October 31: A Day of Freedom

Thump. Thump. Thump. Does that sound like the bells of freedom ringing? There is nothing melodious about a thumping sound, but today, I'm thinking about the thudding thump of a hammer in the hands of a young monk. He was pounding tacks to the door of the Castle Church in Wittenburg exactly 493 years ago, Oct. 31, 1517 -- Reformation Day. His name was Martin Luther.

It was the custom of scholars in Luther's day to post their dissertations on the church door. Luther was posting the "Ninety-Five Theses" he had written accusing the Roman church of abuses of power and wrongful teaching. Within this document also was a revelation of sorts. Luther had been studying St. Paul's epistles in the New Testament, and he had come to a powerful conclusion. While the Roman church taught that good works paved the way to salvation, Luther had discovered that the Word of God proclaimed a person is saved only by faith in Jesus Christ.

"God puts people right through their faith in Jesus Christ," the apostle wrote in Romans 3:22-24 (TEV). "God does this to all who believe in Christ, because there is no difference at all: everyone has sinned and is far away from God's saving presence. But by the free gift of God's grace all are put right with Him through Christ Jesus, who sets them free."

It is five centuries later, and we remain indebted to Martin Luther for his courage in publicly revealing the truth of the Word of God. Yes, it took courage. Pope Leo X excommunicated Luther. When Luther was ordered to recant what he had said and written, he refused. "I am bound by the Scriptures I have quoted," he said, "and my conscience is captive to the Word of God." Four years later, the emperor signed an edict stating that Luther was an outlaw whom anyone could kill without punishment.

But the "damage" had already been done. Luther's "Ninety-Five Theses" had sparked the Reformation, the religious movement of the 1500s that gave birth to Protestantism. His paper, written in Latin, was copied and translated into German. John Calvin helped establish Protestantism in Switzerland and then France. Two hundred years later, John and Charles Wesley took the message of grace from England to the American colonies.

Today, my faith hinges on being justified, or put right with God, by an act of His grace -- His unmerited favor. I don't deserve it; I can never earn it; I cannot borrow, bribe, or barter for it. It is a gift, a free gift. So God gets all the glory; He gets all the praise.

When my children were born, each came home to a comfortable house, a furnished nursery, and a ready supply of nourishment. Not one of them had earned it. What a ridiculous notion to think of a baby earning his keep! There is absolutely no way. A baby has neither the ability nor the tools to do anything for himself. It's not possible. In the same way, it is just not possible for a person to earn her way into right standing with God. But what is impossible for us is possible with God. He knew that we couldn't make things right on our own, so He sent His Son Jesus to make things right. And He did.

Thump. Thump. Thump. It might not sound like it, but those are the bells of freedom ringing, as a soldier pounds the nails into the innocent hands of the sinless Savior. Hallelujah! FREEDOM! I am celebrating freedom this weekend. I am celebrating the saints who paid the price. I'm celebrating the Risen Lord of the harvest! How about you?*

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*This article first published in Baptist Press, 2003. All rights reserved by Rebecca Ingram Powell.

MTOD: Homeschool Edition #1

Have your child tested at the end of each school year, beginning at least by second grade. This helps you know which subjects need more focused time and attention.

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Human Resources Are Key For Homeschooling

Every homeschooling mom needs several key people she feels comfortable calling on when the going gets tough.

You've got your curriculum, consumables, and manipulatives. Books line the shelves, and your supply drawer is stocked. So far, your year is going along smoothly. But could it be your homeschooling toolbox lacks the most valued resource of all, human resources?

A veteran homeschool mom. When my first baby was born, my husband and I lived eight hours away from our moms. I needed mom mentors who had been through the baby years and come out safely on the other side! I sought these moms in my church and quickly connected with a gal who had three kids under nine years old. I figured with three kids, she had probably experienced anything I would be going through with my little one, and I was right! From mastitis to milk allergies, she always had the answer when I called.

A veteran homeschool mom is one who has been through the tough times of fielding grandparents' questions and the stares of nosy neighbors. She has survived phonics, the phoenix, and sesquipedalophobia (uhm...hello? Fear of long words! LOL). She can handle your occasional freak-outs because she has been there. She made it--you will too.

