn? Or just the opposite: Have you ever had to confront someone out of obedience to the Lord? It probably hurt you as much to give the advice as it did for the person on the other end to receive it.

I- Inquire in prayer if the advice is applicable to your life. This is where you will be especially glad if you "accepted the advice graciously." After all, what if that person is right? Shrug off the feeling of being personally attacked and just ask the Lord if the advice applies to you or not. He will tell you.

C- Consider the value of the relationship first. If it's a nosy know-it-all in the booth next to you at McDonald's, you might want to let those comments go. But if it is a person with a vested, loving interest in you and your child, it's a good idea to listen.

E- Evaluate with your spouse the best way to handle offensive advice. If you determine that the advice was offensive, and the advice came from your side of the family, then you handle it. If it came from his, then he must take care of it. You may choose to ignore it and hope it is an isolated incident. However, if it continues, you must confront the offender firmly, but as lovingly as possible.



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Is Your Past Affecting the Way You Parent?

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How were you parented? According to Timm Glover, a retired Licensed Clinical Pastoral Therapist, one common way people parent out of fear is in their desire to parent differently from their parents. For example, a man whose own father was mostly absent due to an overloaded work schedule might try to compensate by being ultra-available to his kids. A mom who grew up under a stifling disciplinarian might try to make up for that by being “buddy-buddy” with her child.

“My home was a place of violence and fear, a place where we kids walked on egg shells, learning to do whatever necessary to keep peace,” a Chattanooga mom shared with me. “While my relationship with Christ has brought healing to so many of those wounds, I fear that.”

This Valentine's Day, Show Your Kids Love In Action

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My Valentine and me!

It was our first Valentine’s Day as a married couple. Consumed with my last semester of college, I had not remembered to buy my husband a gift! I would be late for class if I tried to fix a special breakfast (not that I could cook at that time LOL), so I quickly penned a note which I left on the kitchen table. In twenty-three years of marriage, it is one of the best gifts I have ever given him. I promised to make every day a Valentine’s Day, so that he would know he was loved all year long. In keeping that promise, I have learned that while love the emotion can be a roller coaster ride, love the action will keep a relationship on track.

In truth, the picture of love that our children see expressed in our marriages is the one that will reign as the standard for all their lives. Every male-female relationship they see will measure up to that standard, go beyond it, or drop far behind. Likewise, the active love we give our children is stored in their hearts and minds, wrapped in their memories. Love can be expressed in words, thoughts, prayers, and affection, but mostly, real love is

Mom Seriously Interview: Clay Crosse with Advice for Mothers Raising Sons

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Click HERE to view all my Porn and Purity articles!

Clay and Renee share their
story in I Surrender All

For Contemporary Christian Music recording artist and Dove Award winner Clay Crosse, his first introduction to pornography was in the fourth grade. (Today, the national average for first-time exposure to porn is eight years old.) Clay and his wife Renee’s ministry, Holy Homes, seeks to help parents set a standard of holiness for their families. In a personal interview with Clay, who records his experience with porn addiction in the book, I Surrender All: Rebuilding a Marriage Broken by Pornography, we talked about how moms can make themselves aware of the extreme temptation pornography presents for their sons, and also, its damaging results.

MomSeriously (MS): Besides the Internet, how else does pornography make its way into our homes?

Clay Crosse (CC): Pornography slips in--through clothing catalogs, commercials, television, even comic books.

MS: What can moms do to help safeguard their boys?

CC: It’s really about a mom being aware, caring that this is potentially coming into a young boy’s life. There are some simple steps: Don’t let TV be the babysitter. No online access in the bedroom or other private, closed off room in the house. And no computer should be without a filter or reporting service to see where your kids are going.

MS: Sometimes moms can feel pretty awkward discussing issues like pornography with their sons. How can moms communicate successfully with their boys when it comes to talking about porn?

CC: Well, it’s important for moms to realize that boys need a dad, or a strong male figure in their life who says, Hey, I get it. I know how you feel and I know how those images make you feel and I know what they do for you. It’s not a foreign thought to me. I understand that. But let me encourage moms to challenge their sons to look at themselves as young Christian men, which means they look at themselves in a different way.

Moms can say, You will feel those lures, but know that God created you this way and offers you this amazing gift that you will enjoy one day with your wife. Until then, you’ve got to focus on Christ and be in His Word and try as best you can to grow in Him. You’ve got to walk this life. There will be times when you will fall, but God loves you so much and He has a great plan for you. And when it comes to sex in your life, it’s an amazing thing He has for you and your wife one day. So you need to be praying for your wife. And moms can help their sons respect the girls who are around them, even if everything about those girls doesn’t seem to be asking for their respect.

MS: What do you mean?

CC: Guys out there are going to have girls all around them, all the time, that are not respectful of themselves. They don’t seem to care about themselves or their bodies. I believe that’s missing out there for guys: a respect factor for girls. Moms need to impart that to their young men, and they can. My mom was the most influential in raising me.

* * * * *

Clay's latest CD release!

Hey readers, do you doubt your influence on your son? Read Clay's words again. The impact of your example along with the power of your prayers for your son must never be discounted.

