Mom's Tip of the Day #39

Heart-probing questions are the key to helping children negotiate life’s decisions. Learning how to ask those questions is a skill that every mom must intentionally develop.

Because No One Is Going To Do It For You--Just Do It!

Hey Everybody,

A friend asked me recently, "How are you saving so much money with coupons?" She had attended the coupon classes that Kelly taught at my church last summer, and yet, she wasn't saving any money at the grocery store.
Concerned, I started to ask some questions. "Are you meal-planning? Are you buying what's on sale? Are you buying extra papers each week and keeping your coupons organized?" Well...no. She wasn't doing any of the things we had been taught!

Here's a news flash that we all eventually learn: No one is going to do it for you. Whether it's making your bed every morning, finding your keys, or saving money, there are certain things that, if you're like me, you have to do yourself. It would be nice to have a maid, a personal assistant, and a money tree in the back yard, but that's not happening! So what are you waiting for?

Couponing has become my own personal adventure. (Well, that's an adventure, and driving with my almost 16 yo son has become an adventure in and of itself. Let me just interrupt this post with a big "Thank you, Hand of the Lord, that surely saved us yesterday afternoon!" But that is for another post! Boys are different, moms...) It's a game, a hobby, and a lot of fun. But the coupons don't clip themselves. And the meals don't plan themselves.

Saving money doesn't just happen.

Like anything, whether it is budgeting, exercising, parenting, or having a quiet time each day, you have to make a decision. And you know what? You really have to make those kinds of decision every day. It just takes one splurge on the credit card, one day you skip your walk, one day you let the kids walk all over you, or one day of hitting the snooze, and BLAHM! you're on a slippery slope!

How about today? Let today be the day you do something you've been meaning to do!

Another parenting tip goes up at noon CST! If you're not following me on Twitter, go here!

Mom's Tip of the Day #42

Concentrate on thoughts that produce loving feelings toward your child. Avoid thoughts that focus on the fusses, feuds, and failures you two have experienced.

Mom's Tip of the Day #10

When it’s time to make decisions, be sure you and your spouse are in agreement. Always present a united front before your children.

I Dress Myself

Hey Everybody,

Teenagers are very strange. Has anyone else noticed that? :) My son has a T-shirt that says, “I dress myself.” What’s really funny about that is that his sister TOLD him to buy it, LOL!

But let’s think about that statement for a moment. Unless you are physically hindered in some way, you dressed yourself today, right? You didn't walk by your closet, pause, and then suddenly the clothes came flying off the hangers and onto your body, right? Unfortunately, we are still a few years away from the whole Jane Jetson thing! We  dress ourselves—both physically and spiritually. So my question to you is: What are you wearing?

• Psalm 30:11 says we are to be clothed with joy

• The Proverbs 31 woman was clothed in fine linen and purple, along with strength and dignity

• Isaiah 61 says the Lord has clothed us in garments of salvation and a robe of righteousness

Tomorrow: Do you dress your children?

It's Official!

Happy 13th Birthday, Derek! I love you so much!

Gratefulness

Do you show thankfulness for every gift you receive?
Does your attitude convey a spirit of gratitude and contentment?
Prayers of thankfulness around the family table are wonderful, but please don't stop there! Let it just be your starting point!

Comment often on how grateful you are for your home, a warm bed to sleep in, and food on the table. Thank your children often for their help, hard work, and pleasant attitudes. Thank your husband for his faithfulness day in and day out. And most of all, remember that salvation itself is the very essence of a heart of thankfulness.

Teach your children to:

• Write thank you notes.
• Express their gratitude verbally.
• Show thankfulness with hugs and smiles.
• Find something to be thankful for in every circumstance.

Read more:
Humility
Gratefulness
Generosity
A Servant Spirit

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Humility

Do you take the best seat, the biggest slice, and the first place in line? If so, chances are your kids will do the same.

The apostle Paul challenged believers to walk in humility, considering others as more important than themselves (Philippians 2:3). Children best learn humility when they learn the true nature of Christ, as defined in Philippians 2.

Teach your children to:

• Let others go first.
• Offer the bigger half to a sibling.
• Always consider how someone else feels.

 Humility is all but forgotten in our culture, and it has never been more needed.

Read more:
Humility
Gratefulness
Generosity
A Servant Spirit

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Generosity

I am not sure that sharing ever becomes an easy thing to do. As adults, we know it is the right thing to do, but sometimes it is still difficult for us. Now the toys are bigger, whether you are sharing your home, your car, or your grocery budget. Teach your children to:

• Hold things loosely.
• Give a tithe and even more.
• Give big tips.
• Give cheerfully, whether it is money, time, or talents.

