Birthing Sweet: There Was No Epidural in Bethlehem (Part Two)

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Be sure to read Part One of this post HERE.

What was it really like in that stable on that Holy Night? Well, if Mary's first birth experience was anything typical (and I can't help but think it was), it was a night of pain...and it was a night of purpose.
It was a night of tears...and it was a night of laughter.
It was a night of fear...and it was a night of courage.
It was a night of utter helplessness...and it was a night of great strength. When you pause to think of that Holy Night this week, remember the reality of Mary's pain and be reminded of God's overriding plan for our best and His Glory.

God planned for pain. God never intended for childbirth to be easy. After Adam and Eve sinned, they received their punishment. God told Eve, “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing” (Gen. 3:16a). If God increased it, that implies that pain was involved all along. God always planned for pain to be a part of new life.

Pain has a purpose. Labor is a beautiful picture of a merciful God. The searing pain is not constant. There are intervals of rest. While the process is intense, it is necessary. Each contraction brings the laboring mother closer to the birth of her child. Each pain is one step nearer to holding her baby in her arms. The laboring process is as much a gift to us as the miracle of new life. It invites us to reach out to God and find His strength sufficient for our weakness.

Pain is the Christmas connection to the Cross. The foundation of motherhood lies in the surrender of self and the submission to servanthood. This was the attitude of Christ. In the lowly surroundings of a stable, Mary previewed the transforming power of the Cross and the ultimate miracle of Resurrection. It is our birthright as women. A woman experiences the death of a pregnancy in exchange for the birth of her child’s independent physical functioning.

As Christians, we also must endure suffering of some form or fashion in order for the life of Christ to be fully birthed within us. Our labor is not in vain! Ask Mary. She'll tell you: Pain is what makes the birthing sweet.

Wishing you a Christmas profound in peace, power, and the precious presence of Christ,

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Birthing Sweet: There Was No Epidural in Bethlehem (Part One)

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Every Christmas I wonder about Mary’s labor and delivery. Because my experiences in childbirth have been so precious, I cannot help but wish that I knew more about Mary’s. Unfortunately, those details are not included in even the most thorough biblical account of Christ’s birth. Spiritually speaking, the world had been laboring thousands of years, waiting for the Messiah. Certainly Mary experienced the relentless extremes of labor as her body relinquished her firstborn. It is not God’s character to be hasty. Why would God rush through the birth of His Son, bypassing the inherent struggle of delivery? If we hurry through pain--if we hope to elude it--we miss its purpose. Of all pain, labor pain definitely has a purpose.

But who wants to ponder pain at Christmastime? We tend to reserve those thoughts for Easter, when we consider the Cross. We gloss over the details of Mary’s blood, sweat and tears with cute little nativity scenes that have been anesthetized to hurt and fear.

I don’t know about yours, but my crèche is neat and clean. Mary sits regally in a gown that looks as though it has just been ironed. She is a gracious hostess for someone who has just given birth, extending holy hospitality to the shepherds who have come to visit. Although not chronologically accurate, the wise men have dropped by unannounced as well, but everyone is getting along splendidly as they gaze at the sleeping, peaceful babe.

My children and I see Christmas numb to the details of that less than silent night. Do you? Let’s pause for moment to remember that there was no epidural in Bethlehem.

Scene from The Nativity Story

The last trimester is the most uncomfortable time to be traveling. Most likely, Mary’s labor had begun along the way. If Mary was indeed riding a donkey, she had bounced as it clip-clopped all the way down those dusty roads, sure with each step that she would deliver the child at any moment.
And Joseph, kind and patient Joseph, may have had a sinking feeling that they would be the last ones in Bethlehem. He may have already been concerned that there wouldn’t be any rooms left. Upon arriving in town, sweaty and tearful, they begged with a desperate urgency to be granted a room--and they were denied! A young woman, great with child, relegated to a stable for a birthing suite. Now her physical grief would be further stressed by the pain of humiliation.*

Tomorrow -- Part Two of Birthing Sweet: There Was No Epidural in Bethlehem

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*This post is adapted from the article, Birthing Sweet by Rebecca Ingram Powell, first published in ParentLife magazine, December 2003.

