Mom's Tip of the Day #69

Tell your child often of his likeability. Say, I like being with you. You're a neat kid. You are a lot of fun.

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Picky Eaters: Encouraging Healthy Habits

Photo Courtesy lipsticktocrayons.com

What's in your fridge?
What's in your pantry?
What's on your plate?

If you want to set a good example for your picky eater, start by evaluating your own eating habits. What do you grab when you’re hungry? Obviously, you or your spouse does the grocery shopping, so if there is a good deal of junk food in the house, then one of you must have brought it in. Right? (Or of course, a grandparent with good intentions may be responsible! LOL).  “You have to have the good food in the house,” encourages Leanne Ely, a nutritionist and author of Saving Dinner: The Menus, Recipes, and Shopping Lists to Bring Your Family Back to the Table. (I love this book, btw!) “This helps to build healthy habits.”

• Stock your pantry with healthy snacks that on-the-go kids can grab. and reach for them yourself.
• Swap the canned soft drinks for water bottles and you may be surprised at how easily your kids will make the switch.

Keep trying. “Just because your child said no to zucchini when he was three doesn’t mean he will say no to zucchini when he’s eight,” Leanne says. Wait a while, and try again. At the Ely house, previously rejected foods continue to be rotated through the family menu. Kids’ tastes change, and as they mature they become more willing to try different things. She also makes statements that reflect a family expectation. “When I tell a child, ‘We eat zucchini,’ it shows a team effort. This is what we do at our house.”

Encourage your child to explore a new food by offering age-appropriate, bite-sized portions. For example, if your child is two, encourage him to take two bites.

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Mom's Tip of the Day #57

Does your child know what to do in case of an emergency? Make sure your young child can clearly articulate her address and phone number.

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Picky Eaters: The Dinner Dilemma

Courtesy of healthyliving4you.info

Whether it’s a gourmet meal served in the dining room on your wedding china, or a simple picnic in the backyard with paper plates, picky eaters can absolutely ruin a good meal. I should know. As a child, I was a terribly picky eater, and as a mom, I have met my match in my youngest child. I knew I was in trouble when he turned down pureed macaroni and cheese but seemed to like the taste of Robitussin. If you’ve got a picky eater, I've got some suggestions for how to help mealtimes run more smoothly.

Offer at least one thing your picky eater will eat at every meal. This doesn’t mean that you have to become a short-order cook or place a stack of peanut butter sandwiches next to the main course at every meal (although I know some moms who do that LOL). However, if everyone but your picky eater loves Dad’s famous spicy chili, serve baked potatoes or a fruit salad along with it. Offer some options.

Somewhere along the way, we moms seem to become the food police. Let's be real: Not everyone likes every food. Bring the food to the table. Let your kids handle the serving utensils and select what they want to eat. If you serve a well-balanced meal, with four or five of the food groups represented, your child will find something to eat.

Every year or so, I ask my picky eater to make a list of the things he likes to eat. Certain textures bother him, and I want to respect that. Fortunately, as he's grown, so has his food list. One thing that has held true, however, at every stage of his growing up: If he's hungry, he'll eat. :)

Check back tomorrow for my post on Picky Eaters: Encouraging Healthy Habits

Got a story about your picky eater? I'd love to hear it!


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Pure In Heart Conference 2010 -- TAMPA!

Do you live near the Tampa, FL, area?

Do you have a daughter between the ages of 7 - 12?

Do you want to be inspired, encouraged, and supported in your quest to help your daughter live a pure life in today's world?

Do you want the fellowship of hundreds of other moms--and even grandmoms--coming alongside you to raise up a godly generation of young women?

If so, the Pure In Heart Conference is for you! And I really mean, it's for YOU!

"If you want to help your tween (7-12 year-old-girl) stay morally pure, but feel inadequate for the task, Pure In Heart is for you! Bring your tween to this day-long conference and captivate her heart before the world does. Ignite a passion for purity in her as she explores her identity as a beloved daughter of the King!" (from the website!)

Check out the website, watch the videos there, and make plans to attend! You're in for an unforgettable weekend with your daughter!

Would you like to host a Pure In Heart Conference in your area? Contact Susan Henson by clicking HERE.




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Mom's Tip of the Day #49

It’s never too early to teach your child good stewardship. Packing a healthy lunch from home incorporates lessons in good physical health as well as strong fiscal health!

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Weekly Wrap-Up: Week, Consider Yourself Wrapped!

Hey Everybody,

Now y'all know I don't talk about my kids much (ROFL), but it's the weekly wrap-up and this is where I indulge in talking about them and what we're doing!

