Mom's Tip of the Day #94

While you may be hesitant to talk to your kids about sex, the world is not. Start the conversation.

Read the Review: In A Heartbeat

Hey Everybody,

I hope you are looking forward to a great, long weekend! I am so thankful for those who have served our country, and those who continue to do so. If I've ever met you at a homeschool conference, you've probably seen the army boot that I keep on my table, right next to "Baby Boot Camp." This was given to me by a soldier who has been on several tours in the "sand pit" (as he calls Iraq). It is precious to me because I know he serves our country out of his love for his fellow Americans--a love that has asked him to risk his life time and time again--and he has done so willingly. Blows my mind. Remember our troops currently serving as you remember those who gave their lives and youth for our dear country.

On a different note (and a musical note at that!), thought you might want to see this great review on Danya's new CD, In a Heartbeat, from Kris over at Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers. Click HERE.

Mom's Tip of the Day #84

Motherhood reaches over to volume of our faith and it cranks it up. It has to. You won’t survive parenting unless you let it.

Like Your Child Enough to Appreciate His Differences

As children grow and begin to develop their own personalities, parents may find that a child has some tendencies or traits that rub them the wrong way. For example, a free-spirited, athletic parent may grow exasperated with a quiet child who spends hours reading. Don't take it personally! Do your best to find some common ground! Believe me, your child longs for that as much as you do!

How about listing all the wonderful things about your child that you admire? Appreciate your child by grasping the divine nature of her differences. God has a special plan and purpose for your child, and He designed her personality with His ultimate goal in mind.
Every parent hopes to raise likeable children. Likeability is what engages people in relationships, and God-honoring relationships draw people to Christ. If you are dealing with an anxious ‘tween or an aggravating toddler, the likeability meter may be low. That is where love comes in. Love tides you over when like is dwindling! There will always be times when the likeability factor just does not add up. When that happens, love your child enough to pursue her likeability.

Mom's Tip of the Day #37

Disobedience is a sin against God. Love your child too much to allow him to be disobedient. Follow through with the appropriate punishment—every time.

Have Fun with Your Kids

If you like me, you're going to spend time with me and we're going to have fun, right? That's sound reasoning! So I'm asking you today, do your kids know you like them?

My sons have recently become fascinated with the old shoot-‘em-up Westerns. I like spending time with my boys, so that means I have recently become fascinated with Westerns, too. Well, not really, but I am fascinated with my boys, and as they grow, I am interested in what makes them tick. I would rather join in their fun than be left out of it.

Try these tips for a quick study in Like-ology:


Listen—Listen to your child, giving her your undivided attention.

Laugh—Laugh at his jokes, and take note of the things he finds humorous.

Look—Pay attention! When you like someone, you notice everything about him.

Linger—Make time to be still with your child. Make yourself available so he knows he is important to you.

Mom's Tip of the Day #44

God created each personality and put your family together by purposeful design. Lead your children to ask for His help when they have problems getting along.

I Like You

Hey Everybody,

We're talking this week about the likeability factor! It's so important to let your kids know that you like them, and you like being around them. Never underestimate the power of your words!Tell your child often of his likeability. Say:

• I like being with you.
• You are a neat kid.
• You are a lot of fun!

And how about telling other people? Resist the urge to join in the chorus of, “My kids are driving me crazy.” Instead, mention what a great time you have with your kids. Brag on them within hearing distance. Children are validated by what they hear you say.

Mom's Tip of the Day #13

Are you feeling inadequate as a parent? Hand God your questions, tell Him your fears, and surrender your confusion. Let Him take over.

The Likeability Factor

It was one of the most hurtful events of my childhood.
I had gone to a neighbor’s house to play with several friends, only to be informed by one of the girls, “We voted, and no one wants to play with you.” There was no recount, no possibility of hanging chads, just one vote among nine-year-old girls, and I was literally out on the street. They did not like me that day, and I did not know why. Fortunately, I trudged home to loving parents who did like me; I knew that for sure. Somehow the knowledge of my likeability in their eyes helped me weather many storms during those growing up years when peer approval was often unattainable.

Most kids understand that love is part of a parent’s job description. Parents have to love their kids. But do they have to like them? Liking is optional. Liking has to do with preference, personality, and at times, partiality. During the ‘tween years, when the lines are drawn between who is in and who is out, it is more important than ever that our children know they are not only loved, but they are liked: They are accepted, appreciated, and at times, admired. There are several ways parents can let children know that they have a high likeability factor, and we'll be talking about a few this week!

Don't forget to check out the Mom's Tip that posts today at noon CST!

