Friday, February 12, 2010

Do I Tell My Kids about My Abortion?

I'm wrapping up this week's posts with a question that women often ask: Do I tell my kids about my abortion?
  • All of us have a past.
  • All of us have regrets.
  • All of us have things that we wish we had done differently.
And, truthfully, all of us have things that we are trying to teach our children from the perspective of, "Learn from my mistakes." When it comes to abortion, however, what should a mom do? Should she tell her kids? Should she be open about it? And when? How?

I asked my friend Timm Glover, an LCPT, about this one. He believes that such information is not appropriate for children, and it should remain within a mom’s own life and privacy.

“Perhaps when children are older; in that adult-to-adult relationship with her grown children, it might be something that, with wisdom and discretion, could be shared,” he says, adding that a mother could use her experience (with older children) in trying to address an important moral or spiritual dilemma or truth. “This information must be guided by a clear understanding of the goals and reasoning for sharing, along with the developmental stage of the child,” he says. “Take an honest look at whose needs are being met in this sharing.” Whatever you do, cover it with prayer!

Today’s moms must make every effort to raise the next generation as ardent supporters of life. Perhaps in the past you supported the pro-choice movement, held a friend’s hand through her experience, or had an abortion yourself, but today you understand the truth and you regret those choices. Do not let the enemy keep you from taking a stand. Do not let him dissuade you from passionately teaching your children what God says about life.

You can play a major part in educating your children by arming them with the truth. No matter what your past looks like, you have every right to expose the lies of our culture and point your children to the unchanging truth of God’s Word. Don't let the enemy make you cower under your regrets! Remember, the Lord wastes nothing. He is the Redeemer. There is nothing broken that He cannot put back together.

Want to check out some great resources?

Life Interrupted by Tricia Goyer
Forgiven and Set Free: A Post-Abortion Bible Study for Women by Linda Cochrane
And for little ones: Horton Hears a Who by Dr. Seuss (One of my favorites! This book plants the seed for toddlers and preschoolers to remember, “A person’s a person, no matter how small.”)

One Story: Some twenty-five years ago, one of my best friends found out she was pregnant. And she didn't want to tell her parents....(Read more)
Five Steps of Faith and Forgiveness: You may be grieving over a past abortion, or you might be bound by another sin from your past—an addiction, an affair, or a criminal charge. You understand that God has forgiven you, but you find it terribly difficult to forgive yourself. (Read more)
Symptoms of Post Abortion Syndrome: Okay, let's get down to the nitty-gritty. Today you might recognize someone you know. Or you might recognize yourself. (Read more)




Tammy said...

I don't think I have ever left a comment before but after reading this post, I felt I needed to share.

Over 20 years ago my husband and I made the decision to have an abortion, for no other reason then it wasn't the right time. I remember when God started to deal with my "secret." About 4 years after going through Forgiven and Set Free, I had a opportunity to tell my daughter. Boy was I scared because she was only 10 at the time but after much prayer I knew it was the right time.

Since then, my "secret" is no longer hidden and God is using me to tell my story (God's Story) to others who think they are the only one with this regret.

You can read about my abortion and how it affected me here: (go to the left sidebar under My Secret Sin and click on each title for the complete story.

In His Grace,

Rebecca Ingram Powell said...


Thank you sooooo much for sharing! God bless you for your courage and your trust in Him to tell your story! I'm sure that today He will use to minister to many!


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