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A mom like you. I've talked quite a bit on this blog about my friend Sandy, and I'm sure some of you feel as if you know her (and some of you do! LOL). But it has made all the difference in the world to have a friend right here on the journey with me. There is no one who understands you like another homeschool mom. She knows what it's like! She knows what you do all day, and she knows why you do it. While there's no doubt that cyber friends are great, the fact remains that you need to connect personally--with a real, face-to-face support group of homeschooling moms who can actually look in your eyes, hug your neck, and sit across a table from you. And your kids need their kids.

A team of community advisors. Check out this list:

• The public librarian. Public libraries know homeschoolers well these days! Connect with a local librarian and get the help you need to pull together enrichment supplies for your studies.
• Your pastor. When my family announced plans to homeschool, we were considered radical by the sweet church we attended who had never really known anything about homeschooling. There were lots of questions, and even some "tsk-tsk's" from well-meaning folks who thought we were "cheating" our children, LOL. One Sunday, our pastor was using a sermon illustration from the life of Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. He paused and mentioned that O'Connor was homeschooled during the early years of her education, looking in the direction of my husband and me with a smile. In doing that, that precious man put his stamp of approval on our choice. Very cool.
• School teachers. There are a lot of school teachers, both public and private, who will serve as great resources for you. I certainly learned that when Danya and I were wading through Latin. Having a few teacher friends also helped when we headed toward senior year and college entrance exams and all the mind-boggling stuff that goes with that.
• Grandparents. From coaching baseball to teaching languages and economics, my kids' grandparents have been very involved and so supportive of our decision to homeschool. I've been so grateful for their support, from the first day to graduation day!

Human resources are key in all of life, but especially in homeschooling! Take care to prayerfully seek out those who would encourage, inspire, and support you in your desire to successfully do that thing you do: teach your children at home.

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This post has been submitted to Helpful Homeschool Hints.

Mom's Tip of the Day #133

"Boundaries are one of the most important things. There’s a time and a place for everything. If I don’t devote the most important time to my family, my work will not be blessed."

 ~Cherie Drennan, Founder and Creator, ChandiCharms

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From My Inbox: "My Young Sons were Exposed to Online Porn"

New to Mom Seriously? Porn and Purity is an ongoing series of unique articles seeking to help parents understand this cultural issue and its impact on our familes.

This Porn and Purity post is adapted from an email I received and the answer I shared. My prayer, and that of the mom who wrote to me, is that God will use this information to help and comfort someone today.

My sons, ages seven and five, were innocently exposed to online porn today by an eight-year-old boy in my parents’ neighborhood. My 5-year-old started asking me if it was ok to say the word "sexy" and as I investigated, they led me to the sites they were shown. It was mainly pornographic videos (both hetero and homo) from YouTube. I didn't make them feel guilty; obviously, they were innocent here. My oldest said he felt inside that it might not be right. Praise the Lord for the Holy Spirit’s guidance there. I'm looking forward to being able to teach him how to "listen" to God through this. Any prayers and advice are appreciated.

I think you have already shown great wisdom in how you have handled things so far. I'm very glad you didn't "go off the deep end!" That was the Holy Spirit working in you, as well! And you are so wise in looking at this from the very positive view of being able to use this as a "teachable moment." If we can glean anything redeeming from this, here’s something: Now your boys know that they can come to you. Yes, these conversations are happening before you were "ready," however, now the stage is set for that "ongoing conversation" that will be so beneficial throughout the years.

Our boys are going to be confronted by the demon of porn throughout their lives, and the culture is making it more and more acceptable. As Christian moms, we have our work cut out for us. The conversation with your boys has already started, so just make sure it continues. Be sure your husband is involved, too.

Your sons may not even know how to process what they saw, but as you continue to talk through this with them, capitalize on the fact that the pictures/video/images they saw were wrong. They were not true examples of God's best. I once heard a speaker recommend that parents explain sex this way to a kindergartener: Sex is a special kind of love that husbands and wives share behind the closed door of their bedroom. (That one sentence covers a lot of ground! It is special, it is love, it is for husbands and wives, and it is private.) Tell your boys that God doesn't want people to misuse His special gift of sex, or to watch His gift of sex misused.