Tomorrow:

Links for the "Season of Change" FamilyLife Today Broadcasts

Hey Everybody,

Here are the links for my FamilyLife Today broadcasts this week. Just click on the title and it will take you straight to the archived broadcast at FamilyLife. Listen anytime online!

Part One:

Understanding the Middle School Years

Part Two:
The All-Important Image

Part Three:
Connecting with Your Kids (Danya is on this one with me.)

Dating Your Child

Hey Everybody,

Today on the FamilyLife Today broadcast, one of the things we talked about was dating your child. Below is an excerpt from Season of Change!

My husband and I met in college. We were good friends and often saw each other in group settings before we started dating. Once he asked me out, however, I looked forward to some time spent away from the noise of the crowd. I wanted to know more about his background, his thoughts, his likes and dislikes. I relished the idea of a quiet dinner focused on getting to know him.

Now that I’m a mother, I realize it is essential to spend time focusing on my children one at a time. Of course, I know my children’s background and history information, but as they rapidly grow and change, I want to know the persons they are becoming. I have found that a great way to connect with my kids is to get away occasionally for some one-on-one time, otherwise known as a date! Don’t worry—this does not have to be expensive! Dating your kids operates on the same philosophy you may remember from your own dating days: It’s not about money. It’s about spending time together.

When I was an elementary student, my dad drove me to school and picked me up every day. It was a twenty-minute trip each way, and during that time I had my dad’s undivided attention. We talked. We sang. We made up games. I remember some of the silliest conversations we had. One day I told him I wanted to be Miss Tennessee, the next day, the President of the United States. He was an attentive listener and encouraged me always in my walk with the Lord. Every Friday afternoon, we celebrated the weekend by stopping for an Icee. Those special times with my dad are some of my best memories of childhood—simple, unhurried moments together. Times like these are especially important to a middler. When we moved and I started riding the bus as a sixth-grader, I really missed those rides with my dad.

Individual time spent with your child provides a safe atmosphere for discussing important issues. Things that would never come up at the family dinner table often surface in the confidential confines of a car or a restaurant’s corner booth. (Read more in my book, Season of Change)
Excerpted from Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose. Copyright © 2008 by Rebecca Ingram Powell. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed for capital gain.

It's been my delight to share with you on the FamilyLife Today show this week! Today's broadcast was extra special to me because it was a total surprise that my daughter Danya would be on the show with me! I hope you have enjoyed listening to the broadcasts as much as I enjoyed recording them with Dennis and Bob! I invite you to check back often here at my blog, and please know that I would love to hear from you! Feel free to connect with me by clicking on my contact button above!

Three Reasons a Girl Chooses to Dress Immodestly

Hey Everybody,

If you listened to the FamilyLife Today broadcast today, you heard us talking about modesty, and in particular, three reasons a girl chooses to dress immodestly. Here's a brief excerpt from my book, Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose.

My daughter and I went to hear the popular Christian abstinence speaker, Marilyn Morris, a few years ago. Marilyn was speaking to parents about many issues related to purity, and then she segued into a challenging talk on modesty. She said there are three reasons why a girl chooses to dress immodestly.


She’s uninformed. It’s possible no one has taken the time to educate her about what goes on in a young man’s mind when he sees a girl dressed immodestly.

She’s a tease. Some girls are fully aware of what they are doing. They enjoy the power trip they get from teasing the boys around them. This is cruel, manipulative, and sinful.

She’s easy. Some girls dress immodestly because they are inviting boys to think of them as available for a sexual relationship. They are advertising with their appearance that they are up for grabs.

How is a young man supposed to know which of these categories a girl falls into? According to Marilyn, a typical guy will put a girl in the category that best suits his desires. This is exactly how many girls have found themselves in dangerous situations. Girls need to understand that the way they dress makes a strong statement to the opposite sex about who they are, and it can quickly brand their reputation.

It was at this point that a thirty-something woman in the audience raised her hand. She was wearing a thin, wispy sundress with a scooping neckline. When Marilyn acknowledged her, she stood up and began to debate the modesty issue. “What if none of those reasons are true?” she asked belligerently. “What if you dress that way because it makes you feel pretty?”

Calmly, Marilyn explained that she believed if it made a woman feel pretty to flaunt her body, then it must be that she was uninformed (category one) and that no one had ever explained to her how her clothing choices were affecting the men around her. It would mean the woman was putting her need to feel pretty over her responsibility to not encourage another to sin.

The pull of prettiness, veiled in sensuality, still held a lure for this mom. I think it does for many moms, and that is why so many of our young girls dress immodestly. Assuming that your daughter does not fall into the latter two categories, by the time she is in middle school, you need to have a talk about modesty.