Read more:
Humility
Gratefulness
Generosity
A Servant Spirit

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A Servant Spirit

Real servanthood is accomplished when you do something that can never be paid back. Helping an elderly stranger get groceries loaded into her car or helping a cranky neighbor with yard work nets no profit for self. But it is an eternal investment when you do everything for God’s glory (1 Corinthians 10:31). Teach your children to:

• Serve others with an attitude of love.
• Give to people who can never repay.
• Show initiative by taking care of things they see need to be done.

“Build these four qualities into your children, and they will become great people,” says Dr. Kimmel. “It becomes their DNA when they launch.” And what about those other four things: wealth, beauty, power, and fame?

 “Almost every time, God throws those things in for free,” notes Dr. Kimmel. “When somebody is committed to the qualities of greatness, they just automatically move to the top of the heap.”

Read more:
Humility
Gratefulness
Generosity
A Servant Spirit

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Mom's Tip of the Day #18

Help your child understand that God has created particular gifts, talents, and abilities within her for the specific intent of bringing glory to Him.

TGIF!

Hey Everybody,

Busy weekend ahead! I hope it's a great one for you and your family!

I'll be getting ready for Derek's party-hearty today and all the details that go along with that! I'd love for you to follow me on Twitter--so check that out if you have time today.

Don't forget: Another Mom's Tip will pop up at noon CST!

Mom's Tip of the Day #47

Make the most of shared spaces! There are only so many years siblings are at home together, and there is only so much time for making memories.

And Then There Were Three

Hey Everybody,

This Sunday, at the official time of 12:15 pm, I will be the mother of THREE teenagers! Yes, my youngest is joining the ranks of teendom, and I will totally be Living with Teenagers! I remember as a young mom realizing that I would have three teenagers at once! Fortunately, I had read the book, The Shaping of a Christian Family by Elisabeth Elliot, and in it, she said that parents had no reason to fear the teenage years. She explained that our culture expects rebellion, defiance, and general chaos from the teen years, and there is no reason for it. As Christians, we should anticipate our kids' growing years with great excitement! We should expect the best from them as they grow into more independent relationships with Jesus, trusting Him every step of the way. I decided then that I would look forward to my kids' teen years. And you know what? It's been absolutely great so far!

Now, here's the deal: Danya turned 18 back in January. David turns 16 in July. And my baby will be 13 this weekend. Those are all pivotal birthdays, and they are hitting me hard! Yes, they are milestones, but they remind me that I am working my way out of the only job I have ever truly loved: parenting.

This Sunday I will be giving Derek an extra special gift. When all of my kids were babies, I began writing a journal for each one of them. I give them their journals on their 13th birthday. I wept like a banshee when I gave Danya hers, causing her to say with concern, "Mom, what are you going to do when I turn 16?" (Never mind that I blinked and there we were at her 16th b-day party--or so it seemed!). When I gave David his book, I held it together a little better, knowing that I still had one book left to give. Well, here I am!

Okay, so what's in this journal? Well, I write the story of their births (yeah, complete with gory details! LOL) and what their name means, and then, over the years, I just wrote of big moments in their lives, including recording their salvation experience and things I wanted them to know about how their character was developing and what I saw in the personality God has given them. Mostly I tell them how much I love them, and how Jesus loves them even more!

If you have a copy of Baby Boot Camp, you may have read about these little books, and my plans for giving them to my kids. I can't believe I'm on the last one!

*Don't forget to check out Mom's Tip of the Day at noon CST!

Mom's Tip of the Day #51

Take advantage of drive time by showing your interest in listening to your child. Put your cell phone on silent and turn the radio down.

Pruning Always Leads to New Growth

Hey Everybody!

My mom told me last night that it was "redbud winter." It does help to know that the cold weather we have had is going to a good cause: beautiful redbud trees! While the nights here are still chilly, yesterday was actually a gorgeous day--warm, sunny, bright--and I noticed that my crepe myrtles are starting to bloom! Yay!

A few weeks ago, a friend at church, Bill (our resident crepe myrtle expert LOL!), told me how to prune my crepes so that they will do well this year. My crepes are in their third season, and I had never pruned them. When Derek and I, along with his buddy Lucas, went outside to prune them, all three of us hesitated.

"Mom," Derek said, "are you sure?"

I stood poised with the clippers in my hands, and I just repeated what Bill had told me. "Cut them to about here (knee high), and they will grow taller than a man and bloom all summer." 

I began to cut.

"Mom!" Derek cried out. "What if they don't grow back?"