Let the boys know that the people who are in those videos are lost, and they don't know God or how wonderful His plan (for both marriage and salvation) is. Let them know by your tone of voice that these are people to feel sorry for--they don't know Jesus, and so they don't understand true love. I think it would be okay to express anger, as well--anger that this kind of thing is out there and so easily accessed, anger that the enemy uses sin to keep people far away from Jesus and His love--but my caution would be that your boys understand that your anger is not directed toward them.

Emphasize to your boys that, as godly young men, they have the responsibility to turn their eyes away from pictures and videos like this. It is wickedness, and it is a great sadness. God grieves over this misuse of His special gift of sex. Let them know this, and pray with them that they would listen when the Holy Spirit in their hearts gives them a warning like He did in this instance. Help them understand that boys who do not have the Holy Spirit (like the neighbor boy) will not be listening for Him, and they are going to do what they want to do and what the enemy tells them to do, not what Jesus wants them to do. There will always be a choice--every time.

Pray, pray, pray that God would be glorified through this experience. Trust Him that through this, you as a parent are going to be even sharper. Be diligent to continue to help your sons (for example, when you are watching TV together. Help them learn to turn the channel and turn their eyes away when scantily-dressed women are on. Even things like Weight Watchers commercials can go too far.) I would also pray about talking to this neighbor boy's parents. I think they need to know. If this boy is looking at porn regularly at eight years old, he is going to need help. As parents we are quick to give the drugs and alcohol talk, but we do not give our boys the porn talk like we should. It is just as addictive and just as destructive. If an 8-year-old had shared drugs or alcohol with your boys, you would tell his parents, right? I think they need to know this, too.

_______________________
Thanks very much to the mom who gave me permission to share her letter. To see all the Porn and Purity articles, go HERE.




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Mom's Tip of the Day #70

There will always be times when the likeability factor just does not add up. When that happens, love your child enough to pursue her likeability.

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Let There Be Light at the Family Table!

New to Mom Seriously? Welcome! You'll find tons of great parenting articles, homeschooling encouragement, and every day, a Mom's Tip of the Day. Enjoy!

When we moved into our home several years ago, I was excited to finally have a dining room! For years we had a roomy, eat-in kitchen, which was great, but I was raised in a home with a dining room, by a mom who knew what to do with one! So there was excitement, but there was also a little intimidation. My dining room has a big, beautiful, gold chandelier, and when I saw it, I just thought, "That's not me." And it's really not, to this day, it's not. So while we still eat dinner in there, my chandelier was something I occasionally dusted off (when it got really gross, LOL) and otherwise tried not to think about. I thought about selling it, replacing it, painting it, but being the procrastinator that I am, and having way more important things to think about, I never got around to it! My family likes to eat in the dining room, and they are not nearly so picky as I am about how it looks. So we're good. :)


Trying on "Festive Shimmer in
Crimson Red"

ChandiCharms, however, have breathed new life into my 30+ year old chandi! It looks so adorable now decorated for fall (see the picture here), and it just looks more friendly. I actually like it now! And when we were eating together last Saturday night, all the kids commented on the pumpkins. It's true: people notice the details; they really do. And when it comes to loving on my family, and spending time together at that all-important family table, I want them to know that I care about the details--that it is important to me to do those little things for them that make a big difference. (After the pumpkins, I may go with the red for Christmas! So pretty!) Check out the tips below from my friend and the creator of ChandiCharms, Cherie Drennan.

GENEROUS LIGHTING FOR YOUR DINING ROOM:

1. Don't pick a chandelier that's too small! Cherie recommends you choose a chandi that is at least one-half the width of your table, but do not go over the full width of your table.
2. You need more than one source of light in your dining room. "Don't count on your chandelier as your only light source," Cherie advises. "Wall sconces, candles, and lamps can be used effectively as additional sources of light in the room." Cherie also recommends a dimmer switch for your chandelier. (My 16 yo son has assured me those are not difficult to install, so we will be looking into that!)
3. Hang your chandi between 30"-36" off the table. "Lighting affects the atmosphere at the family table," Cherie notes. "The family table is all about conversation, so you need the main light to be just high enough so that it is not casting shadows or causing an annoying glare."

