Wednesday, September 10, 2008


We interrupt this blog tour with an unexpected detour…

Due to technical difficulties, the previously scheduled stop on this tour with Lara at Moms of Faith has been postponed! However, Season of Change made an unofficial stop last night at the park where my sons have played baseball for the last six years! As some of the moms were looking through the book, the general consensus was that they realized it was time to talk to their kids about sex.

“Is that in there?” one mom inquired of the book.

“Sure is,” I replied. “Just look at the chapter called, ‘Boys and Girls are Different.’”
Now, in case you’re wondering, I do not tell you how to get down to the nitty-gritty of “Insert tab A into slot B” in your talk with your child. My husband had those initial, biological, let’s-define-these-terms talks with our boys, and of course, I talked with our daughter. But sex should be an ongoing conversation, and not just a one-time, big talk. Excuse me, I should have capitalized that: Talk, as in: The Talk. The Big Talk.

People often ask me when they should begin talking with their kids about sex. The best advice was given to me by a mentor when my kids were just toddlers. She said, “You want to be the first one to tell them. Then, everything else they hear will be weighed and measured against what you said.” So, when you tell your kids first, you become, in their minds, the sex expert. LOL!

Truthfully, for our kids, life is interrupted by an unexpected detour into growing up—with plenty of technical difficulties! How will they figure it out? How will they know which way to go?

A few years ago, I visited New York City. I had heard so much about it, and I had always wanted to go there! As we got closer to the date of the trip, however, I got a little panicky. You see, even though I had always wanted to go there, the closer the actual trip got, the more I wasn’t so sure about going.

Then I remembered that I had a friend from college, Keith, who lived there! I called him to let him know that my husband and I were going to be in town. He picked us up at our hotel the morning after we arrived, and he showed us the town! The subways were a cinch to navigate with a seasoned New Yorker at our side! Hailing a cab was a breeze! Keith told us some things about the culture and the people that were much different from life in Tennessee. He was able to make us comfortable and help us feel right at home, because he used to live in Tennessee, too, and he remembered what that was like. But now, living happily in New York, he wanted us to see all the things he loved about it.

When it comes to growing up, you are your children’s tour guide. You point the way when there is an unexpected detour. You help them feel comfortable and right at home in their changing bodies and developing minds. You help them navigate their way through a lost culture by offering a Christian worldview.

You’re the expert—because you’ve been there.


Chatty Kelly said...

Oh my gosh! Your blog completely complements mine today. My blog title "Which Way Do I Go?" You ask in your blog, How will they know which way to go. I think I will link over here today.

Thanks for the insights. As always, you rock.

My ADHD Me said...

I like this post. As you may know from my blog, I have 2 boys (12 & 17).
Unfortunately, my husband is not really a very nice person. My kids do not connect with him and to be perfectly honest, they don't really like him....(just for the record, I do make it a point to never say anything negative about him to or around my children...they figured it out on their own) Also, I make a point of pointing out to them his good qualities, like the fact that he is an extremely hard worker and good provider.

ANYWAY, back to my original thought. I just wanted to say that I completely agree with your comments. It IS so important to talk to your kids about sex at an early age. And if you are the mom, and need to be the one to talk to your sons...pray about it....don't stress yourself about it....but just sit down and DO it. I did it and was amazed and SO pleased about how well it went. I just hit the basics with the 12 year old but the 17 year old and I have had a few very serious heart to hearts. He appeared completely at ease and I was just SO pleased at how open he was with me.

OK, that's my 2 cents worth. I am off now to go buy your book. I was going to ask CK if I could borrow hers but decided against it as it is special to her and even has a note from you in it. I can see it now, I would have it on the counter, I'd spill a drink on it, it would fall on the floor, the dog would chew on it......Hello CK, Er um I have to tell you something.... (enough said)!

Irritable Mother said...

I agree, too. At 37, I have STILL never had a real conversation with my mom about sex. I want my kids to feel comfortable talking with me about it - natural, even. And I think starting to talk about it when they're young is KEY.

Rebecca Ingram Powell said...


You're right! And I think Christian parents miss a great opportunity for this when teaching the Ten Commandments. When you're teaching four and five year olds the Ten Commandments, you eventually get to the one that says, "Do not commit adultery." I told my kids that meant that you don't act like you are married if you are not. For example, I would say, "You do not ever see Mommy kissing and hugging another man the way I kiss and hug your daddy." They understood that, and that was enough of an explanation for them at that age!

Edie said...

I love your blog and have to buy this book. I never had "The Talk" growing up and honestly, I failed pretty miserably at trying to teach my daughter. But I so want my grandaughters to be taught His ways and how to apply them to their lives.

I do have to get this book. If my daughter doesn't read it, I certainly will. Thank you Karen, and thanks to Rebecca for her insightful comment too!

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