I repeated, "Derek, Bill said to cut them to about here, and they will grow taller than a man and bloom all summer. Bill knows what he's talking about. I'm going to trust Bill."

I want you to know that my stomach was in knots as I tried to cut those bushes down. Lucas ended up doing most of it, and Derek and I dragged the limbs away. But guess what I noticed today? Those crepes are already beginning to grow and get buds on them!

Sometimes, in our lives, God tells us to prune things away in order to gain new growth. When that happens, it is easy to question the truth of what He has said. We begin to play the "what if" game and that can create a lot of confusion in our minds and hearts. If that is going on in your life right now, please keep repeating what the real Expert has to say! Then just do it! Do it with your stomach in knots! Do it because you trust the One who knows what He's talking about.

*Don't forget to check back at noon for Mom's Tip of the Day!

Mom's Tip of the Day #43

If we parents choose loving actions in every relationship--even when loving emotions are absent--our kids will learn to do the same.

Don't Let Go!

Hey Everybody,

I haven't felt like myself lately. But it's that time of year. You know, waiting for spring and thinking it's here, then getting blasted with another round of cold weather! I am so ready for warm weather! And I've also felt just tired. Kind of blah with the routine of things. Anyone else?

Parenting is the job that never quits until it ends, you know? I recently told Danya: You will always need your parents, but you will not always need to be parented. That's the goal, right? But currently, I am still on duty with my senior daughter and my 9th and 7th grade sons. This time of year, entering the last nine weeks of school and chomping at the bit for spring, I tend to begin feeling a bit of burn out.

What is burn out? Well, simply put, it is growing weary in doing good. And the apostle Paul wrote about it in Galatians 6:9.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (NIV)

My friend Kelly gave me a necklace recently with that verse on it. It was just what I needed. Take a look at this same verse from the Amplified Bible:

And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint. (AMP)

Yeah, you can get burned out when it comes to parenting, and just day-to-day living, for that matter. You can get tired of doing the right thing all the time. You can get tired of taking care of everyone and managing everything and you can get tired of being "on" all the time. But what are we encouraged to do? Hang on! Don't relax your courage; don't loosen your grip on the Lord. In other words, Don't let go! At the appointed time, the harvest is yours to reap!

What are some things you do to encourage yourself to keep going in the face of burn out? I was reminded Sunday of how the Israelites built altars of stones to remember the mighty things that the Lord had done in their lives. I've been thinking of some "altars" that I can erect around my home, just to serve as reminders of the Lord's constant, unfailing, never-giving-up kind of love and grace in my life. How about you?

Mom's Tip of the Day #29

Date your kids! Regularly create opportunities for one-on-one time with each of them, and give them your undivided attention. Remember: Kids spell “love” t-i-m-e.

Mom's Tip of the Day Premieres!

Hey Everybody!

I'm excited to let you know about a new feature on my blog! Everyday, besides my regular post, I'll be posting a "Mom's Tip of the Day!" I have hundreds of parenting tips to share with you, and I'm so excited to add this new element to Mom Seriously! But I can't add it without a disclaimer:

I'm a magazine person. I subscribe to several! And I have often thought about how cool it would be if these mags were delivered live and in-person! Can you picture this? See, rather than gorgeous slick pages promising easy how-to’s, I would get the real help I need:
a chef to whip up meals like Mom’s (only without the calories);
a decorator armed with new furniture and fabrics (all on a shoestring budget!);
an organizer carrying cute containers for all my stuff;
a pediatrician sharing the secrets to handling ear infections, colic, and picky eaters;
and a child psychologist who taught my kids to get along with each other!

Most magazines offer the same promises in every issue, and they continue to sell because most of us find “shortcuts” and “easy” answers to be the most appealing way to approach motherhood. But there isn’t an easy way. No one is going to do it for you. And the real answers to being the best mom for your kids will never be found in the promise-laden pages of the latest magazine--or even in a Mom's Tip of the Day! There is nothing easy about parenting. I simply offer these tips as an inspiration and encouragement to help you along your journey! They'll post at noon (CST) each day--so subscribe to my RSS feed or follow me on Twitter to make sure you don't miss one!

I do love tips!

Consider This #26

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. Colossians (3:1-2)

Here's something to think about this weekend:

We do not have interruptions, only divine opportunities. ~William Fay

Consider this, too: If you like my favorite quotes, be sure to join my author page on Facebook! I post a quick devotional remark or Scripture verse daily!

Watch This Danya Music Clip!