GIVEAWAY: You can still enter for a chance to win a set of three Harvest Pumpkin ChandiCharms! Go HERE to leave your comment and enter by midnight tonight, Tuesday, October 26!

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GIVEAWAY! Celebrating Fall and Family with ChandiCharms

New to Mom Seriously? Welcome! You'll find tons of great parenting articles, homeschooling encouragement, and every day, a Mom's Tip of the Day. Enjoy!

**THIS GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED**

 Now THIS is a great giveaway! :)

Cherie Drennan

My friend Cherie Drennan is a mom of five, a lighting designer, an entrepreneur, and an inventor--and I am thrilled to say that as I have watched both her family and her business grow, I've watched her faith grow right along too, in perfect sync with what God has choreographed for her life. So I'm excited today to introduce you to her, and hopefully to inspire you--wherever you are in your own journey!

It was while renovating her home (a farmhouse built in 1860) several years ago that Cherie’s interest in lighting began. When she tackled the job of restoring the dining room’s antique chandelier (including teaching herself to rewire it!), what began as a pastime grew into a passion. Soon there were chandeliers in every room of the farmhouse, all custom-designed by Cherie! Quite naturally, a home-based business was born, because Cherie says, "There was no way I was going to give up raising my children, and I didn't have to. When I took my business online, all the advantages of a global market became mine."

Today, Cherie has branched out from custom-designed chandeliers to the creation of ChandiCharms (patent pending): "removable, interchangeable charms [that] slip on in the time it takes to change a light bulb, accessorizing chandeliers and wall sconces with new depth, added dimension, and vibrant definition" (from the website).

Cherie is outfitting my dining room chandelier with these gorgeous
Harvest Pumpkin ChandiCharms! Welcome, Fall!

With 19 styles, Cherie found a way to give homeowners the power to design their own chandeliers by customizing them with gorgeous charms and ornaments--no rewiring, sanding, or painting necessary. Just like you change your tabletop with dishes and fabrics, now you can accessorize your chandelier!

Cherie has learned that motherhood and business can co-exist. But it took a while. “For so many years when I worked,” she explains, “I wanted to stay at home. While I was home, though, I still had a yearning to start a business.” She struggled with feeling guilty, believing that being a mom should be enough. “I told myself I shouldn’t want to do anything else,” she admits. “I felt so guilty about it, but after lots of prayer, I realized that God made me this way! God didn’t make us all to do the same thing. Even a stay-at-home mom can do other things.” Fortunately for Cherie and any other mom who feels called to work at a job alongside being a mom, the possibilities for working from home are limitless.

I love this Fleur-de-lis design!

“Beautiful lighting is like artwork for your ceiling,” says Cherie. “With ChandiCharms, anyone can upgrade, redesign, and recreate a chandelier. It totally transforms the look and feel of your home.”

Now, wouldn't you like to win some ChandiCharms?

In celebration of this season of fall, faith, family, and friends, I'm giving away a set of three Harvest Pumpkin ChandiCharms™ (retail value: $39.99)! These are so adorable for fall--I'm keeping mine on my chandelier all the way through Thanksgiving! ChandiCharms also fit candles and wall sconces (below)! So cute!

See how cute they are on candlesticks? Enter for your chance to win!

How do you ENTER?  Leave a comment on this post, and provide your email or link back to your blog so that I have a way to notify you. This contest runs through midnight Tuesday, October 26!

Be sure to browse Cherie's website, and "Like" her ChandiCharms FB page, which she just set up. :) Check back here tomorrow to learn more about Cherie, plus a few smart lighting tips and tricks!

Read more:

Let There Be Light at The Family Table



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My Giveaway Guidelines are HERE.

Mom's Tip of the Day #117

Never underestimate the power of parental PDA (public display of affection). It provides children with a great deal of security to see their parents express their love and fondness for one another.

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Mom's Tip of the Day #130

As with everything in parenting, our children’s social skills rest on what they see modeled before them.

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Weekly Wrap-Up: Two Weeks in One!

Hey Everybody,

This week's wrap-up is absolutely full...primarily because I neglected to post a wrap-up last week! So, it's two, two, two weeks in one!