Christmas Tears: A Short List Means the Kids are Growing Up

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Ever since our children were toddlers, my husband and I have taken one day in December to do our Christmas shopping. With the children in the capable care of their grandmother, we left at the crack of dawn, establishing our game plan over breakfast out. Then, armed with our lists and ever on the lookout for bargains, we hit store after store until everything was completely checked off. Some years, our shopping day extended late into the evening. Other years, we finished in time to take in a movie. It soon became our personal challenge to see just how quickly we could get it all done.

Then one particular shopping day, we were finished by noon. Giddy with excitement, we relished the fact that the day was only half over and we had finished the hard part! We raced to the car laughing, eager to enjoy the rest of the day together, beginning with lunch at our favorite restaurant. Making our way there, I began to go back over the Christmas list. Had we forgotten something? How did we finish so early? That is when it hit me. We were not scrambling from store to store to find action figures, Lego’s, or the latest American Girl doll. There were no playsets or puppets or lasers on the list. My teens had asked for DVDs, CDs, and electronics. Suddenly the brevity of my shopping day exposed the truth that my babies had grown up. Within seconds, I was crying. Hot tears and heaving sobs left my insides tangled up like last year’s Christmas lights.

My poor Rich did not know what to think. I had gone from being thrilled to total meltdown. He thought I was going through “the change” right in front of him! LOL! I finally managed to explain my sorrow over the short list. He did his best to understand, but those emotions are part of Mom’s life—not so much part of Dad’s.

What is on your list this year? Christmases with your children are disappearing. Soon you will be having Christmas with teenagers, then with young adults. What is really important to you this Christmas? This mom has learned that when it comes to Christmas, it is best to keep your heart light, your oven warm, your tree lit, and your list short.



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Hey Mom! You're Setting the Pace This Christmas!

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“What do you want for Christmas, Isaiah?” I asked my six-year-old neighbor. I was anticipating his reply of action figures or the latest video games when his answer caught me by surprise. “I just want my family to be together again.” Isaiah’s dad was hospitalized, battling cancer. The situation, however, had given Isaiah something most children his age don’t have: a right perspective on what’s really important.

Every Christmas, Christian families struggle in a culture overcome with materialism. How do we teach our children the worth of a true, lasting gift versus the temporary thrill a mere toy or game provides? Have a Christmas season family meeting and walk through these steps:

Gather around the kitchen table and spend some time defining the true meaning of Christmas.
After everyone offers his/her perspective, express the ideas as a vision statement. (Word it simply for younger children.)
Lead older children look up Scriptures that summarize the significance of Christ’s birth. Try these (All Scriptures are from the NLT):

• Yes, the Lord has done amazing things for us! What joy! (Psalm 126:3).
• For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6).
• All right then, the Lord himself will give you the sign. Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son and will call him Immanuel (which means ‘God is with us’) (Isaiah 7:14).
• Then the glory of the Lord will be revealed, and all people will see it together. The Lord has spoken! (Isaiah 40:5).
• …but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! (Luke 2:10-11).
• Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life” (John 8:12 ).

Write these on pieces of poster board, decorating with Christmas colors and craft media like stickers, glitter, and ribbon. Display the messages in prominent places in your home, or rotate one each week of Advent, serving as gentle reminders during the holidays of the true reason for the season. Together, you may even choose to memorize one of these verses each week. Meditate on it throughout the busy days.

As moms, we set the pace for our families. Hectic holiday schedules along with the pressure of our shopping lists can quickly zap us of our strength and energy. We can easily lose our perspective on what is really important. This Christmas, bring your family together and resolve to focus on Christ, getting utterly wrapped up in His presence of love and peace.