Hey Everybody,

Here's Danya and her band playing in a club called "The Muse" in downtown Nashville. My son David describes this club as "a gas station men's restroom where they play music." (That would be funny until you go there and you see that it is an accurate description!) It is located across the street from an "adult" store, and well, let's just say it is not a place where you would expect to hear people praising God.

But then there's Danya. And that's just what she does! To her right, on the guitar, is Matt Morris. Behind her on drums is Mat Poole. And to her left on bass is Kelli Hill. Enjoy, and have a great weekend!

Put a Spin on It! (Part Two)

This Mom Thing is a lot harder than anyone expects. Consider the life of a new mom:

• She's tired.
• She can't think straight.
• She's got hips and rolls and bulges that she never had before.
• Her house is a wreck.

Kids definitely change our lives. They bring an element of chaos to the most orderly women. They bring a factor of confusion to women who are the most clear-minded. And they bring a heart of commitment to the most flighty.

So what if you put a spin on it when things seem out of control? What if you just stopped and sang a worship song to put things in perspective? The enemy flees when we worship God in spite of our circumstances! You'll send him packing in no time when you stop and thank God for:

• Being tired (How many women long to rock a baby through a sleepless night?)
• Having baby on the brain (This is called bonding!)
• The hips and rolls and bulges (These are your battle scars, earned for sacrificing your figure in order to bring life into this world!)
• A wrecked house (You have more important things to do than clean your house!)

After listening to Jayson's thoughts, I began to thank God for the email I had received. I praised Him for allowing me to bring a message of hope and renewal to new moms. I thanked Him for the opposition because that meant I was actually getting somewhere! In the same way, when you realize you have an enemy who longs to sabotage your family from its infancy, be sure you remember you have a Savior who offers you victory! Because of Him, you are undefeated, Mom!

Surely I'm not the only one who has those days of feeling overwhelmed, under-prepared, and completely inadequate for the tasks at hand. Let's make a choice today: Let's live like winners!

Yes, today: Live like the winner you are!

image from the young mommy blog

Put a Spin on It! (Part One)

When Baby Boot Camp: Basic Training for the First Six Weeks of Motherhood was first released, it was one of the most exciting times of my life! Over a period of several months, I was in the trenches of promoting it with book signings, interviews, and a website when, wham! I got a negative e-mail from someone who said some hurtful things. This person was upset about a controversial parenting issue she thought I had addressed in my book. She obviously had not read my book, or she would have known that subject was not part of my book. Nevertheless, she proceeded to rip me to shreds with her words. Ouch, ouch, ouch!

In true Anne of Green Gables fashion, I was in the depths of despair, replaying the words of her email in my mind. I knew they were not true. I knew it was her opinion. I knew she had not read my book! But the words she hurled at me brought doubt and confusion to the new calling God had placed on my life.

A few days later, I was at a LifeWay bookstore talking with the manager, Jayson. I told him about the email I had received, and he said, "Praise the Lord!"

"What?" I said, completely confused.

"Don't you know you have an enemy?” he asked. “The Bible tells us to consider it pure joy when trials come our way. This email means that the enemy considers you a worthy opponent. You're messing with him! So be glad about it!"

That put a different spin on things, and suddenly, I was thinking from a different perspective.

My kids weren't gung-ho on learning to mow the yard until I told them that riding the mower was good practice for driving. That put a spin on it.
Cleaning a dirty kitchen doesn't sound like much fun until you appreciate the fact that a dirty kitchen means God provided food for your family to eat. That puts a spin on it.

What do you need to "spin" in your life today?

Tomorrow: Put a Spin on it! (Part Two)

Mom, You are Sooo Like Your Son!

Hey Everybody,

It's been a while since I've posted this video, so I'm hoping this bit of humor will help get your week started right! These are my "Top Ten Reasons Moms are More Like Their Sons than They Dare to Admit!" This was recorded at the SHEM convention a couple of years ago. I personally think it's pretty funny :) and I hope you will too! Enjoy!

Words Have Life

Hey Everybody,

I read with interest (and a fair amount of heartbreak) an online story that was making the news yesterday. "Teacher Writes Loser on Student's Assignments" is about how teacher Rex Roland of the Enka Middle School in Buncombe County, NC, uses what is termed as "progressive" methods to teach his students. One of those methods, according to the story, is to write "Loser" on students' papers when they miss something.

For someone who is teaching middle school, Mr. Roland doesn't seem to know much about what his students are going through. Middle schoolers say all kinds of hurtful things to each other--why should teachers join in? Kids need to be taught the power of words, and parents and teachers are the ones who should be teaching them. Kids constantly tease and criticize each other, tacking on a "just kidding" at the end of every phrase. But the damage is done. And "just kidding" doesn't go very far. Does progressive education mean getting on a peer level with the students? How could that ever work?