DANYA
(L to R) Asa, Danya, Matt, Mat

 First, I want to tell you about The Battle of The Bands in which my daughter's band, DANYA, is competing. The Battle is hosted by The Underground, a Cincinnati venue. There are several bands competing and they are evaluated by a team of three judges (American-Idol style) plus audience vote. DANYA has made it through the first round, with rave reviews from the team of judges. You can actually view their 15-minute set HERE and see the judges' comments, too. (You have to watch an ad, but then go about an hour into it to see the band). The next round is November 20th.

Question: Are any of you from Cincinnati? Do you live anywhere near there? Do you know someone who does? Consider this your official invitation to come support this band of great young people with a great message. (This band of four are all Christians, and all homeschoolers/homeschool grads.) Anyone who wants to help me get some Cincy homeschoolers or church groups out to support them on Nov. 20th, please contact me!)

Then last week and part of this week, I was featured as an "Ask the Expert" on the CafeMom site! The topic was homeschooling, of course, and one thing I learned is that being an "expert" basically means that if you don't know the answer, you know someone who does! LOL! My friend Sandy, who worked as a reading specialist for the school system here in Nashville before she became a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom, was able to help me with some of the tough questions on reading issues. Other than that, it was a great ten days of answering questions from moms who are doing their best to provide their kids with a quality education at home. There were lots of questions about how to homeschool older kids with little ones running around...oh my, I remember those days! Coming next week, I'll be posting a Mom's Tip of the Day: Homeschool Edition! I'm excited to post some tips that are exclusively for homeschool moms, so please pass the word, and follow this blog so you don't miss any!

My boys spent their fall break helping me paint our kitchen cabinets! Now there's some valuable life skills for you! I've been thinking about painting them for a looooong time, and I am so glad we finally did it! My guys work cheap--pizza and a couple of new CD's are a good trade but, quite honestly, don't even come close to touching the value of their time and energy spent in helping me. I'm so thankful for my two guys! (Pictures still to come!)

Hope you have a great weekend! Make some time to visit more of the posts on the Weekly Wrap-Up--this week hosted by Jamie while our dear Kris is having the time of her life at the Relevant Conference!




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Mom's Tip of the Day #126

Have a “Siblings Serve Each Other” day. Help your children cultivate servant hearts by serving each other with simple acts of kindness. Encourage them to be creative!

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Servanthood 101: Every Mother Is A Teacher

Some call it fall. Some call it Autumn. When I was growing up, we called it "back to school," and it was my mother's favorite season. As a high school teacher, she certainly enjoyed summer vacation, but she eagerly anticipated the return to school each year. She relished her profession and welcomed the season of its arrival in the same way she greeted her students: ready to teach, ready to give, and ready to applaud.

Getty Images

On the other hand, as a student, I dreaded the onset of fall in the same capacity that my mother welcomed it. I became apprehensive at the first indication of summer's end: an empty bottle of suntan lotion, a torn flip-flop, or the fading of fireflies. Summer was always too short. It seemed I barely blinked my eyes before the slightest whisper of an autumn breeze was huffing down my neck and I was back at school. I was the student who sat watching the clock, waiting for the bell to ring, and longing to escape the confines of the classroom. The right instructor went a long way in easing my transition from the lazy, crazy, hazy of summer to the readin'-writin'-'rithmetic of the school day.

Once you enter the season of motherhood, you become a teacher. Isn't it a comfort to know that God has perfectly paired you with your little one? You are the right instructor for your child. Whether you are an educator by trade, a home schooling mom, or not--you are your child's teacher. The very nature of the relationship between mother and child is that of a teacher and a student.

Often our family will sit down to play a board game together. If the game is one that the children haven't played before, I will get out the rules and try to explain it to them. It never fails that they will become frustrated trying to understand the rules without playing the game. "Don't tell us how, Mom," they insist. "Show us how!"

I realize then that while I may feel I need to explain something to the nth degree, my children learn best when I show them. Even Jesus, who used a variety of teaching methods, including sermons, parables, and simple conversations, is best known for teaching by example. He wordlessly instructs us in parenting when we look at His life.