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THE SANTA SERIES: Age-Appropriate Tips for Emphasizing Christ This Christmas (Part Four)

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A friend of mine has one Christmas memory that she would rather erase from her mind. It's the Christmas morning that her ten-year-old daughter found the Wal-Mart receipt for all the gifts that she and her brother had just opened. Shocked and dismayed, the girl came completely unhinged, embarking on a crying jag that would last the entire day. "Do you know how stupid I am?" she wailed through her sobs. "You bought all the presents! You did it! All year I have been telling my friends that you would never lie to me! I'm the only one in my class who still believed, and I'm the one who is really stupid!"

The broken trust between this mom and daughter would take many months to repair. "I should have done things differently," my friend says. "I just made too big a deal out of wanting her to keep believing."

Whatever age your child is, the best approach for the Christmas season is to emphasize the birth of the Savior. Child and Family Specialist, author Richard Patterson, Jr. (connect online at confidentparenting.com), offers these tips for keeping the focus on Christ.

Pre-Schoolers: “Ignore Santa and major in Jesus,” advises Patterson. He advises parents to deal with the Santa factor only when necessary and then as little as possible. Instead, capitalize on a young child’s love for birthday parties. Have a birthday party for Jesus, and do it up right, with cake, streamers, balloons, the works! Let the children participate by planning the party games and food and inviting their friends.

Years ago, when our preschool-age children began asking us questions about Santa, we responded simply with, "Santa Claus is a game that some people like to play at Christmas." Then we would redirect their focus to the real story of Christ's birth.

K-3: While Patterson advises taking much the same approach with the early grades, he encourages parents to begin the "non-confrontational" approach of asking gentle questions to help children discover for themselves that Santa is pretend (and Jesus is real).

As our children got a little older, we were careful to remind them that while we knew Santa wasn't real, there were some parents who wanted their children to believe in him. Therefore, it was those parents' responsibility to one day tell their children the truth--not anyone else's! (This brought up a lot of interesting questions and conversations with our kids!)

4th-6th: As children head toward the middle school years, most will have begun to suspect (or been told by friends--but hopefully not by my kids LOL!) that Santa is pretend. They may enjoy continuing to pretend about Santa because it may still be fun (or because they think they will not receive any gifts if they don’t act like they “believe”). These older children can be encouraged to give of themselves this season, making true sacrifices of their time and talents:

• helping in soup kitchens and thrift stores
• helping an elderly neighbor decorate her home
• baking cookies or crafting gifts for the special people in his life
• making read-aloud book recordings for younger sibs or cousins to enjoy
• conducting a neighborhood penny drive for a help center or special church offering
• memorizing Luke 2:1-21 to share with the family on Christmas Day

Read all the posts in The Santa Series:
What Are You Going To Do With Santa Claus? (Part One)
Tempted To Use Santa As Your Disciplining Tool? (Part Two)
A Works Oriented Myth (Part Three)
Age-Appropriate Tips for Emphasizing Christ this Christmas (Part Four)

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THE SANTA SERIES: A Works-Oriented Myth (Part Three)

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It seems very odd to me that Santa, a legalistic, works-oriented, earn-your-keep type of guy is able to steal the spotlight from a Savior who offers full and free forgiveness to all sinners, not just the "good" boys and girls.

Jesus loves the little children of the world. Period.

“Our children really are trying to be good,” says John Hoh, author of Santa Claus: Is He For Your Child?. “And if they feel they are failing that, they either become guilt-ridden or they act up even more, almost tempting ‘Santa’ to bypass them.”

Why waste your breath explaining Santa’s philosophy when you could be sowing seeds of grace into your child’s heart? Grace is difficult enough to understand, isn't it? Grace is extended to us in this way: God withholding what we deserve (punishment for our sins) and instead, providing the free gift of salvation through Jesus Christ.