Excerpted from Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose. Copyright © 2008 by Rebecca Ingram Powell. All rights reserved. May not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed for capital gain.

Check out Season of Change by clicking here, and my audio CD, Modesty: Straight Talk to Girls by clicking here. Plus, to learn more about my daughter Danya click here.

Mom's Tip of the Day #28

Your first priority in parenting is a solid marriage. The kids need to understand that you were a couple before you were a family.

Practical Tips to Keep Pornography Out of Your Home



Click on the button to view all my Porn and Purity articles!



If you're visiting today because you heard the broadcast on FamilyLife Today, welcome! I'm so glad you dropped by! Feel free to browse my site and use the Google search box on the right to look for specific information about parenting your middle schooler!


We're traveling home today from the ENOCH homeschool convention in New Jersey, where we made lots of new friends and had so much fun! Moms: I was asked over and over again about guarding our sons against pornography. That was probably the number one question I was asked at this conference. Have you talked to your son about this? The temptation to view pornography will be crouching at the door all of his life. Talk about it together, and let him know you are on his side as he fights this battle.

Here are some practical things you can do.

Keep lingerie magazines, including sales fliers from your local department store, out of sight.

Filter what you are watching. You may love watching the choreography on “Dancing with the Stars,” but for your son, it’s all jiggling flesh and steamy sexual images.

Take a closer look at teen shows on “kid-friendly” channels. Many young actresses are dressed to draw attention to every curve. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but he has.

Be Internet savvy. Make sure there are filters installed on your computer, but keep in mind that no filter can do it all. Know how to check your Internet surfing history. Help your son avoid the temptation of the Internet and other media by keeping computers and TV’s out of his bedroom.

A filter on his heart. As moms, we may be tempted to leave this part of raising our sons up to their fathers. However, when we understand the challenges our sons face, it will go a long way in helping them overcome the multiple temptations they confront every day. We also need to understand the only trustworthy “filter” is the Holy Spirit working in a growing young man’s heart. As a boy grows up, the feelings and thoughts he is suddenly experiencing may come as a surprise, and even a shock.

• Let your son know he is normal. It is vital that boys understand all men struggle with the issue of pornography, but there is a God who is bigger than any temptation they face.
• Agree to hold him accountable for his entertainment choices, and let your son know you are willing to be held accountable for yours.
• Teach him to resist temptation the way Jesus did, through prayer and Bible study. Using Philippians 4:8 as a guide, help your son practice replacing fleshly thoughts with godly thoughts of things above.

Top Five Firsts at the ENOCH Convention New Jersey

5. First time I have ever met a person whose spouse survived the 9-11 tragedy. I learned an incredible story about a life that was spared!

4. First time I have been at a homeschool convention that provided a prayer room for attendees. Great idea!

3. First time to eat at a New Jersey diner! WOW! is all I have to say about the food at Pantagis! In the past two days we have eaten there three times, and I still have leftovers in the hotel fridge from the cheesecake I ordered the first night! It was that huge, and I am known for being able to hold my sugar (just sayin') but this yummy chocolate cheesecake has been a three-day journey! LOL!

2. First time a lady asked if she could kiss me because of my Tennessee accent! I am serious! This dear lady's mom passed away 25 years ago, and she was a Tennessean and talked just like I do! So when this lady heard me speak, she had sweet memories of her mom all the way through my talk. She even told her husband, who had never met her mother: Listen to her! That's what Momma sounded like! (I was pleased to serve the Lord in that way today--for somebody to hear their mom's voice again, well, that was precious to me.)

1. First time I have ever told a room full of homeschooling parents about my fanatical love for the New York Yankees and been received with thunderous applause! LOL!

Mom's Tip of the Day #23

Talk to your kids about the changes that take place in the social hierarchy of middle school. Emphasize treating people with kindness.

In New Jersey!

Hey Everybody!

 

I'm here at the ENOCH convention in beautiful Edison, NJ, and I am so excited to see what the Lord has in store! It's already been fun to catch up with friends from Generations of Virtue, who are offering the teen track here this weekend, and to meet some new friends! I haven't been here in NJ since 2003 when I came with the National Center for Biblical Parenting conferences. I love to hear the New Jersey accent, even though sometimes I can't understand much of what is being said. So I am just trying to smile and nod a lot. LOL! Everytime I open my mouth, people keep asking me where I'm from. Evidently there is something about the way I talk that gives away the fact that I must be from out of town... :) Anyway, when I say, "Nashville," people have been quick to ask about the Nashville Flood and how our city is doing. It has been good to know that people care, and I've been blessed by the concern of others.