Big news this week: Danya started college. My, oh my--it is so official! We are so excited for her. As a homeschooling mom, I never had to experience dropping my kids off at kindergarten, or watching them climb aboard a big yellow schoolbus...nope, on my child's "first day of school," she drove herself to the university and it was all good.  No sad faces! :) I am praising the Lord for all the years we spent together learning, and I am excited for her in all that God has planned...I know that His plans are to prosper her and not to harm her, to give her a hope and a future! And as far as the past is concerned, when it comes to our decision to homeschool, I have no regrets.

Sure hope my kids don't either! I don't think they do. We were asked once what their biggest complaints were about homeschooling, and Derek responded that we didn't have a house dog.

Huh?

We don't have a house dog, actually; we have a humongous dog that is most definitely an outside dog, but if that is the kid's only complaint, then I'm good with it! :)

Also big news this week: David started another year of tutorials. What we have is similar to a hybrid school, but it is only one day a week. We have used tutorials for the subjects that I, well, that I cannot bring any degree of enthusiasm to: advanced math courses, foreign language, and chemistry (ugh!). David's math instructor believes that when God said, "Be fruitful and multiply," He meant, Sit down and do your Saxon! LOL! David needs those folks who are crazy about those subjects that hold no appeal for me. It is such a blessing for our family to have those classes available.

Derek, my youngest, just continued to make me smile this week. :) We are enjoying our time together. I am  hugging all of them a little tighter this week because I realize every day how short is the time we have with our kids.

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Mom's Tip of the Day #101

Pulling a meal together is not always easy, and teaching children table manners is not always fun. Yet every effort made to gather together is worth it.

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Refocusing On Your Child's Gifts

Several years ago, after a disappointing baseball season, my son David, then ten, was thinking of giving up the sport he loved. We took a family trip to the Louisville Slugger Museum in Louisville, Kentucky, and spent an afternoon touring the bat factory and adjoining museum filled with memorabilia from Major League Baseball. Freshly inspired, David spent the off season that year training for the coming spring. He created a personal workout program and designed his own weight-training routine. After seeing what he could do and be, David recognized the losing season as a learning experience and resolved to practice more. His hard work paid off the following spring when he helped his team have a winning season and earn the championship.

So, how does a parent know when to allow a child to quit or back off, and when to step in and help a child to simply refocus his efforts? After all, for many children, music and dance lessons, along with participation in sports, have not been merely perceived as activities but as investments.

Mom's Tip of the Day #73

Ask God to show you your shy child’s strengths, and get to work on developing those hidden treasures.

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Protecting Your Child's Gifts

During that pivotal sixth-grade year, my study of piano was detoured when my family’s move. We had to find a new teacher, and it was not easy. I had been studying under the same instructor, my dear Mrs. Mosley, since I was five years old. She had me enrolled in music competitions and participating in seasonal recitals. Piano kept me quite busy and could have been a good outlet for me through the middle years. Instead, the challenges of a middle school mentality crept in.

Mom's Tip of the Day #82

Pray for discernment to pick up on those times when your kids need to talk but don't know how or where to start.

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Train Up A Child to Go With Her Gifts

When it comes to their gifts, children are not blank canvases on which we can paint the pictures we want to see. They are not empty hard drives that can be programmed to produce a desired result. They are born with certain talents, abilities, and personalities, hard-wired by their Creator. Ancient Jerusalem’s King Solomon, the writer of many Old Testament proverbs, once said, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6, NIV). His words indicate that part of our job as parents is to help each child realize his own unique design and train him to go with it, not against it. If we want our children to lead focused lives that make the most of their God-given talents and abilities, we must be attentive to the clues that will help us diagnose our kids’ gifts and encourage their interests.

My friend Marla discovered her daughter Rebecca had a talent for dancing when she was just four years old. “I think God was in it from the very beginning,” she says.

She had taken Rebecca to a friend’s dance studio and allowed her to participate in a class. “From the first class, I could tell she was in her element. In the weeks that followed, I actually saw her face change when she entered the studio. She became determined, purposeful, and intent on learning.”

By the time she was ten, Rebecca knew that serving God through dance was what she wanted to do. Through middle school, Rebecca never wavered in her purpose. Instead, it carried her through those years, providing a focus and a framework to each day.

Ask yourself:

What does my child enjoy doing? (Be careful that it is not just something you enjoy.)
What does she enjoy watching others do? (Be careful that it is not just something you enjoy watching him do.)
Do I really know my child? (Be careful to become a student of your child.)

If you aren’t sure of the answers, then ask your child. Ask grandparents. Ask friends. Discovering your child's gifts often means mastering the art of investigation!




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Mom's Tip of the Day #76

Children over twelve examine values. They are looking for truth, and they loathe hypocrisy—mainly because they see it so much in themselves and their friends. This is the season when everybody is trying to be who they are not.