Sure, a child can wrap his mind around simple equations:
Being good = gifts
Being bad = no gifts
However, it is the privilege of the Christian parent to lovingly demonstrate and explain the very nature of Christ, which is unconditional love. When a child misbehaves, it is not up to Santa to administer correction by way of gifts or no gifts when Christmas comes along in a few weeks. It is up to you to correct your child now. Not with threats that fall at the feet of a (non-existent) third party, but by leading your child to take three steps:

1. Understand the sinful nature of his wrongdoing
2. Take ownership of his behavior
3. Repent of his choice to sin

Remember the true meaning of Christmas: For God loved the world in this way: He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life (HCSB). The core of the Christmas message is that humanity received what we could never earn and what we did not deserve. For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift (Eph. 2:8, HCSB). It is the very best gift of Christmas.

"Love keeps no record of wrongs..." (1 Corinthians 13:5)

Read all the posts in The Santa Series:
What Are You Going To Do With Santa Claus? (Part One)
Tempted To Use Santa As Your Disciplining Tool? (Part Two)
A Works Oriented Myth (Part Three)
Age-Appropriate Tips for Emphasizing Christ this Christmas (Part Four)



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THE SANTA SERIES: Tempted to Use Santa As Your Disciplining Tool? (Part Two)

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No matter how desperately we try to have a Christ-centered Christmas, it is awfully tempting to use the red-suited man for some much needed parenting back-up during the stressful days of hustle and bustle.

My friend Renee’s eyes twinkled merrily as she watched her four-year-old scamper off to play. “This has been the best Christmas ever,” she said happily. “I struggle with Harrison all year long, but at Christmastime, he turns into a perfect little angel.”

Renee and her husband Bob had encouraged an elaborate Santa fantasy for their young son, even going so far as to make reindeer hoofprints around their backyard. When I asked them what they were going to do when Harrison found out the truth, Bob just shrugged. “All I know is, this is working,” he said. “When we remind him that Santa won’t bring him any presents if he acts up, he does exactly what we tell him to.”

Richard Patterson, a Children and Family Life Specialist, believes this type of parenting is unwise at best. “It’s a shortcut that avoids the better (and more difficult) approach of motivating children to do the right thing because it’s the right thing,” he explains. “That’s a parent’s goal. Children are to obey because it’s the right thing, because it pleases God and pleases Mom and Dad. That should be the motivation.”

Author John Hoh agrees and reminds parents that Santa is only a temporary fix for discipline problems. “It’s only effective for one month, maybe two, if you use the threat that Santa will return in January to retrieve the gifts.” Eventually, everyone finds out the truth about Santa Claus. A child who has been hoodwinked into good behavior will have no reason to comply with his parents when the jig is up. “Trust is broken,” acknowledges Hoh. “In fact, even before the ‘truth’ comes out, a child can be disillusioned.”

Focusing on a child’s outward behavior without tending to the motives of his heart will not solve your discipline issues.

Read all the posts in The Santa Series:
What Are You Going To Do With Santa Claus? (Part One)
Tempted To Use Santa As Your Disciplining Tool? (Part Two)
A Works Oriented Myth (Part Three)
Age-Appropriate Tips for Emphasizing Christ this Christmas (Part Four)




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THE SANTA SERIES: What Are You Going To Do With Santa Claus? (Part One)

New to Mom Seriously? Welcome! You'll find tons of great parenting articles, homeschooling encouragement, and every day, a Mom's Tip of the Day. This week, I'll be postiong a series of articles about Santa Claus, along with suggestions for how best to respond to this holiday tradition while emphasizing our Lord Jesus Christ. I hope you'll join me!

I’ve got a bone to pick with Santa Claus.

The guy’s got some nerve butting in on a holiday that is supposed to be about the birth of Christ. How did this jolly old elf become indelibly linked with such a holy celebration? Did he even exist? I’ll admit it is hard to be too angry with an old gentleman who delights in giving, but what is the deal with his rewards and punishment system? After all, I have seen plenty of “naughty” children doing quite well for themselves on Christmas day, while “nice” children barely scrape by. Since I was a little girl, I have had questions about this mysterious man, and this year, I’m all about finding some answers.