Words have life. They live on long after they are said--and even longer when they are written down on a piece of paper that can be stared at for hours on end. Sixth-grade girls are at a place in their lives where words hold great significance. Here's an example:

Kristie was a girl I met in middle school. She was everything I wasn’t: cute, blonde, blue-eyed, petite. She was a cheerleader, popular, and everybody wanted to be her friend. Our English class had to memorize a poem that year and recite it in front of everyone. Well, when that day came, I had to go first. Now, despite all my insecurities, I was okay to be in front of people, and I didn’t mind going first because I had worked hard on my poem. And I didn’t just say it, y’all, I performed it. I love words, and I always have, so I just really did it with gusto and a lot of flair. I got some applause at the end, but I got mostly laughter. I was embarrassed, and it seemed that class took forever that day to end. When it did, Kristie came up to me as everyone else was leaving, and she said something to me that I will never forget. She said, “You are so smart. You’re going to be something one day. You’ll be an actress or an author—I don’t know what, but you’re going to be something one day.” That simple statement didn’t cost her anything, and she probably wouldn’t even remember it, but it is something I have carried with me ever since.

Why? Because words have life.

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. ~Proverbs 18:21

Consider This #25

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. Colossians (3:1-2)

Here's something to think about this weekend:

"Prayer is not this ethereal something that can’t be grasped. Prayer is, simply stated, talking with God." ~Fern Nichols, Founder, Moms In Touch International 

Consider this, too: If you like my favorite quotes, be sure to join my author page on Facebook! I post a quick devotional remark or Scripture verse daily!

What I Wish I'd Known about the Investment of Prayer -- Denalyn Lucado (Part Two)

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to interview author Denalyn Lucado (yes, she's author Max Lucado's wife) for ParentLife. As the mother of three grown daughters, she shared some of her "what I wish I'd known" thoughts about parenting. I hope you learn, as I did, from her wisdom and experience!

Pray God's Word

"A common prayer of mine as a young mom was, ‘O God, please help me to wake up early so that I can have some quiet time to pray before my girls get up.’ And that was the desire of my heart. But I would pray it differently today. I would pray, ‘Lord, according to Ephesians 6:10, help me to be strong in you and in the power of your might today.’ Moms in Touch really taught me to pray Scripture for my children.


"Find some of your favorite Scriptures, write them on note cards, and stick them around your house. In the morning as you grab a cup of coffee and put your makeup on, dwell on a verse you have posted by the mirror. His Word does not return void. He promises that it will accomplish what it was meant to accomplish, and He will do that in spite of us. It’s those baby steps of obedience that will get you where you want to go. Let God feed you with His Word.


"Your goal is to know God. He wants you to know Him intimately, in such a way that He directs your day. He orders your steps and your minutes. If there is a lack of peace when you wake up, you walk through your house and pray His Word. Just invite His presence into that place. There is an invisible world out there. There is a spiritual war. As moms, the greatest thing we can do for our children is to pray for them."

What I Wish I'd Known about the Investment of Prayer -- Denalyn Lucado (Part One)

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to interview author Denalyn Lucado (yes, she's author Max Lucado's wife) for ParentLife. As the mother of three grown daughters, she shared some of her "what I wish I'd known" thoughts about parenting. I hope you learn, as I did, from her wisdom and experience!

Pray without Ceasing

"If I were raising my children again, I would pray more. I would be in God’s Word more, and I would pray God’s Word for my children. I think one of the most powerful things we can do is pray Scripture for our children. I believe God’s Word is alive, and it is so powerful! When we pray it for our children, we are praying God’s will for them.


"God has brought me to a point where I really believe that He wants to be in every second of our lives. When I was younger, I could never quite grasp the verse that says to pray without ceasing. Now, I’m beginning to kind of see what God is talking about. It’s not that I have arrived or gotten there at all, but often, He gives me those special instances where I can see He really wants to be in the minutes of my day.


"When I was a young mom, I knew God was present, and I knew that He loved me. But I kind of felt like He had given me a job—to be a mom and to be a wife—and I needed to do it. In a sense, that is true, however, I kind of did that in my own strength, my own creativity, and my own power, with sort of that superwoman complex. In the middle of my parenting, when all three of my girls were in elementary school, the Lord simply let me fall on my face, so He could pick me up and start showing me where the power for my life comes from."


Tomorrow: What I Wish I'd Known about the Investment of Prayer -- Denalyn Lucado (Part Two)