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Children Aren't Blank Canvases

Jed, a middle-aged pastor, tried not to roll his eyes. Once again, his 18-year-old son, Samuel, was pleading to be allowed to study art at the university. Jed had tried to explain to Samuel that he would probably never make a living as a painter. He would get no respect. How could art be his choice when he could do so much more with his life? He had so hoped that Samuel would go into the ministry, following in his footsteps.

But then Samuel, with pleading eyes and a solemn tone explained, “I was made for a painter.” That did it. Jed realized then that there was indeed a calling on Samuel's life, as sure as he knew there was a calling on his own. Jed believed he had been born to spread Christianity. Samuel’s calling may have been different from his, but it was quite the same in its undeniable urgency. Jed felt a new kinship with his son, and he sent Samuel to the university to study art with his blessing.

Sometimes I think that we see our children as blank canvases on which we can paint a picture of what we want them to be or what we wish we could have been. The truth is

Doing Hard Things

Hey Everybody,

It is an interesting thing to be in school all morning, break for lunch, and your sons have a message waiting for them to call a local reporter concerning a breaking news story! Enjoy the story below--the FaceBook page the reporter mentions is the one my boys created. (Keep in mind this foray into activism was inspired by the "Do Hard Things" conference we attended exactly one week ago!) When the boys found out the university that owns this station, their favorite radio station, was considering selling, they wanted to do something about it. After all, one of them had already made up his mind to go there in a few years!

Over the past year, the boys had become friends with several of the student DJ's, and they had visited the campus station often. My younger one was learning lots of technical stuff, and it had really whet his appetite for broadcasting. They said, "Mom, we think that this might be one of those "hard things" they were talking about at the conference. We want to do something."

Go, guys--and keep going--even though the decision was not what you hoped for. Do Hard Things!

Mom's Tip of the Day #30

Never stop pointing your kids to Christ.

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Weekly Wrap-Up: Why Haven't I Done This Before?

We’re wrapping up our second week of homeschooling in this, my 15th year to teach my children at home (unbelieveable in and of itself—I’m so thankful for God’s amazing grace in allowing me to do this!). Things are a lot different this year, with my oldest preparing to start her freshman year of college next week. I was telling her that in many ways, her college freshman year is easier for me than her high school freshman year was. Four years ago, when she was beginning high school studies, she re-located from our homeschool room to a desk in her bedroom. Our school room was a teensy bit crowded,

SEASON OF CHANGE NOW AVAILABLE ON KINDLE!

Hey Everybody!

Kindle is all the rage, and some of you have asked me if you can get Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose on Kindle. Well...(drum roll)...it is now available! Follow the link to Amazon to order!

Mom's Tip of the Day #53

Learn your way around social networking sites and set up your own account. This is a great way to connect with your kids and their friends.

The Duggars on Sibling Rivalry vs. The Love Dynamic

(Comments from Jim Bob Duggar are taken from my 2007 interview with the Duggars for ParentLife magazine.)

"We’re trying to teach our children to love God with their whole heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love others and treat others like they would like to be loved and treated," says Jim Bob Duggar. There are a couple of ways the Duggars put this into practice.

It's Your Serve. "We try to get our children, each one in our family, to serve each other," Jim Bob shares. "When a child realizes that the world does not revolve around him, that we are in this world to actually serve others and serve God, that creates a whole new level of maturity."

A Love Dynamic. "Michelle and I never wanted our family to operate in an 'evil for evil' relationship. Instead, we wanted to create a whole new love dynamic at home, where everybody is trying to love each other and serve each other and invest in each other’s lives. That means we look out for each other. We love each other and serve each other, and it creates a wonderful place to live."

So what does this look like? On a daily basis, what is it really going to look like in MY home--in YOUR home? Fundamentally, I think it looks like self-discipline and self-sacrifice, don't you? Those are two weighty life lessons--but where better to learn them than in the home?

I will discipline myself to not respond in anger.
I will sacrifice my desires for yours.
I will put your needs ahead of my own.
And I will do it cheerfully--because in this I am bringing glory to God.

After all, those sibling relationships are precious ones, and the ones that last the longest. You have your siblings before you have a spouse. Your sibs usually live longer than your parents. It is a lifetime relationship. This is a point that I often stress at the Pure In Heart Conferences, when I'm talking with the 5th and 6th grade girls. They are usually astounded to hear that they can actually practice Christ-like attitudes with their siblings...right in their own homes!

All posts in this Sibling Rivalry series:

• Get a Clue When It Comes to Sibling Rivalry
• Diminish Sibling Rivalry When You Celebrate Differences
• Sibling Rivalry Calls for a Love Connection
• Sibling Rivalry vs. The Love Dynamic

 PLUS, CHECK OUT THE DUGGAR FAMILY'S FAVORITE BOOKS! CLICK HERE!

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Mom's Tip of the Day #83

It takes time to parent. There are no shortcuts.