I was tickled pink when Clay agreed to write the forward for my Bible study for boys, Dig Deep: Unearthing the Treasures of Solomon's Proverbs. If you have a boy 6th - 9th grade, you will want to check it out HERE.

Clay recently released a CD entitled, Everytime I Feel the Spirit: An Americana Collection of Hymns and Such available HERE. Take some time to check out his conference and resource ministry with his beautiful wife Renee at HolyHomes.org!




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Six Ways to Connect with Your Kids During A Long Winter

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With all the snow recently, airport travel was delayed and many passengers found themselves grounded from scheduled flights. While I'm sure there was a lot of complaining, it was easy to see why people had to wait. Storm patterns dictated that it was safer for planes to stay put. 

 

This winter, I think much of the country can identify with the feeling of being grounded--I know my kids and I can! We’re tired of being cooped up with colds and viruses, and most recently, flu. :( Stuck inside with long periods of inactivity is frustrating for everyone. Like a plane waiting to take off, the runway of winter stretches before me and for some reason, my flight to warm, sunny Springtime is delayed! After the third trip to the doctor's office, the third round of antibiotics, and another forecast of snow and ice, I’m ready to move to Florida! Like a grounded plane, however, I’ve got to understand that I’m staying put for a reason.

If you feel like winter has become an extended “time out,” you’ve got lots of company. This time of year, mothers often feel like prisoners in their homes. Dare you embrace this time of grounding and possibly even enjoy it? Try one or all of these six simple ways to grow and connect during the dark days of winter.

Bake bread. It’s incredible to show your children what a little bit of yeast can do! Tell the story of the Israelites' time of grounding in Egypt. Discuss how they had to skip adding the yeast when it was time to make their escape. How long will it take the bread to rise? Without the yeast, it stays grounded!

 

Limited use of computers, television, and electronic games. Now is the time to use these items, but be choosy. Make it family time, and play with your kids! When warm weather returns, you can ground these playthings and relegate them to a winter closet.

 

Board games and card games. It’s fun to make up your family’s own set of house rules and write them down. You can tailor many card games to your children’s ages. Make a chart and have a running tournament. Keep up with the winners, and cheer on the losers. (Another great game for the whole family is Pass the Pigs--so much fun!)

 

Play outside. Whenever weather and health permit, get some fresh air and playtime outdoors. Dress in layers and stay hydrated.

 

Swap up the chores. Give your kids something different to do. Housework is one way to stay active, too. Since you are in the house so much during these months, it needs to stay cleaner, especially when it comes to avoiding germs. (We worked hard over this past weekend cleaning things up, and the house stayed clean for around 47 minutes! Wow! :) )

 

 

Read together. Let's face it, you can have a zillion channels and still not find anything suitable for family viewing. Winter is a great time to begin a family story hour. Cuddle up in bed or on the couch and take turns reading some of the great classics aloud. Derek and I are still working our way through The Light and the Glory. We're almost finished, and it has been great! A wintry read-aloud for this time of year with younger ones is The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder. (Must haves for reading this book are hot cocoa and extra blankets! The winter in this book is truly LOONNGG and icy cold!)

 

And what else can you do when you're feeling grounded?

• Study God’s Word.
• Rest in His promises.
• Ask God to use this time to expose His perspective of your life, relationships, and activities.
• Remember who you are, where you came from, and where you want to go. If there is turbulence ahead, your spirit will be peaceful throughout the bumpy ride.

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Guest Post by David Powell: What Makes My Family Different

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Recently my son David (16) had the assignment in his Notgrass American History curriculum to write a paper on what makes his family different. We decided to use the assignment not for another paper, but for the opportunity to get creative with a Top Ten list! I was so tickled with what David came up with that I asked him to guest post for me today! This definitely gives you some insight into our family LOL! And if we're not so different, let us know. He'll be looking for your comments! :)

1. Say, “Bradys” or “80's,” and you've got three or four hours worth of Mom sing-along songs to choose from.

2. The rules in the house are as follows: (1) Obey all rules and (2) Do not write on the walls, as it is very hard to get writing off of walls.

3. Some people can't understand you because they speak a different language. My parents speak English but for some reason ask us to repeat ourselves often, as if they don't understand us. Example:

"Me and my friend want to go to the movies Friday," says the unassuming son.
"Who?" answers the confused parent.
"Me and my friend."
"Who?" comes the reply again, drawing an exasperated sigh from the son.
"My friend and I." I know, weird... We blame it all on the nights on Broadway.

4. The women of the family habitually make lists. These lists, however, do not appear physically but rather in essence. One feels the ethereal power of the list when the sister or mother speaks of your female friend as being "on my list." I have yet to see conclusive evidence that such a list exists, except spiritually, and am also inconclusive as to what being on the list means. It seems to be merely a tool to produce that which is awkward.

5. Organization is a state of mind...unless we’re talking coupons.

6. We have our own theory of relativity. It is based upon the hypothesis that everyone surrounding us can find some point of relativism with my dad. It’s a theory because we have found the hypothesis consistent with much data and many fourth cousins.

