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Dr. Kevin Leman
Photo Tyndale Publishers |
“Most parents don’t have a clue when it comes to sibling rivalry,” says marriage and family expert
Dr. Kevin Leman, author of
Have a New Kid by Friday. But how could parents not have a clue, when most of us have experienced sibling rivalry ourselves? And, in many ways, we still do whenever our birth family reconvenes.
“Well, they’ve experienced it,” Dr. Leman agrees, “but they don’t know how to deal with it because they make a critical, albeit faulty, assumption: ‘If you do for one child, you must do for the other.’ That kind of reasoning will get you into all kinds of trouble as a parent.”
When a new baby first enters the family, the older child views the new sibling as an exciting, often overstated, interruption of his life. The baby has nothing on him. After all, babies primarily sleep, poop, and cry. Then things begin to change. Soon the baby can do everything the older sib can do: walk, talk, get attention, and make people laugh.
"That’s where sibling rivalry begins,” explains Dr. Leman. “It all starts with that realization that, here is someone who could possibly take my place in this family.”
All posts in this Sibling Rivalry series:
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