Mom's Tip of the Day #2

Don’t go to bed angry. Settle all quarrels and discipline issues before turning in for the night. Everyone will sleep better.

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Along for the Journey: Trusted Friends

My friend Sandy can take a big, bad, everything-went-wrong day and quickly put it in perspective. And after 15 years of homeschooling together, believe me, we've been through a lot of those days! I remember once in particular, several years ago, when we had taken our kids for some recreation time at the gym. It had been a horrible day, and I was feeling like the worst mom in the world. Taking a deep breath, I quietly confessed to Sandy, “I threw a fit today--lost my temper, raised my voice, the works.”

“I’ve had days like that,” Sandy replied ruefully. What a relief to know I could be real about my struggles as a parent and not face criticism or judgment from my friend! Instead, Sandy helped me sort through my frustration and turn the experience into one from which I could learn. How did we get to this safe place in our friendship? Well, it certainly didn’t happen overnight. Our relationship began as mere acquaintances and morphed into trusted friends when we began sharing our fears, disappointments, and also victories with one another. Getting together with our kids in tow, as well as spending the occasional evening out for girl talk, offered opportunities for a unique transparency to develop between us, allowing us to shed the “supermom” image that seems to be expected, and just be ourselves.

The book of James invites us to “confess our sins to one another.” It’s easy to believe you are the only mother who struggles with anger, laziness, or jealousy. After all, other moms make parenting look so easy! When we open up to a reliable confidant, however, we will find our experiences are universal (I Corinthians 10:13) and much easier to manage with a friend.

Mothering is a journey wrought with blessings, yes, but also a certain measure of stress, frustration, and difficulty. Do you have a trusted friend? Who is holding you accountable? And who is standing faithfully by your side? If you think of someone right away, praise the Lord for that blessing of friendship. And if you don't have a special friend, ask the Lord to provide you with one. Then keep your eyes open, and trust Him to do so!


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Mom's Tip of the Day #119

Working together gives families a chance to notice each other’s strengths and encourage each other’s spiritual gifts, as well.

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Three Tips for Helping Your Shy Child

Middle school is ruthless when it comes to friendships. Children are often caught off guard as they transition from the elementary school mindset of "everyone is friends" to the middle school mentality of social ladders and the "in" crowd. A shy child navigating these uncharted waters can quickly find herself drowning in social scenarios she feels unprepared to handle. How does a parent help her shy child without micro-managing? Glynnis Whitwer, author of When Your Child Is Hurting: Helping Your Kids Survive the Ups and Downs of Life, offers several tips.

Coach your child in conversation. "We practiced," admits Whitwer, who is the mother of a shy child. "We went over how to have a conversation, and how to ask the other person open-ended questions." Rehearse different social situations with your child, coming up with opening lines, positive comments, and interesting questions.

Encourage your shy child to be an inviter. Whitwer recommends asking your shy child who he wants to get to know. Then, create opportunities for affordable activities and outings and invite that friend to come along.
Invest in your child's interests. "When your child is involved in something he likes, he will find other friends who like those same things," says Whitwer. "You just need to be sure you figure it out in an affordable way." Scouting, sports, or group lessons (music, dance, or art) all come with a group of potential friends.

Season of Change

"My shy child is never going to be the kid with a lot of friends," says Whitwer. "I have to coach him in solving the problem of loneliness without stepping in." And that, dear readers, is the balancing act of parenting middle schoolers: coaching from the sidelines, rather than stepping onto the field.




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CafeMom: Ask the Expert Continues!

Hey Everybody,

I'm spending two more days answering your questions about homeschool over at CafeMom.com! It only takes a minute to register and join the site, then join the group: Christian Moms Who Homeschool. I'd love for you to come by and connect!


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Mom's Tip of the Day #17

Habits create distinct boundaries for a child. Whether it is church attendance, family devotional time, or nightly bedtime prayers, children thrive on routines.

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When It Comes to Manners, Start with The Golden Rule

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Several years ago, a older gentleman ran into me, totaling our van. (Fortunately, no one was hurt.) His insurance company proved to be horrible to deal with, and the injustice of it was very frustrating, considering that police records and his own admission revealed that he was at fault. We had been planning an outing for my son David’s birthday that involved an overnight trip and his taking along a friend, and the car that the insurance company provided did not seat as many people as our van did, so there weren't enough seats for us to all ride together. Despite my request for a different car that more aptly suited our family, they refused to budge.