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Sibling Rivalry Calls For A Love Connection

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar

(Today's post is the third in this series on Sibling Rivalry. Comments from Jim Bob Duggar are taken from my 2007 interview with the Duggars for ParentLife magazine.)

"People often wonder how we manage the dynamics of such a large family," notes Jim Bob Duggar. "Curious parents will often ask, We have two children, and they fight like cats and dogs. How do you do it with 17? But in their minds, they are picturing 17 children in one house fighting and bickering with each other. They are picturing total chaos, and it would be! However, that preconceived image is actually just the opposite of what happens in our home.

"God’s principles, put into practice, will work in every family:

• Being open to God’s revelation of truth through personal study of His Word and solid biblical teaching
• Confessing where we fall short, repenting, and turning away from our sin
• Making things right with those we have hurt, resolving the conflict, and putting away anger
• Asking for accountability from other Christians

"In our home, if an offense has been committed, we teach our children to go back and make things right. That always begins with an apology. That means more than just saying the word, “sorry.” We have them say, 'I was wrong for taking that toy away from you,' or 'I was wrong for hitting you. Will you please forgive me?' After a hug, they know the conflict is resolved. The Bible tells us not to let the sun go down on our anger. Take care of conflict as quickly as possible. This is vital to bringing peace and unity in the home. Our goal is for our children to become each other’s best friends, and they really have."

All posts in this Sibling Rivalry series:

• Get a Clue When It Comes to Sibling Rivalry
• Diminish Sibling Rivalry When You Celebrate Differences
• Sibling Rivalry Calls for a Love Connection
• Sibling Rivalry vs. The Love Dynamic

 PLUS, CHECK OUT THE DUGGAR FAMILY'S FAVORITE BOOKS! CLICK HERE!

Diminish Sibling Rivalry When You Celebrate Differences

Are you guilty of giving gifts to each sibling when it is only one child’s birthday? How about giving kids the same bedtimes? Or involving kids in the same activities? Dr. Kevin Leman says that sibling rivalry can be significantly diminished by ensuring that each child knows he holds a special, unique place in the family unit.

 

Celebrate differences. “What drives a kid away from sibling rivalry is allowing him to see that he is different, and embrace those differences,” he explains. It is okay to put into practice in your home that kids are treated differently. Age is a difference. Gender is a difference. Giftings and aptitudes are a difference.

“The state you live in will treat your kids differently,” notes Dr. Leman. “A 16-year-old gets to drive, a 14-year-old doesn’t. That’s life. And love is not diminished by this.”

 

Look for ways you can emphasize differences within your family. Where one is weak, another is strong. Even little things matter. At my house, the youngest has a knack for all things technological. He’s the one I call when I'm stuck, whether a computer freezes or I need to record a program on the DVR. Both my boys played baseball and basketball, but as they've gotten older, each has chosen to focus on the sport he was best suited for. God formed the family and populated it with people who are different. Celebrate that!

 

All posts in this Sibling Rivalry series:

• Get a Clue When It Comes to Sibling Rivalry
• Diminish Sibling Rivalry When You Celebrate Differences
• Sibling Rivalry Calls for a Love Connection
• Sibling Rivalry vs. The Love Dynamic

 

Mom's Tip of the Day #99

Pray for your child to be the right kind of friend. Remind him that as Christians, we best express our faith through our love for others.

Mom's Tip of the Day #88

 Schedules can be empowering for kids. In a world where everyone else is making the decisions for them, schedules let them know what to expect next.

Get A Clue When It Comes To Sibling Rivalry

Dr. Kevin Leman
Photo Tyndale Publishers

“Most parents don’t have a clue when it comes to sibling rivalry,” says marriage and family expert Dr. Kevin Leman, author of Have a New Kid by Friday.  But how could parents not have a clue, when most of us have experienced sibling rivalry ourselves? And, in many ways, we still do whenever our birth family reconvenes.

 

“Well, they’ve experienced it,” Dr. Leman agrees, “but they don’t know how to deal with it because they make a critical, albeit faulty, assumption: ‘If you do for one child, you must do for the other.’ That kind of reasoning will get you into all kinds of trouble as a parent.”

 

When a new baby first enters the family, the older child views the new sibling as an exciting, often overstated, interruption of his life. The baby has nothing on him. After all, babies primarily sleep, poop, and cry. Then things begin to change. Soon the baby can do everything the older sib can do: walk, talk, get attention, and make people laugh.

 

"That’s where sibling rivalry begins,” explains Dr. Leman. “It all starts with that realization that, here is someone who could possibly take my place in this family.”

 

 

All posts in this Sibling Rivalry series:

• Get a Clue When It Comes to Sibling Rivalry
• Diminish Sibling Rivalry When You Celebrate Differences
• Sibling Rivalry Calls for a Love Connection
• Sibling Rivalry vs. The Love Dynamic