Today I'll be speaking on these topics:

• Tough Questions, Honest Answers
• Passionate Parenting: Prescription for Mommy Burnout

Tomorrow I have the keynote session first thing in the morning, and I'll be speaking on:

• The Missional Mom: Living the Good Life!

plus two other sessions later in the day!

So far (LOL!) it doesn't look like I have forgotten anything! There is a Wal-Mart a couple of exits down, so if I did, I'm in good shape! :) My plan is "tweet" throughout the day, as time allows, so if you're on Twitter, please follow me!

btw, Chatty Kelly and MyADHD--I think we passed the exit to your fair city on the way up here! I thought of you guys!

Mom's Tip of the Day #17

Habits create distinct boundaries for a child. Whether it is church attendance, family devotional time, or nightly bedtime prayers, children thrive on routines.

Mom's Tip of the Day #70

There will always be times when the likeability factor just does not add up. When that happens, love your child enough to pursue her likeability.

Mom's Tip of the Day #58

In the face of crisis, remember that God uses trials to strengthen family ties. Perhaps your journey is not one to avoid but to embrace.

Sneak a Pre-Listen to Next Week's Broadcasts!

Hey Everybody,

I hope you notice the familiar faces in the pic above! That's me with Bob LePine (center) and FamilyLife founder Dennis Rainey (right)! They have a preview of my broadcasts with them next week, and you can listen to the clip by going HERE. Just scroll down on the right and you'll see the audio box! Let me know what you think!

Mom's Tip of The Day #32

Children are mirrors, reflecting what they see us do. They learn how to act and react from watching our example. Save the drama.

Hey Everybody!

I hope you had a great Mother's Day! My husband reminded me that it was my 19th! Wow! That is so hard to believe. I'm so thankful that I got to spend the day with my family. I hope you did too!

We continue to receive calls from friends who have just now heard about the Nashville Flood and are checking in on us! (Guess they don't read my blog! LOL) I have another link to direct you to, this one from Baptist Press. Check it out by clicking here.

My family was busy this weekend helping out in the community around our church. Just a couple of blocks from our building there is desperate need. My husband and boys were helping people move out of their soggy homes and ripping out already-rotting drywall and insulation. There is nothing like a flood--I am quickly learning. Another thing I have realized is that we have so sanitized THE Flood, Noah's Flood, that we don't pause to think of the utter devastation and loss--of everything. I personally will never hear rain in the same way, because there is a sound byte in my memory of the pelting rain I heard when I got up last Saturday morning. I have always thought of rain as comforting, but this was not that kind. It was steady and raging, like a horse's hoofbeats charging along on a tightly packed trail.

There is no other conversation in Nashville but the flood. I was chatting with the woman in front of me at Wal-Mart the other day, and she was telling me her flood story. She and her family lived in a trailer park that was completely washed out. Now they're living in a tent across the street from the trailer park. As I listened to her share her great loss, I was astounded to hear her conclude with, "But we're okay. There's a lot of people worse off than we are."

The truth is, she's right. There are people without even a tent. And there are people with family members dead or still missing.

My pastor's Mother's Day sermon was certainly not typical this year. But it was profoundly appropriate. The title: "God Why?" A lot of people are asking that. And there are no easy answers, if any answers at all. But he pointed us to the story of Joseph in the Old Testament book of Genesis, specifically to chapter 50: 19-20.

But Joseph said to them, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

We don't know what is happening in this city that we love or in the community that we specifically serve, but the Lord does. And if this flood gives us the chance to show people who Jesus is, then we will truly be a part of the greatest search and rescue mission ever: to seek and save the Lost--the saving of many lives.

Please pray for Nashville.

Mom's Tip of the Day resumes at noon CST!

Source: www.thinkcrafts.com Designer: Shanna Vineyard

Mother's Day Extravaganza Giveaway plus my updates!

AND THERE'S A GIVEAWAY-- actually lots of 'em! Check out the Mother's Day Extravaganza and the Mom Seriously Giveaway at Faithful Provisions! There are lots of great prizes and tons of ways to win!

Quick updates:

I want to thank everyone who has contacted me to ask about my family's safety during the Nashville Flood! We are all okay, just concerned for our community. And I want to let you know that yes, I will still be at the Enoch Convention next week! I am looking forward to meeting all of you New Jersey homeschoolers!

Mom's Tips will resume as usual next week--as well as my more regular blogging schedule!