Getty images

I called the insurance company like a momma bear, with a speech all prepared for the agent who was single-handedly ruining my son’s birthday, and when he didn't answer, I unleashed on his answering machine. When I finished my tirade and hung up the phone, my children, 11, 9, and 6 at the time, began to applaud.
I relished their praise for just a few seconds before I heard an annoying voice echoing in my head: “We need to be sunshine for people today. You never know what kind of a day people are having, and we need to show Jesus through our loving attitudes.” That Pollyanna, singsong voice was my own—repeating something I regularly said to my children (the ones who had been applauding LOL), but something I obviously didn’t take to heart myself.

“All right, kids,” I began, “that might have felt good for a few minutes, but the Lord is showing me that I was not sunshine to that insurance agent. I was wrong in what I said, and I am going to have to apologize.” So I called the guy back, and once again getting his voice mail, I began to apologize for my rant. “I don’t know what kind of day you’re having, but I know that I didn’t help any. And I know that you are not trying to ruin my 9-year-old’s birthday.” A few hours later, that agent called me back, and he told me that my call (the second call) had actually made his day. Amazing. God doesn't waste anything.

When it comes to manners, our children’s social skills rest on what they see modeled before them. If we treat people the way we want to be treated, we will see our children mimicking that. Their eyes are constantly on us in the microcosm of our homes as we go about life’s daily routines. This is where the most important teaching of social skills begins.


Good manners are very simply stated by Christ in what is commonly known as the Golden Rule. “Just as you want others to do for you, do the same for them” (Luke 6:31). This requires that we moms learn to carefully think of how we would want to be treated by others, whether we are sitting in traffic, talking to a telemarketer, or responding to a sassy child. The Golden Rule is Christ’s take on social skills. Filled with grace and wisdom, it is a simple model for behavior, but it is not an easy one!



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Mom's Tip of the Day #10

When it’s time to make decisions, be sure you and your spouse are in agreement. Always present a united front before your children.

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Avoiding a Crumpled, Critical, Cliqued-Out Daughter

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Remember middle school? The cliques formed amazingly fast! Life morphed from playing with Barbie dolls to feeling pressured to look like one. Suddenly, a girl’s social status rests on her physical development and ability to attract the opposite sex. Even young girls can get hung up on outward beauty and feel compelled to pursue it, neglecting the makeover that needs to occur in their hearts.

At some point, we all long to be the prettiest girl in the room. But if a girl is only pretty on the outside, she is as one-dimensional as a model in a magazine ad: flat, lifeless, and easily crumpled. Makeup can conceal blemishes and braces can straighten teeth, but the only way to have a beautiful heart is to invite the Master of the Makeover, Jesus Christ, to do a work on the inside, where it counts.

The next several years are critical as you shield your daughter from the enemy’s lies and show your daughter who God says she is. Psalm 139 explains in beautiful language that she is fearfully and wonderfully made! She is one of a kind! God knows her story. His love does not balance on her appearance or her actions. It rests on the simple fact that He is the lover of her soul. She has managed to fascinate the Most High God without even knowing it!

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Hey Mom, did you know this is a truth that applies to you, too? And if you don't accept it, embracing it wholeheartedly, then she might not either.

If we can point our girls to the truth of God’s love for them, they will be transformed into a channel of His love. It will be natural for them to share His love with others, even those who are unkind and hurtful toward them. Christ’s love conquered death. It can conquer cliques, too.



Quick Tips:

• Avoid cliques by encouraging diverse friendships and group activities.
• Best friends are nearly essential at this age, but help your daughter keep her eyes and heart open to those girls who are consistently left out of the loop.
• Show your daughter, by example, an attitude of  "Others First."
• Pump up her self-esteem by affirming her with your positive words, listening ear, and open heart.
• Encourage her faith and remind her that she is a priceless treasure to the One who made her.

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Mom's Tip of the Day #109

When it comes to Christian parenting, if you are doing things right, you are introducing your child to a Jesus she is going to want to share.

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