Fact or Fiction? The legend of Santa Claus is largely attributed to Saint Nicholas, a kind-hearted Christian bishop who lived during the fourth century. Legend credits him with many miracles as well as the personal characteristic of selfless generosity. “It appears there was a Nicholas of Myrna, although at one time even Rome questioned his existence,” says John Hoh, author of Santa Claus: Is He For Your Child?. “The only historical reference to a Nicholas of Myrna was at the Council of Nicea.”



Hoh explains that many of the legends we have of St. Nicholas don’t agree. As he was conducting research for his book, his intent was to delve into a study of the original Nicholas to show the giving nature and evangelical spirit of the historical man. “Unfortunately,” he concedes, “where Scripture is consistent with details, Nicholas legends are not.”

Many Christian parents struggle with what to do with Santa Claus. How do you answer your child when she asks, “Is Santa Claus real?” Richard Patterson, Jr., author of Parenting: Loving Our Children with God's Love (Lifeguide Bible Studies)says, “By the time our son was five, he noticed that there were Santa’s on every corner, and he began asking questions. ‘Which one is the real Santa, Daddy?’ That’s when it’s helpful to ask questions right back.” Patterson recommends asking gentle questions that prod a young child’s ability to reason. He suggests open-ended questions, such as, What do you think? A real person can't be in a lot of different places at the same time, can he? This allows the parent to acknowledge today’s Santa as make-believe-- redirecting the conversation toward the real celebration: Christ. It’s okay to let your child know that "Santa Claus" was a real man who loved serving people, but help your child understand that Saint Nicholas was focusing on Christ.

NEXT IN THE SANTA SERIES:
Tuesday: Tempted to Use Santa as Your Disciplining Tool?
Wednesday: A Works-Oriented Myth
Thursday: Age-Appropriate Tips for Emphasizing Christ this Christmas



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Five Little Ideas for A Missions-Minded Christmas

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Because it is all too easy to get caught up in the gift-buying and party-going of Christmas, slow down long enough to savor the real meaning. The real meaning of Christmas is greater than family, tradition, and gift-giving. The real meaning is that it was the beginning of the greatest rescue operation ever: A Heaven-sent Savior came to seek and save the lost! Try these five little ideas for a big impact on your family (and beyond!) this season.

Sweet treats. Keep a basket of candy canes by the front door. Tie a ribbon with a verse attached, such as John 3:16 or Luke 2:11. Offer these to everyone who drops by during the holidays. Besides family and friends, think about your FedEx and UPS carriers, the meter reader, the postal carrier, the cable tech, and others!

Warm up. Go through your coat closet and take your children’s outgrown winter items to a women and children’s shelter.

Sacrifice your change. Collect change throughout the year for the Lottie Moon Foreign Missions offering. Don’t just empty your pockets, but truly make sacrifices along the way, in front of your children. For example, forgo purchasing your favorite soft drink one week at the grocery, and put the money you would have spent in your missions jar. At the end of the year, as you count and roll the change, pray together for the missionaries.

Suggest gifts that come from the heart. Times are tough, and facing gift expectations with empty pockets is stressful--even for kids. One year, my son David received a fishing pole from his friend Matthew. It was not brand new, but it was one of Matthew’s favorite rods, and he wanted David to have it. Heartfelt gifts mean more to the giver and the one who receives, providing an excellent way to discuss Christ’s sacrifice for us.

Missionary Lottie Moon and Chinese children
Illustration courtesy of Heritage Seekers

Invite the neighborhood children over for cookies and milk. Tell your children the story of Lottie Moon and how she reached out to a nation by first reaching the stomachs of its children with her famous sugar cookies! While your children and their friends munch on the warm cookies you've made, tell them the story of the first Christmas. (Go HERE for Lottie's cookie recipe.)

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