7. Rebelliousness is tempered with homeschooledness. A great prank is pouring food coloring into the toilets after the Chemistry tutorial. #bad2thebone

8. My brother and I walk into women's restrooms every week... because we're janitors.

9. My mom's dad is a pastor. Whenever we're with him, we engage in Bible trivia. The questions range anywhere from the dimensions of the Sea of Galilee, to the authors of different books, to all the different Mary’s in the New Testament. And it's awesome.

10. Mom’s giving me credit for writing this; that, my friends, is homeschooling in all its glory.



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Protect Purity When You Downplay Dating

New to Mom Seriously? Welcome! You'll find tons of great parenting articles, homeschooling encouragement, and every day, a Mom's Tip of the Day. Enjoy!

Click HERE to view all my Porn and Purity articles!

Much of the confusion Christian parents and teens experience when it comes to dating exists because this modern-day tradition is not mentioned in the Bible. God’s Word was written in a time, at a place, and to a people familiar with betrothal. Arranged marriages and even legal customs were firmly in place to provide for a man and a woman to be linked together to raise a family and to continue a lineage. Interestingly, when a couple’s love story is mentioned in the Bible, the record shows that God actually did drop the right woman right in front of the man who was looking for her.

Adam and Eve. While Adam was sleeping, God formed Eve from one of his ribs, and then He brought her to him.
Isaac and Rebekah. Father Abraham sent his trusted servant in search of a wife for his son, Isaac. Through prayer, completely relying on God, the servant was able to spot Rebekah immediately, and she agreed to be Isaac’s wife, though they had never met!

Your daughter can explore the story
of Ruth in Get Real!

Ruth and Boaz. Ruth was a beautiful young widow, and the Bible suggests that Boaz was quite a bit older than she. Upon her arrival in Bethlehem, she “just happened” to go to work in Boaz’s field. When Ruth let him know that she was willing to be his wife, he said, “God bless you, my dear daughter! What a splendid expression of love! And when you could have had your pick of any of the young men around” (Ruth 3:10, Msg).

When we de-emphasize dating, we are helping our child display a splendid expression of love to his future spouse. The choice to forego dating (as our culture knows it) guards the heart, in order that it may be given fully to the future spouse, with no outstanding emotional ties. It gives kids the chance for real-time relationships, by providing the opportunity to develop lifelong friendships with persons of the opposite sex.

Why waste kisses? Why squander intimacy? Why grieve the Holy Spirit by defiling the body—the temple of God? Wouldn’t it be better if our kids could look back on their teen relationships without regrets but with plenty of fun memories? So how do you do that? Click on the links below!

Prepare your young children with positive imagery.
Provide your tweens with present-day examples.

This article and its links are excerpted from Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose by Rebecca Ingram Powell.

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Eliminating a Battle of Reason

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Are you allowing your children to engage you in a battle of reason? Do they question your authority when you say, "It's time to go," or "Come with me," or "Put that down," or "Give that to me." How do you respond, when, after telling your child what you want her to do, she says, "Why?"

Many years ago, my kids (then 7 and under) were busy getting their shoes tied as we prepared to leave the play area at a fast food restaurant. A man came up to me from a nearby booth and, gesturing toward the children, questioned, “How in the world did you get them to do that?”

“Do what?” I asked.

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“How did you get them out of those tunnels and down here to leave? I was watching them because they were playing with my kids. They just obeyed you, with no arguing.” He was baffled.

Silently thanking God for my many Christian mom mentors, I filled him in on what I called the ten-minute rule. "Ten minutes before I’m ready to leave, I give my kids notice. I’ll quietly go over to the play area and tell each of them, You have ten minutes. I make sure they are looking at me, and I wait for them to answer, Yes, ma’am. (I live in the South. We say that.)

"If anyone argues, moans, or groans," I continued, "he or she must sit with me immediately while the others play for the remaining ten minutes. (But that only had to happen once for them to all know I was serious.) Their ten minutes gives them time to wrap things up, go down the slide a few more times, and say good-bye to any new friends."

Have you ever seen a parent in an unsuccessful attempt to remove a child from the play area when it is time to leave? Usually, that parent will have allowed the child to lure her into reasoning. The child wants to know:  Why it is time to go? Why can't I stay longer?
So Mom begins to offer excuses. We have to pick up brother, she might say. Or, I need to go to the store. That simply allows the child to continue with his questions: Why can't someone else pick up brother? Why do you have to go to the store?

When disciplining a young child, logical reasoning simply opens the door for debate. “Parents who try to reason with a young child normally end up frustrated and, quite often, outwitted!” says my friend Ginger Plowman, author of the best-selling parenting book, Don't Make Me Count to Three: a Mom's Look at Heart-Oriented Discipline. “Reasoning with small children in an attempt to get them to obey causes confusion. It erases the line of authority between the parent and the child. It places the child on a peer level with the parent.”

Remember that you are training your child for her ultimate position as a child of God. When God tells us something He wants us to do, we are to obey, without questioning--especially when those questions are stall tactics or attempts to go around what we know to be His direct mandate.

Young children need a clear understanding of your authority--because eventually they will need a clear understanding of His! You're the mom! Don’t surrender your God-given position of parental authority by allowing for arguments in the early years.


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