PLUS: I hope that you will all tune in to FamilyLife Today radio (with Dennis Rainey) for the broadcasts on May 17-19! I am so excited about these shows, and I hope that you'll be able to take away a lot of great information about parenting your middle schooler! Check the FamilyLife website to find your local station and air time for the shows!

All My Worldly Goods

Hey Everybody,

Last night, over close to the flood waters, I saw an elderly woman driving a car that was packed to the gills (sorry--that is appropriate though!) with all her worldly goods. It broke my heart. It made me stop and think too, as I sit looking around my home, that the fact is everything I have can be replaced. The only "irreplaceable" items would be things like the kids' pictures, our wedding pictures, letters that I have saved from my parents and my grandmother, things like that. With devastation all around us, everything has acquired the "temporary" status it deserves. And people--God's precious handiwork--have regained the soul prominence that was worth our Savior's own blood. Truly, the water has washed many things away, but it has washed in a renewed perspective.

What would you throw in the car (after your family and pets!) if you were fleeing flood waters? If you really think about it, there's not that much.

Please don't stop praying for Nashville.

Nashville Flood Video from MSNBC--Thank You

More on the Nashville Flood

Hey Everybody,

A bit of a leaky roof, a little water in the basement, and our power was out for just around 12 hours. We are very fortunate. The Nashville Flood has kept me on my knees and glued to the screen for the past three days. I have never seen anything like this in my life. I woke up this morning wondering about the house I lived in when I was a kid. It was one street over from Mill Creek, and my mom always wondered if the water would ever get down to us when it overflowed its banks. However, it never did as long as we lived there. I'm wondering today what it looks like over there.

Things will not be back to normal here for a long time. Currently, we are on a "suggested" water restriction, as requested by our mayor and governor. How do you use half the water that you normally use? There are lots of tips on the web, and lots to think and re-think about our daily routines. When I was leading the moms' group at Blanchfield Hospital at Fort Campbell a few years ago, I remember the chaplain there telling me about how the troops would go for days with just a couple of water bottles per soldier. (This was back in 2005.) It was up to them to decide if they wanted to drink it or use it for something else. I never took my showers for granted after I knew that. In fact, it became my habit to pray for the troops as I turned on my shower water each morning. Water is a precious thing, and like most things that we don't even know we hold dear, under-appreciated.

I've seen a strength in people over the past couple of days that is like a beautiful rainbow stretching over our still fair city. Yes--if you've seen Nashville on the news, then you know that our incredible city is never going to be the same. But the people here, they make it beautiful. Here's just one example:

On Monday morning, a friend of mine had to be rescued from her neighborhood by canoe. Where did she go? She came straight to the church, where you will find her every Monday, cooking and serving people in our "Homeless and Hungry" ministry. I find it truly amazing that she came to minister when she was in such great need herself. Don't you?

Oh, Nashville! Ever since we moved back here, 15 years ago, I literally drive through the streets thanking God for letting me live here. Every season holds memories--every fragrance brings stories to my mind--and it seems every time I turn around I see someone I know. The guy who rescued my friend in his canoe was the father of a kid who played baseball with Derek. They were six years old at the time, and Rich and my father-in-law coached these little kids to a championship! I hadn't seen him in years.

Nashville is my hometown. You know how you feel about your hometown. You feel possessive. If you're blessed, you feel proud. And in your heart, you want it to feel permanent.

But it's not. It can't be. Our real home, which will never be damaged by flood waters or destroyed by tornados...Our real home where Abba lives...Our real home where every time we turn around we'll see someone we know...that's coming soon. If you are a follower of Christ, you'll possess it. You'll be proud of it. And it will be permanent!

Please continue to pray for us.

Link to pictures of the Nashville Flood

Please Pray for Nashville

This is the neighborhood behind our church--lots of flooding

Hey Everybody,

Today has been unnerving. I have never seen 13 inches of rain in less than 48 hours, and if you've seen any pictures of what is going on here in the Nashville area, it's really crazy. Every spring I have to gear myself up for the inevitable tornado warnings, but flash flood warnings, and what has happened here this weekend--well, I have never experienced anything like it.

Our power went out today at 6:10 am and only came back on around 5:15 pm. I drove to church early this morning in what can only be described as a deluge. I would have turned around and gone back home, except I had locked myself out of the house LOL so I just pressed on with the boys and by the grace of God we made it to church--where the power and the Power were on, btw :)--but this has been really crazy, scary stuff, so please lift Nashville up in your prayers.

Since the power is back on, we're watching the news and there have been several deaths and numerous injuries. Seeing the images on TV seems surreal--can't believe this is my Nashville. Danya said it best on her FB: "Reminds me how not in control we are."

Thanks for praying.